Ange's Cool Link of the Day

[Angeline]

Ok, maybe not *every* day; knowing me, I'm sure I'll screw up here and there, but I'll try to put one up each day. I imagine they'll all be poetry/writing related, but you never know when I'll try to sneak something else in.

So for today, a way cool poetry compendium type site. Explore and enjoy!

Oh and read John Keats' Ode to a Grecian Urn whilst listening to this music written expressly for it.

 

[Angeline]

April 2, 2003

I've bitched in the past about traditonal form and the fact that I like free verse better. I prefer to begin writing and see where my imagination takes me. I find that if I have to think about rules and how to follow them, my creative juices dry up. That's just me.

Right now I'm reading Lewis Turco's The Book of Forms. Even if you don't care to write in prescribed formats, there are excellent explanations here about rhythm and meter in poetry and, even more important, how a poem's sound and structure influence its tone and meaning. It's a great book--a bit on the dry side (lol, it affected his creative juices too), but really pretty easy to read.

Ok, so maybe you don't want to spend money on a book right now. I know I don't because I spent mine on this delish CD instead.

So here is the link for today from a site called PoeticByway, a glossary of poetic terms. It's extensive and cross-referenced. Have fun!

 

[Angeline]

April 2 Lagniappe

April is National Poetry Month (something I just read somewhere else or believe me you wouldn't be hearing it from me).

Check out this cool site Poetry is for Everybody

It is sponsored by the University of Iowa, which had the first creative writing grad school program in the USA and The Writing Workshop for Poetry which is, arguably, the best college poetry writing program in the nation today.


Here's a poem from that link that I think is wonderful.

LETTER TO A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER
Gary Gildner


Dear Miss Miller,
You are someone
too sweet to sleep alone
and I can't help myself


sitting here hearing
your soft voice so
I must tell you
I like you


very much and would like
to know you better.
I know there is a difference
in our age and race


but we do have something
in common—You're a girl
and I'm a boy
and that is all


we need. Please
do not look at me
like I'm silly or sick
and most of all


please do not reject
my very first love
affair. If you do
not feel the same


as I do please
tell me how I can forget
your unforgettable voice
that reminds me


of Larry the Duke's pet
birds in the morning,
your blue eyes like the
Blessed Virgin's,


your golden hair and your
nice red mouth. Please
give me some sign
of how you feel,


I would rather be hurt
than forgotten forever.
Sincerely yours,
The Boy in the Green Shirt.

 

[Angeline]

April 3, 2003

Are lyrics poetry? Bet there are writers and musicians on both sides of this fence. Here's some fuel to pump up the flames.

Lou Reed, Mr. Velvet Underground, Transformer, and all-around NYC bad boy has always danced on the edge of poetry--ever since his college days, when he studied with the strange visionary poet Delmore Schwartz.

Here's a dark and, I think, fascinating take on the sonnet form from Schwartz.

Sonnet: O City, City
by Delmore Schwartz

To live between terms, to live where death
has his loud picture in the subway ride,
Being amid six million souls, their breath
An empty song suppressed on every side,

Where the sliding auto's catastrophe
Is a gust past the curb, where numb and high
The office building rises to its tyranny,
Is our anguished diminution until we die.

Whence, if ever, shall come the actuality
Of a voice speaking the mind's knowing,
The sunlight bright on the green windowshade,
And the self articulate, affectionate, and flowing,

Ease, warmth, light, the utter showing,
When in the white bed all things are made.




Not too long ago Lou released the cd The Raven an hommage to Edgar Allen Poe, a pretty strange and visionary writer himself. Reed, who enlisted the help of a range of artists from Willem Dafoe to Ornette Coleman and Laurie Anderson, wrote songs based on Poe's work that express both Poe's and his own dark obsessions with loss and guilt. The cd has been almost universally panned though, for twisting (and sometimes utterly changing) Poe's words.

So here is a link to the lyrics. Is this poetry?

 

[Angeline]

April 4, 2003

I was in a kinda silly mood today, so I went searching for slang. I love slang because I love words and, let's face it, today's slang is often tomorrow's standard. So this is your justification for using slanguage: you're cutting edge baby!

So let's start with a fairly vanilla compendium of American Slang from the University of California at Berkely. You can learn lotsa fun stuff here like this, for example:

badonkadonk adj 1. used to described buttocks of exceptional quality and bounce. ("That girl has a serious badonkadonk butt.")

karmadog, are you listening? I just found the word that describes the girl of your dreams.

Then there are those delightful Brits, and I just love slang from the UK. Some of my favorite people are from England, and I plan to stay on their good side especially now that I've discovered the English actually have a word for the following:

Glass verb. To break and smash a drinking glass into someone's face.

There are other slanguages, French, German, and even, for you Sopranos fans, mobspeak.

I have to admit though that my favorite online slang resource is the Pseudodictonary, which consists of slang made up and submitted by readers like you and me (frightening huh?). Moreover, the Pseudodictionary has one of my favorite online features, the Abuse-a-tron, which randomly generates delightful insults like:


"You wear flea collars that clash with your shoes, you priggish, hairball gnawing, sheep ravishing, reprehensible stripling of Richard Nixon's secret indiscretions."

Now *that's* an insult.

 

[Rybka]

Abuse-a-tron

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Now I can send many more messages of affection that Xtaabay can understand!

"You get health care from a veterinarian, you peculiar, mildew smelling, squid licking, pseudo-human lugubrious spawn of a lavalamp!"


Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[Angeline]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Now I can send many more messages of affection that Xtaabay can understand!

Not that I want to condone abusing any particular Literotican, but they are the most wonderful insults, aren't they? Here's one I just clicked on.

"You bend down and sniff before you flush, you revolting, manure swallowing, gerbil stroking, chemically-based cub of an existentialist pinball machine repairman."


YIKES!

 

[CrowSingsOver]

This may sound wierd, but I find that I don't like jazz, but I like a lot of blues. Maybe it's just the goofy psuedo-jazz that I dislike. You know, the kind that's obviously not really heart fealt by the musicians. But hey, I'm sorta odd.

-Crow (now killing a bug)

 

[CrowSingsOver]

the fish

*whistles* the fish is lookin' good!

-Crow (or maybe not)

 

[CrowSingsOver]

Rybka's fan club

Well I was driving north today and passed the airport. There was quite a commotion going on, with a lot of music and cheering. When I looked closer, I saw that it was Rybka's fan club, they must have had taken the wrong plane. It's okay now, I brought then with me. Here they are.



go Rybka! Shake your booty! You don't got one? Shake it anyway! Go Rybka! Go Rybka!

 

[Angeline]

Don't Like Jazz?

You're not listening to the right stuff then. Try these sound samples at Jerry Jazz Musician.

Lester Young

Bud Powell

Billie Holiday

Charlie Parker

I could go on. These are but a very few examples of the best jazz has to offer. This is, trust me, jazz that is as heartfelt and serious as it gets.

 

[Angeline]

April 5, 2003

I dunno about the rest of you poets, but I am completely without shame when it comes to resources for writing new poems. I will exploit any memory, my own or someone else's, if I think there's a decent poem in it. Therefore, I was thrilled to discover today's link:

Anecdotage

an online encyclopedia of anecdotes by or about individuals from every walk of life you can imagine.

Yes, there are boring, run-of-the-mill stories here--all very brief--some of which you may have heard before. There are also though little gems that are fascinating and funny and sparkling. Here's a brief sample of what you can find there:

Poetic Attitude

While attending a dinner party one evening, Robert Frost and his fellow guests were invited onto a veranda to watch the sunset. "Oh, Mr. Frost," a young woman exclaimed, "isn't it a lovely sunset?" Replied Frost: "I never discuss business after dinner."

Royal Snickering

There is a wonderful story of Queen Victoria at Windsor," Prince Michael of Kent once told The Sunday Telegraph, "when she was sitting next to a deaf old admiral, who was telling an endless story of a battleship that had sunk and later been towed into Portsmouth. The Queen, anxious to change the subject, asked him about his sister. Mishearing her, he replied: 'I am going to have her turned over, take a good look at her bottom and have it scraped.' The Queen 'put down her knife and fork, hid her face in her handkerchief and shook and heaved with laughter until the tears rolled down her face.'"

Embarrassing Faux Pas

In 1921, Chinese ambassador Wellington Koo visited America to represent China at the Washington Conference. At one banquet he found himself seated beside a young woman who, after several minutes of embarrassed silence, attempted to begin a conversation: "Likee soupee?" she asked. Alas, Koo merely nodded and continued with his meal. Some time later, he was called upon to address the guests - which he did for ten minutes in impeccable English. Sitting down, he turned to his young neighbor and asked: "Likee speechee?"


Suckerology

Early in his career, P. T. Barnum created an exhibit, entitled "The Happy Family," consisting only of a simple cage containing a lion, a tiger, a panther - and a baby lamb. The unusual display brought newspaper headlines and impressive attendance figures. Some time after its opening, Barnum was asked about his plans for his happy new family. "The display will become a permanent feature," he declared, "if the supply of lambs holds out."


Actually, even if you don't use these tales in your writing, they (and, hence, the site) are great fun to explore.

Happy Saturday!

 

[Cordelia]

This may sound wierd, but I find that I don't like jazz, but I like a lot of blues. Maybe it's just the goofy psuedo-jazz that I dislike. You know, the kind that's obviously not really heart fealt by the musicians. But hey, I'm sorta odd.

-Crow (now killing a bug)

When it comes to liking, disliking, or feeling neutral about any sort of art, I always remember the quote from Duke Ellington:

If it sounds good, it is good.

He was referring to music, but I think it goes for anything. If you like it, it's good.

Cordelia

 

[CrowSingsOver]

poor Rybka

I made some glaring mistakes on Rybka's fan club response. Here, I'll fix it for you, my fishy friend.

"Well, I was driving north today and passed the airport. There was quite a commotion going on, with a lot of music and cheering. When I looked closer, I saw that it was Rybka's fan club, they must have taken the wrong plane. It's okay now, I brought them with me. Here they are."


sorry about that!

-Crow (blushing)

 

[Rybka]

Re: poor Rybka

I made some glaring mistakes on Rybka's fan club response. Here, I'll fix it for you, my fishy friend.

"Well, I was driving north today and passed the airport. There was quite a commotion going on, with a lot of music and cheering. When I looked closer, I saw that it was Rybka's fan club, they must have taken the wrong plane. It's okay now, I brought them with me. Here they are."

sorry about that!

-Crow (blushing)

I am sorry Cow Jumps Over that you have result to Chiquita strap-ons for... Ah, companionship.

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[CrowSingsOver]

Oh, rybka! If I didn't know better, and what you said really made any sense at all, I might take it as quite an insult. Naughty Rybka! Don't make me spank you're little tail, you might like it too much.

-crow

anyway, I like the purple cow poem more than the hey diddle diddle poem

 

[Guest]

Re: Abuse-a-tron

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Now I can send many more messages of affection that Xtaabay can understand!

"You get health care from a veterinarian, you peculiar, mildew smelling, squid licking, pseudo-human lugubrious spawn of a lavalamp!"


Regards,                                 Rybka

ohh... so THIS is where those cryptic insults on the other thread have come from. I didn't think you needed an abuse-a-tron, Rybka I guess YOUR creative juices are drying up!
--Xtaabay

 

[Rybka]

Re: Re: Abuse-a-tron

ohh... so THIS is where those cryptic insults on the other thread have come from. I didn't think you needed an abuse-a-tron, Rybka I guess YOUR creative juices are drying up!
--Xtaabay

Xtaabay, please note I said, "Now I can send many more messages of affection that Xtaabay CAN understand!"

Regards,                                 Rybka

PS: I said "affection" not "affectation".

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Abuse-a-tron

Xtaabay, please note I said, "Now I can send many more messages of affection that Xtaabay CAN understand!"

Regards,                                 Rybka

PS: I said "affection" not "affectation".

Yeah, yeah.
By the way, I happen to be biting the heads off of a handful of Swedish fish. Mmm.. Tasty! Thought you might just like to know.

--Xtaabay

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Abuse-a-tron

Xtaabay, please note I said, "Now I can send many more messages of affection that Xtaabay CAN understand!"

Regards,                                 Rybka

PS: I said "affection" not "affectation".

Dearest Rybka,
You hide when you hear water running in the tub, you anal-retentive, pus smelling, monkey jumping, misbegotten offspring of a dyspeptic cannibal

--Xtaabay

 

[Angeline]

Maybe I Shouldn't Stir the Pot

but this site is too funny to be kept secret. Meet the Insult Generator. It picks up where the abuse-a tron ends. Oh sure the abuse-a-tron can call you vile names (and I *do* think "reprehensible stripling of Richard Nixon's secret indiscretions" may be the high art--the Pieta, if you will--of insults), but it's so so vague.

The Insult Generator is *personal*. Yes, personal. Oooooh.

You plug in personal info about the object of your err disaffection and voila, a big ugly insult pops out.

Let's say I'm annoyed at me. I really want to tell me off, but good. I just plug in some info (I'm female, average size, smart--usually--etc.), and I get this incredibly nasty message customized just for me:

You insufferable Internet harpy. You couldn't get a date in a whorehouse with a fistful of $20s; even your right hand turns you down. You're not average looking, you dumb fuck. Who are you kidding? You're borderline fugly, at best. Your face would make an onion cry. Fuck off to China, you commie-sympathizing, coffee shop pseudo-Marxist fuckwit. You are quite intelligent - for a gerbil with Downs Syndrome. You know what they say: average in height, average in bed. I'd tell you to go fuck yourself and the horse you rode in on, but looking at that stupid grin on your face, I'd say you already have.

Holy moly. That is really really rude.

But wait. This insultometer doesn't stop there. No, like any of Ron Popiel's finest products, a K-tel CD, or the Ginzsu knives, it's a multitasker. It gives you more! Suppose I want to flame--oh say Rybka--it generates flames:

Do you speak any language that non-gibbering idiots can understand? I suggest you hone your writing skills before applying borrowed glories as a mere typist.

If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to drive an ant's Go-cart around the inside of a bottle cap. I understand what you are trying to say, even though you obviously don't. Reading your post makes blindness a wonderful thing to look forward to. To quote Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."

You are about as entertaining as watching grass grow in a windowbox. What do you do for a living? You are living, aren't you? I'd get more pleasure from running my nostrils down a cactus, than reading another contribution from you. Maybe you wouldn't be such a Jerk-In-The-Box if you didn't have that botched back street lobotomy that left you that crisscrossed shoelace scar on your forehead; if your weren't so fat that when God said "Let there be Light", he told you to move your fat ass out of the way, or if you didn't have a face like a bulldog chewing a stinging nettle while taking a constipated dump in a heat wave. Nah, of course you would.

Dullard, do yourself and everyone else a favor: take a fatal overdose of your medication.

Wowie!!! (Oh and sorry Rybka . This was simply for illustrative purposes.)

There's a curse generator, a Shakespearian insult generator, and on and on. And if you don't want customization, there's a whole big prefab section of insults to browse, like this:

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.
- Moses Hadas

(hehe. I like that one.)

So even though we really all love each other (we do, right), here's more fuel for the flames.

P.S. Say darkmaas? Did you call me "sweet" on some thread? hahahaha

 

[Rybka]

Re: Maybe I Shouldn't Stir the Pot

but this site is too funny to be kept secret. Meet the Insult Generator. It picks up where the abuse-a tron ends. Oh sure the abuse-a-tron can call you vile names (and I *do* think "reprehensible stripling of Richard Nixon's secret indiscretions" may be the high art--the Pieta, if you will--of insults), but it's so so vague.

The Insult Generator is *personal*. Yes, personal. Oooooh.

You plug in personal info about the object of your err disaffection and voila, a big ugly insult pops out.

Let's say I'm annoyed at me. I really want to tell me off, but good. I just plug in some info (I'm female, average size, smart--usually--etc.), and I get this incredibly nasty message cutomized just for me:

You mean like, "Hey Xtaabay (or CrowFlop), Yuk! What a putrid waste of a vagina you are. You couldn't get a date if your life depended on it, you chronic self-abuser. You're damn right about being vomit-inducing fugly. You have a face that would give Freddie Kruger nightmares. How much would you change to haunt a house? You're the typical left-wing, know-nothing, good-for-nothing, bleeding heart bungling bum who thinks the world owes you a living. Calling you a pea brain would be an insult to peas, you jellyfish-sucking mental midget. Did your mother leave you in the dryer too long when you were a kid, you little leprechaun? Be careful you don't bump your head on the door handle. Lying about your weight again, eh? Since when did Pregnant Water Buffalo Size become 'Average'? Professional, my ass. You couldn't win a cigar after giving birth in a tobacco field in Havana, you clueless, uber-incompetent fuckwit. That's a sexy outfit you're wearing. Who shot the couch? I've come across decomposing animal carcasses that are less offensive than you are. "

Something like that?

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[Angeline]

Oh my

my bad girl days are over. I think I better go back to poetry links. Tomorrow:

Sacred Poems and You: Atoning R Us

 

[CrowSingsOver]

oh my god! I wish I knew about this when my ex broke up with me.
Here's his:

Are you sure that you're a man, you odious leach-covered blob of quivering slime? You couldn't get a date if your life depended on it, you chronic self-abuser. You're not average looking, you dumb fuck. Who are you kidding? You're borderline fugly, at best. Your face would make an onion cry. I see your politics are middle-of-the-road; good place to be - let's hope a Mac truck runs you over. You four-eyed, cerebrally-deluded, Einstein-impersonating, pseudo-intellectual geekette. Like your height, everything about you is average; except your stench - which is overwhelming. If your weight is proportional, how come the shadow of your ass weighs 50 pounds? Professional people are like legs: when they get to the top, they become asses. I love that suit you're wearing. You never throw anything away, do you? Try this maneuver: Take 50-60 paces backwards. Take several deep breaths. Sprint forward at full speed. Do a triple summersault through the air, and disappear up your own asshole.


heheheh...now that's the stuff

 

[Guest]

er?

this is wierd... I just tried to send a PM and it appeared as a post!!! Talk about strange! Anyway, just disregard this, since I can't seem to be able to delete it completely.