And now, even MORE good news

Cirrus

Literotica Guru
Joined
May 21, 2001
Posts
887
Talked to my boyfriend last night about where we want our sexual relationship to go, I guess you could say we had negotiations, although not quite, because last night's discussion was mostly about the things we want to try and less about the things we might or definitely don't want to try. That talk's coming, but basically we ended up too busy "trying" to finish the discussion. ;)

I basically told him I have a need to submit in me, a need to be taken, and that every other guy I've been with has been into a little light bondage now and then but no one would play "rough" with me, even just occasionally, for fear of hurting me...I'm a small person, 5'3-ish and 110#. I also told him about my tendency toward masochism and that I wanted to explore just what the limit was...where pleasurable pain turned into "ouch fucking stop that" pain.

But wonder of wonders, he's agreed to try it with me. He did have some reservations with causing me any kind of pain at all, because he doesn't quite understand how it can feel good to be hurt, but we'll both move at a pace that's comfortable for the other. We're going to start out with the "control fantasy", as in forcing me to do what I already want to do anyway and go from there. I think it's the engrained sociatal thing...that women aren't REALLY supposed to enjoy sex. Where as, if my hands are tied while he's fucking me, or he "forces" me to give him head, I'm not resposible for the pleasure. Lovely things we drill into the minds of our children, no?

We do have a safeword in place, though neither of us think we'll be doing anything heavy enough to need one, better safe than sorry. We didn't have any toys with us last night, but his hands sufficed. Skinny wrists are a good thing. I have my first set of REAL grip marks!!! YES!!!

Anyway, just wanted to share MY anticipation as well as I begin exploring life as my boyfriend's sub. :D
 
That is great!

Wonderful news!

I have heard the book, "Come Hither" by Gloria Brame can be helpful in terms of some of the how to stuff.

:)
 
Wonderful!

I am glad you are getting to explore things. We will be waiting to hear how things are going, if you don't mind.

Ebony
 
There's also some good stuff...

...on introducing bdsm to a vanilla partner in the book "The Loving Dominant", by John Warren, Ph.D.

Cheers;
Lance
 
My husband and I have just here lately started to try a few new things to spice up a already great sex life and we are having a good ol time. Nothing to extreme but I have received a few fun brusies here lately! You know you can put nipple clips everywhere!
 
Great news, Cirrus! I'm sure that wasn't an easy conversation to have, and congratulations to you both for being able to communicate in such a trust-building way.

A few more books that might be helpful to your boyfriend, in particular (though you might like them too, if you haven't read them already):

S&M 101 by Jay Wiseman
and two by Dossie Easton & Catherine A Liszt--When Someone You Love is Kinky and The Topping Book--or, Getting Good at Being Bad.

I hope it's a beautiful exploration for you both, and that it brings you closer together. :rose:
 
Thank you all for the comments, congrats and good wishes.

Out of something bad came something wonderful. I have been ill this last week (I posted on the Gen Board about it), and my boyfriend, now my Dom, has been wonderful. He has taken excellent care of me, above and beyond what one would normally expect from their SO.

When I asked him why he's been doing all these things, he told me that it is because he cares for me, and because I am his, he is responsible for my health, safety and well-being...in the bedroom or outside of it. That has to be one of the sweetest things I have ever heard, and makes me feel even better that I decided to trust Him with my desires.
 
Ohhhhh that is wonderful!

Hope it goes on and on for you! (((hugs)))

willow :rose:
 
Congrats Cirrus! There is nothing more exciting than to have your loved one agree to engage in your sexual desires and needs! Good luck and keep us informed.
 
I'm glad to hear the great news for yall ... just keep up the communications ....
 
Based on your comments about his care and comments during your illness, He sounds like one who will treat your submission as the treasured gift it deserves to be recognized as. May He help you to flower within it.
 
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