Talked to my boyfriend last night about where we want our sexual relationship to go, I guess you could say we had negotiations, although not quite, because last night's discussion was mostly about the things we want to try and less about the things we might or definitely don't want to try. That talk's coming, but basically we ended up too busy "trying" to finish the discussion. 
I basically told him I have a need to submit in me, a need to be taken, and that every other guy I've been with has been into a little light bondage now and then but no one would play "rough" with me, even just occasionally, for fear of hurting me...I'm a small person, 5'3-ish and 110#. I also told him about my tendency toward masochism and that I wanted to explore just what the limit was...where pleasurable pain turned into "ouch fucking stop that" pain.
But wonder of wonders, he's agreed to try it with me. He did have some reservations with causing me any kind of pain at all, because he doesn't quite understand how it can feel good to be hurt, but we'll both move at a pace that's comfortable for the other. We're going to start out with the "control fantasy", as in forcing me to do what I already want to do anyway and go from there. I think it's the engrained sociatal thing...that women aren't REALLY supposed to enjoy sex. Where as, if my hands are tied while he's fucking me, or he "forces" me to give him head, I'm not resposible for the pleasure. Lovely things we drill into the minds of our children, no?
We do have a safeword in place, though neither of us think we'll be doing anything heavy enough to need one, better safe than sorry. We didn't have any toys with us last night, but his hands sufficed. Skinny wrists are a good thing. I have my first set of REAL grip marks!!! YES!!!
Anyway, just wanted to share MY anticipation as well as I begin exploring life as my boyfriend's sub.
I basically told him I have a need to submit in me, a need to be taken, and that every other guy I've been with has been into a little light bondage now and then but no one would play "rough" with me, even just occasionally, for fear of hurting me...I'm a small person, 5'3-ish and 110#. I also told him about my tendency toward masochism and that I wanted to explore just what the limit was...where pleasurable pain turned into "ouch fucking stop that" pain.
But wonder of wonders, he's agreed to try it with me. He did have some reservations with causing me any kind of pain at all, because he doesn't quite understand how it can feel good to be hurt, but we'll both move at a pace that's comfortable for the other. We're going to start out with the "control fantasy", as in forcing me to do what I already want to do anyway and go from there. I think it's the engrained sociatal thing...that women aren't REALLY supposed to enjoy sex. Where as, if my hands are tied while he's fucking me, or he "forces" me to give him head, I'm not resposible for the pleasure. Lovely things we drill into the minds of our children, no?
We do have a safeword in place, though neither of us think we'll be doing anything heavy enough to need one, better safe than sorry. We didn't have any toys with us last night, but his hands sufficed. Skinny wrists are a good thing. I have my first set of REAL grip marks!!! YES!!!
Anyway, just wanted to share MY anticipation as well as I begin exploring life as my boyfriend's sub.
