And she'll have pun, pun, pun...

[satindesire]

What angle are you working here?

I'm cosineing you out of this conversation. I bet you think General Calculus was a Roman war hero!

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I don't mean to be a square or anything, but I'd put a noose on it myself.

I rope you wound knot tie such a string!

 

[midwestyankee]

I rope you wound knot tie such a string!

Naught, an I say, for soot: if a sheep shank, twill be a wooly time finding the ball.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I'm cosineing you out of this conversation. I bet you think General Calculus was a Roman war hero!

They say that General Calculus was such a well rounded guy...so even...not odd at all. I heard that he was variable to handle stress until something sets him off but there was never any proof, so I am left to try to figure out if it is true...

 

[Starr_girl]

They say that General Calculus was such a well rounded guy...so even...not odd at all. I heard that he was variable to handle stress until something sets him off but there was never any proof, so I am left to try to figure out if it is true...

Hmmmm perhaps you need search farther back into his life to find your proof. I heard tell that General Calculus's name before becoming the general he is known for today was actually Matthew Mattix.

 

[midwestyankee]

They say that General Calculus was such a well rounded guy...so even...not odd at all. I heard that he was variable to handle stress until something sets him off but there was never any proof, so I am left to try to figure out if it is true...

What I derive from this (in a standard sort of way, of course) is that the aforementioned General Calculus (not to be confused with Lieutenant Callous of the Infantry) is the summation of all who have come before him.

Not to go off on a tangent or anything, but why do some people consider the pun to be aimed only at the lowest common denominator?

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I better answer that question now, MY, or alphabet about it.











DOH!!!

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I better answer that question now, MY, or alphabet about it.

So you are the grape new Puntificate ?? Vine choice, we will leaf you to it. I should warn you though, we expect a bunch of timely and ripe answers so we don't have to wine about aging...or end up turning away and feeling sour.

 

[midwestyankee]

So you are the grape new Puntificate ?? Vine choice, we will leaf you to it. I should warn you though, we expect a bunch of timely and ripe answers so we don't have to wine about aging...or end up turning away and feeling sour.

As they used to say about Iowa, we will eat no swine before its time.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Hmmmm perhaps you need search farther back into his life to find your proof. I heard tell that General Calculus's name before becoming the general he is known for today was actually Matthew Mattix.

Wait, his name was Matt? Really, is that a flat? I am floored!

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

As they used to say about Iowa, we will eat no swine before its time.

Ah, there is the rib. I don't want to pink on him or bust any chops...so we will have to figure this snout together, kosher. Shanks.

 

[midwestyankee]

Ah, there is the rib. I don't want to pink on him or bust any chops...so we will have to figure this snout together, kosher. Shanks.

I like a woman who can think meaty thoughts with a juicy mind.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I like a woman who can think meaty thoughts with a juicy mind.

To meat a ham that cuts like you is rare in steed.

 

[midwestyankee]

To meat a ham that cuts like you is rare in steed.

Fattery will get you, well, pretty much anywhere you want. And if you're doing any bacon this afternoon, might I request a tart?

 

[dearc]

I worked at the lumber yard until I got board

 

[midwestyankee]

I worked at the lumber yard until I got board

I wonder if you waited on my friend Jacques, who wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, you might say. As he tells it, he went to the lumber yard recently and had this conversation with a clerk:

Clerk: How can I help you, sir?
Jacques: You have any four by two, you?
Clerk: Yes, we have lots of two by fours. How long do you want them?
Jacques: I want 'em a long time. Gonna build me a garage.

 

[dearc]

I wanted to be a tailor but I didn't measure up.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Fattery will get you, well, pretty much anywhere you want. And if you're doing any bacon this afternoon, might I request a tart?

After baking about it, I think tart cherry kneads dough in a row.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

After baking about it, I think tart cherry kneads dough in a row.

I think that's the yeast tart cherry can dough.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I think that's the yeast tart cherry can dough.

Yeast, we can crust in that.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yeast, we can crust in that.

Be still, my beating hearth.

I'm saddened now to recall that a few years ago we said to Terri Garr, "See ya."

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Be still, my beating hearth.

I suspect you and C_in_C are trying to buckwheat the system, taking this thread oven a different direction, and maybe shortening its life.

Or are you just being rye?

 

[midwestyankee]

I suspect you and C_in_C are trying to buckwheat the system, taking this thread oven a different direction, and maybe shortening its life.

Or are you just being rye?

No, though I do enjoy getting a rise out of folks, even with words that are sometimes spelt wrong.

What no rejoinder re: Terry?

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

No, though I do enjoy getting a rise out of folks, even with words that are sometimes spelt wrong.

What no rejoinder re: Terry?

I have always hated Teri Garr. Most annoying actress on the planet. Not a grain of talent, and should be panned at every opportunity.

 

[midwestyankee]

I have always hated Teri Garr. Most annoying actress on the planet. Not a grain of talent, and should be panned at every opportunity.

There you go with more baking. What kind of pans do you use to make hot cross puns?