Analogies and Metaphors - So You Think You Are Creative?

Rybka

Nit pick; pearl too!
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Jan 6, 2002
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Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides
gently compressed by a Thigh Master. --Sue Lin Chong, Washington

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. --Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a Guy
who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at
high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one
of those boxes with a pinhole in it. --Joseph Romm, Washington

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to
dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door
open again. --Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn't. --Russell Beland, Springfield

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled
with vegetable soup. --Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
"Jeopardy" comes on at 7:00p.m. instead of 7:30p.m. --Roy Ashley,
Washington

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. --Chuck
Smith, Woodbridge

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
--Russell Beland, Springfield

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access
T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by
mistake. --Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. --Unknown

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. --Jack Bross, Chevy Chase

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
them in hot grease. --Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
Cleveland at 6:36 pm, traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19
pm, at a speed of 35 mph. --Jennifer Hart, Arlington

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a
Dr Pepper can. --Wayne Goode, Madison, AL

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. --Paul Kocak, Syracuse NY

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also
never met. --Russell Beland, Springfield

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of
metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. --Barbara
Fetherolf, Alexandria

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. --
Unknown

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East
River. --Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one
that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. -- Sandra Hull,
Arlington

The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview
portion of Jeopardy! --Jean Sorensen, Herndon

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. --Jerry Pannullo, Kensington

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this
plan just might work. --Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for
a while. --Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college
freshman on $1-a-beer night. --Bonnie Speary Devore, Gaithersburg

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or
something. --John Kammer, Herndon

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell
butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. --Barbara Collier, Garrett
Park

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up. --Susan Reese, Arlington

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever
seen before. --Marian Carlsson, Lexington

The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee
(D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to
Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the
impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton. --J. F. Knowles,
Springfield

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. --Jennifer Hart, Arlington

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of
his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a
formerly surcharge-free ATM. --Paul J. Kocak, Syracuse

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric
fan set on medium. --Unknown

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power
tools. --Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a garbage truck backing up. --Susan Reese, Arlington

She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword. --Tom Witte, Gaithersburg

Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH
cleanser. --Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef. --Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
--Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation
thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened. --Sue Lin Chong,
Washington

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the
wall. --Brian Broadus, Charlottesville


Regards, Rybka
 
Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one
that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. -- Sandra Hull,
Arlington

You know, that one isn't that bad. It's carelessly written, but it could work.

Grandpappy once a mind like a steel trap, but he hadn't used it in so long it was rusted shut.

One or two others aren't too bad. Most of them are pretty damn funny though.

Were they trying to be funny? I sincerely hope so.
 
They make me smile as thought I'd just met an old friend in the middle of a city I'm visiting for the first time.

;)
- Judo
 
Good stuff

Some of these are amazing! Great thread Rybka.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. --

This one reminds me of something. It may be in the category of too much information, but I'm gonna tell it anyway.

I once wrote in a patient's chart that the color of his bowel movement was "brick red". The doctor came along and asked, "What the hell kind of description is that?" The next day I rifled through my daughter's crayon box and found the brick red one, (there is actually one called that) and took it to work with me to show the doctor. He just looked at it, shook his head, and walked off.

Sorry...just had to share that. :p

Sweetwife
 
Karmadog

Kd,
As far as I know, these are excerpts from essays written by high school students and submitted by their teachers. I don't the kids meant to be humorous. - Sad, isn't it? :(


Regards, Rybka
 
Some of these are hilarious, classic and worth stealing, especially for comedy writing. Here are my top six from the list:


6. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall. --Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

5. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. -- Sandra Hull, Arlington

4. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. --Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

3. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. --Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

2. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. --Susan Reese, Arlington

...and the number 1. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. --Susan Reese, Arlington

;)
- Judo
 
Re: Karmadog

Rybka said:
Kd,
As far as I know, these are excerpts from essays written by high school students and submitted by their teachers. I don't the kids meant to be humorous. - Sad, isn't it? :(


Regards, Rybka
It's not sad. These are kids trying to be creative. I thought it was very cute and imaginative!
 
Bulwer-Lytton

Check out the website for the annual Bulwyr-Lytton "It was a Dark and Stormy Nght" competition," a contest dedicated to wretched excess in writing.

http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

There is truely funny stuff there folks. Here are a few examples taken from the pool of past entries.

The rain splattered down on the tables of the cafe like raisins dropped by uncaring gods.
--Patricia A. Folkerth, Columbia, South Carolina

Grimelda's heart was on the ship with Lord Touchnot, but her feet were planted firmly in the soil of her native land; she felt she could not endure the pain.
--Mary Virginia Brown, Ventura, California

The surface of the strange, forbidden planet was roughly textured and green, much like cottage cheese gets way after the date on the lid says it is all right to buy it.
--Scott Davis Jones, Sausalito, California

(I love this next one.)

With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description.
--Alice A. Hall, Fort Wayne, Indiana

(And one more great one.)

The horizon coughed up the morning sun much as if Atlas had lowered the world from his mighty shoulders and given it the Heimlich maneuver.
--Bruce K. MacDonald, Scarborough, Ontario

Thanks Rybka. This is a great thread!
 
Re: Bulwer-Lytton

LOL

Those are great, Angeline! I especially like the latter two:

With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description.
--Alice A. Hall, Fort Wayne, Indiana


The horizon coughed up the morning sun much as if Atlas had lowered the world from his mighty shoulders and given it the Heimlich maneuver.
--Bruce K. MacDonald, Scarborough, Ontario

And that site has some awsome stuff too. I just skimmed through it and found this:

The controls looked normal--the beeping thing was beeping, the humming thing was humming, the blue number display was displaying blue numbers, the yellow number display was displaying yellow numbers, everything seemed OK, but the redundancy of this interplanetary trip left Col. Mountain feeling troubled, troubled like a beeping thing not beeping, or a humming thing not humming, or a blue number display not displaying blue numbers, or a yellow number display not displaying yellow numbers; nothing felt right.
--Kevin Kriss, Cedar Park, TX


Going back for more. Thanks :D
 
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