Anal gaping. How to...?

[analgirl69]

I want to be able to anal gape for my hubby because every time he watches porn, it is part of the title. It happened once on our anniversary when we fooled around for 5 hours, at least 3 of it anal and anal toys on me, and after we were done and were going to go to bed and take a break(for a few hours...lol. I was also tipsy.) I went to the bathroom, not to check that par-say, but he had came in me 3 times. Lol. I wanted to freakin see it. But I saw it gaping a bit. I went out and mentioned it to him (he had never told me before that was something he wanted but I had seen the porn) and he looked so disappointed because he never got to see it. Lol. So that was confirmation enough- he wanted to see it.

I know it has something to do with relaxing. That's pretty much it. Normally when something comes out I tense right away because I use like 10 enemas before hand (is this bad to do every day by the way? Cause I do. and I've wondered.. but they are only just tap water.. off topic.) and once in a very blue moon left over water leaks out and makes an unattractive noise, so I dread it. It happens so rarely (maybe 1 out of 70 or something like that and it's bound to happen when you have anal almost every day. He doesn't care. But I really really do.) but it scares me nonetheless so I am afraid of it happening if I let it gape afterwards.
Will that happen? And how do I actually DO it? I'm getting a 2.5 inch width plug (size of a coke can)- will that help it happen even if I am not totally relaxed? I want to please him.

Thanks.

 

[juiceyjuice]

As he is fucking your ass have him pull out . Thats usually where the gaping comes in. Ill fuck my girls ass for awhile and when i pull out i grab the cheeks and she is nice and gaped. ( a lil spit for a reward and some lube and i plunge my cock back in and keep on pounding! )

Thats what works for us ! Im going to go wake her up from her nap and gape her a bit right now i think .

Good luck hun ! ( Pics? ;-)

 

[SweetErika]

No, you should not be doing enemas daily. An occasional enema is fine, but if you do them too often, you'll screw up your gut's ability to function properly. That entails washing the good bacteria out of your gut (thus messing with your immune system and bowel functions), and like overuse of laxatives, too many enemas can make your gut "lazy" so it'll be difficult to have healthy bowel movements. And those healthy bowel movements are critical to preventing diseases like colon cancer.

If you're this into anal and enemas, I'd strongly suggest checking in with a gastroenterologist to see what your best bet is for doing things safely. S/he should be able to give you a better idea of how frequently you can safely use enemas and any potential consequences of your practices.

 

[Rainbow_dash]

This is very true, i usually do it twice a day (before and after) if I'm gonna be partying. otherwise a healthy diet and a little old school prep are the only ways to stay clean. if someone can't give you 10 or 15 in the toilet to ready yourself then forget them. i've put on lingerie that took longer than a quick enema before fucking.


but if you wanna gape, get an inflatable butt plug - experiment, and relax.

 

[rbone04]

SweetErika is right... Too many enemas can wreak havoc on your body's. Natural flora and can take months (and possibliy medical attention) to be restored. The end result will end up taking away any possibility of desire for anal sex for quite some time. Besides, your standard procedure for anal sex prep - even without an enema - should suffice for gaping, as your sphincter muscles have more to do with it than anything else (check the sticky manual if you need more advice for that).

As for the actual gaping itself, you are right... relaxation is a key element. A lot of it depends on the person to. Not everyone can leave their asshole 2 inches wide-open no matter how relaxed they are.

The only way I can explain the way I do it is by using your sphincter muscles to control air flow in and out of your anus. By that, I mean if you are relaxed enough and can use your fingers or a small toy to penetrate and allow for the passage of air into your anus. Like a backwards fart, for lack of better words.

They hard part is understanding how to relax and contract the sphincter muscles so that you create kind of a vacuum with your ass to "suck" the air in. It is easier to do this if you've had a plug or other object inside for several minutes so that the deeper muscles get used to being held open...

Remember there is another set deeper past those controlling the anal opening, and these are typically still shut fairly tight, even if you feel the rest of the involved muscles are very relaxed. It will take some concentration and practice to figure out how to control the inner sphincter, but when you relax enough after they have adapted to being separated by an object, they will relax enough so that they open just enough to let air in. Once this happens, your ass will actually draw the air in and open you up more.

It is a misconception that a huge toy is necessary to achieve a gaping backside. In fact, ever since I got the hang of it, I can get my ass to open up without inserting anything prior. It's not like my asshole is constantly loose, but I can relax to the point where the inner muscles separate just enough to create that backwards air flow and maybe a little "baby gape".

Obviously you can make it larger with such objects, but you'll probably need to learn the mechanics on a "small scale" first. Some patience and practice is required at first. After that, the concept is the same and you can work up to as big a toy as you can handle. Good luck.

 

[rbone04]

Oh and I assume you be on your hands and knees if you are letting him see your asshole gaping (which is the easiest position to achieve if anyways), so why worry about a little water or other fluid escaping? Gravity will keep it all safe and sound inside your body. Just remember to "close the door" before you stand up.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Some things I can't unread.

 

[rbone04]

Some things I can't unread.

The important thing is you learned something. In case of emergency, now you know.

 

[Lord Pmann]

The important thing is you learned something. In case of emergency, now you know.

In the event of an emergency where my anus is gaping... I've got a whole load of problems at that point and this knowledge will not help me.

 

[analgirl69]

Oh and I assume you be on your hands and knees if you are letting him see your asshole gaping (which is the easiest position to achieve if anyways), so why worry about a little water or other fluid escaping? Gravity will keep it all safe and sound inside your body. Just remember to "close the door" before you stand up.

Hands and knees is when I have the occasional water problem.. So although I like that position best, I have been avoiding it.. :/ So gravity has not worked in my favour. Very nervous about this..

 

[analgirl69]

As he is fucking your ass have him pull out . Thats usually where the gaping comes in. Ill fuck my girls ass for awhile and when i pull out i grab the cheeks and she is nice and gaped. ( a lil spit for a reward and some lube and i plunge my cock back in and keep on pounding! )

Thats what works for us ! Im going to go wake her up from her nap and gape her a bit right now i think .

Good luck hun ! ( Pics? ;-)

I'll try that. Always tense up when he pulls out though. :/ I'm very anal about cleanliness (pardon the pun.) and I have always been very paranoid about mess, even after enemas.

 

[analgirl69]

No, you should not be doing enemas daily. An occasional enema is fine, but if you do them too often, you'll screw up your gut's ability to function properly. That entails washing the good bacteria out of your gut (thus messing with your immune system and bowel functions), and like overuse of laxatives, too many enemas can make your gut "lazy" so it'll be difficult to have healthy bowel movements. And those healthy bowel movements are critical to preventing diseases like colon cancer.

If you're this into anal and enemas, I'd strongly suggest checking in with a gastroenterologist to see what your best bet is for doing things safely. S/he should be able to give you a better idea of how frequently you can safely use enemas and any potential consequences of your practices.

Such an awkward thing to talk to someone about in real life. I only recently even talked to my best friend about it. :/

 

[analgirl69]

This is very true, i usually do it twice a day (before and after) if I'm gonna be partying. otherwise a healthy diet and a little old school prep are the only ways to stay clean. if someone can't give you 10 or 15 in the toilet to ready yourself then forget them. i've put on lingerie that took longer than a quick enema before fucking.


but if you wanna gape, get an inflatable butt plug - experiment, and relax.

But it doesn't seem enough. I am very VERY self-conscious when it comes to being perfectly clean. I mean, I only eat fruits and veggies and lean meats 90% of the time and fiver infused cereal, etc. I am a health freak. But that makes me go to the bathroom more often and it's runnier, so I am always too worried to not do an enema first. (TMI..very, very sorry. Lol.)

 

[analgirl69]

SweetErika is right... Too many enemas can wreak havoc on your body's. Natural flora and can take months (and possibliy medical attention) to be restored. The end result will end up taking away any possibility of desire for anal sex for quite some time. Besides, your standard procedure for anal sex prep - even without an enema - should suffice for gaping, as your sphincter muscles have more to do with it than anything else (check the sticky manual if you need more advice for that).

As for the actual gaping itself, you are right... relaxation is a key element. A lot of it depends on the person to. Not everyone can leave their asshole 2 inches wide-open no matter how relaxed they are.

The only way I can explain the way I do it is by using your sphincter muscles to control air flow in and out of your anus. By that, I mean if you are relaxed enough and can use your fingers or a small toy to penetrate and allow for the passage of air into your anus. Like a backwards fart, for lack of better words.

They hard part is understanding how to relax and contract the sphincter muscles so that you create kind of a vacuum with your ass to "suck" the air in. It is easier to do this if you've had a plug or other object inside for several minutes so that the deeper muscles get used to being held open...

Remember there is another set deeper past those controlling the anal opening, and these are typically still shut fairly tight, even if you feel the rest of the involved muscles are very relaxed. It will take some concentration and practice to figure out how to control the inner sphincter, but when you relax enough after they have adapted to being separated by an object, they will relax enough so that they open just enough to let air in. Once this happens, your ass will actually draw the air in and open you up more.

It is a misconception that a huge toy is necessary to achieve a gaping backside. In fact, ever since I got the hang of it, I can get my ass to open up without inserting anything prior. It's not like my asshole is constantly loose, but I can relax to the point where the inner muscles separate just enough to create that backwards air flow and maybe a little "baby gape".

Obviously you can make it larger with such objects, but you'll probably need to learn the mechanics on a "small scale" first. Some patience and practice is required at first. After that, the concept is the same and you can work up to as big a toy as you can handle. Good luck.

So I can try this alone first. That's good. Probably will make me feel more comfortable with it. Thanks.

 

[analgirl69]

Some things I can't unread.

Hahaha sorry you had to read it. You should avoid my threads. Lol.

 

[mrtomthumb]

I think all this extra worry could be part of the fun for you maybe?

like you know what an asshole is made for and this desire to be 100 percent clean always when having extreme anal sex daily....is allot of extra pressure on yourself..

it does not stop you or seem to bother your partner so I would say just chill about it..

if it is a part of the taboo factor that gets you off then by all means..

continue as you were..

 

[SweetErika]

But it doesn't seem enough. I am very VERY self-conscious when it comes to being perfectly clean. I mean, I only eat fruits and veggies and lean meats 90% of the time and fiver infused cereal, etc. I am a health freak. But that makes me go to the bathroom more often and it's runnier, so I am always too worried to not do an enema first. (TMI..very, very sorry. Lol.)

The excessive enemas may very well be causing the runnier poop. Ideal bowel movements are soft enough to form an 'S' shape, but firm enough to hold their shape, and fairly long. They indicate the colon is being cleaned out properly and one has a healthy lifestyle.

I'd suggest stopping the enemas and starting probiotics. See if that changes your bowel movements over time (like rbone said, it could take months to regain a balance of the flora in your system). Your kidneys will thank you, too - pushing too much water through your body with enemas can stress them out as well.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Hahaha sorry you had to read it. You should avoid my threads. Lol.

I know, but for some reason I keep reading. What the hell?

 

[LettersFromTatyana]

I have to ask: what does your husband say about all of this?

Does he know how freaked out about messes you are? Does he share your feelings? Does he know how often you are doing enemas? Has he done any research on the potential downsides of this? Have you talked to him about what you're reading on this thread?

Yes, it's your body. Yes, you deserve to be comfortable with your sex life.

But you're kinda sorta his other half, you know? When it comes to sex, in addition to keeping yourselves and each other happy, I think you each have shared responsibility to keep both of you healthy.

 

[analgirl69]

I think all this extra worry could be part of the fun for you maybe?

like you know what an asshole is made for and this desire to be 100 percent clean always when having extreme anal sex daily....is allot of extra pressure on yourself..

it does not stop you or seem to bother your partner so I would say just chill about it..

if it is a part of the taboo factor that gets you off then by all means..

continue as you were..

It actually is a major major turn off for me. I didn't enjoy anal for a long time because of it. Before the enema, I hated it. I always got hurt because I tightened up fearing any mess or noises. Now, if I have a vibrator on me, it distracts my worry and allows me to relax a little more so I don't get hurt and actually enjoy it. This is actually a worry of mine with fisting. I'm worried I will involuntarily clench out of this fear and get hurt. I will obviously use the bullet, but I'm worried it won't be enough. I think I'm going to drink first to relax. Wondering if that's a bad idea?

 

[analgirl69]

I know, but for some reason I keep reading. What the hell?

You probably never watched it, but there was a movie called ED TV. They described that as the rolling head syndrome. After an accident or whatever on tv, you don't want to watch cus it's gross, a freakin' head is rolling down the street, but you do anyway cus you just can't tear your eyes away. Lol. It's like the scary parts of a movie. You cover your eyes with your hand but part the fingers so you can see anyway.

 

[analgirl69]

The excessive enemas may very well be causing the runnier poop. Ideal bowel movements are soft enough to form an 'S' shape, but firm enough to hold their shape, and fairly long. They indicate the colon is being cleaned out properly and one has a healthy lifestyle.

I'd suggest stopping the enemas and starting probiotics. See if that changes your bowel movements over time (like rbone said, it could take months to regain a balance of the flora in your system). Your kidneys will thank you, too - pushing too much water through your body with enemas can stress them out as well.

They are pretty much never S shaped. Even before the enemas. I probably honestly have too much fiber. But that is something I don't want to change because that would entail less fruits, veggies, etc, and I don't want to gain weight to have better anal sex. Lol.

 

[analgirl69]

I have to ask: what does your husband say about all of this?

Does he know how freaked out about messes you are? Does he share your feelings? Does he know how often you are doing enemas? Has he done any research on the potential downsides of this? Have you talked to him about what you're reading on this thread?

Yes, it's your body. Yes, you deserve to be comfortable with your sex life.

But you're kinda sorta his other half, you know? When it comes to sex, in addition to keeping yourselves and each other happy, I think you each have shared responsibility to keep both of you healthy.

1a) Yes and no. He knows I'm paranoid about mess, because, well, I have ocd and I'm like that with most things. He does not always understand the extent. When I get paranoid in the middle once in a blue moon because something felt weird and I have to stop, he doesn't seem to get why and pressures me for an answer.. well, I don't want to say why and kill the mood so I say it hurt and bit and run to the bathroom to check all is good.
1b) I think he appreciates the cleanliness, just like he appreciates my commitment to always having my hair and makeup perfect every moment of every day as well as always shaved and bathed every day, but does he think it's necessary? No. Yet he doesn't want me to touch his bum even though he likes the feeling a bit (I can tell, but he won't openly admit it) because HE is afraid of mess. So there you go, right? If he was in my shoes, I think he would feel the same way. But he often says to just skip the enema, he doesn't really care but that is assuming all is magically perfectly clean in an area that for all intents and purposes was not really meant for what we are using it for.. it's not it's job to be perfectly clean and ready to go when I want it to be. That's up to me. I can't assume it will be.

2) He does know, and it worries him. He wants me to do them less. But like I've told him, if he wants anal often, it's what I have to do. We don't have anal every day any more, but we have the potential to since we have sex almost every day and at the very least, he probably wants to stick his finger in there, so daily enema it is. Just in case. I am the same way with oral, honestly. I will shave every day and bath at least once but often more just in case so I don't hate it if he does it and we only do that once every few months. I just never know when it will be and he gets annoyed if I tell him I don't feel comfortable. Same with anal- what a mood killer if I have to leave part way through foreplay. ANd then the enema doesn't have time to fully come out either.

3) He hasn't done any research. I don't think he honestly researches anything to do with anything important because he knows I am obsessive enough to do it for him. Lol. He knows I probably know the answers so he doesn't worry about it or asks me if he is curious.

4) Haven't talked to him about what I am reading in this thread really. I don't think he particularly cares. He knows I go to find answers, and that's good enough for him because then he doesn't have to worry about it.

I am pretty open with him but no one really wants to talk about stuff like this. We did actually a few days ago a bit because 1) he wanted me to wear a decent sized, not huge but decent, plug out to dinner under my skirt which I did, but was nervous and 2) because we were talking about fisting and really big plugs and I said I was worried about mess. He's very good about it. That doesn't make me less squeamish.

Sorry for the long post! :/

 

[LettersFromTatyana]

There's a lot in your response--and thanks for the long response--but I'll choose to focus in these points.

4) Haven't talked to him about what I am reading in this thread really. I don't think he particularly cares.

We aren't talking about a sex issue, like how you can get a better orgasm or if there's a longer-lasting lube out there or something like that. We're talking about a health issue. Maybe I'm projecting from my own relationship (and the relationships I see around me with my friends and family), but health is something you typically share with your partner, unless you have a damn good reason not to. It's part of that entire commitment you made to take care of each other in sickness and in health, you know? Not to mention the fact that you don't typically marry someone unless you love and care for them, so chances are he loves and cares for you, and therefore cares about your health.

So, you know, he might actually care about this.

He knows I go to find answers, and that's good enough for him because then he doesn't have to worry about it.

Perhaps he doesn't worry about it because he's trusting that you are making informed decisions about your body and health based on what you learn. As others have pointed out, you might be causing some damage. If he were read this and then see how you continue with daily enemas, do you think he'd agree that you were making rational, informed decisions?

I am pretty open with him but no one really wants to talk about stuff like this.

For goodness sake, he is sticking his hand up your ass. There should be some sort of rule about not being able to stick your hand up someone else's ass unless you can talk about shit (pun intended ).

Maybe I'm wrong--and hey, maybe someone else can let me know if I'm making giant assumptions here--but if he really is a decent guy who cares about you, then he'll want to talk about this, and he won't want your sex life to potentially cause health problems.



In the interests of full disclosure, I'll admit that I've made my mistakes in this area, which is probably why it's bothering me so much. I ended up bleeding quite a bit from something we did. It was right before he went away on a trip, so he didn't know about it. And I didn't tell him.

And when it happened again (because it inevitably did), he was furious when I admitted that it had happened before, and that I'd made the decision not to tell him.

It was a major violation of trust between us, and something I still can't believe I did. Not only was I messing with my health (knowing full well that I'm pretty much his favorite adult, and choosing to disregard that fact), but I let him unintentionally hurt me that second time.

He felt awful about hurting me, not once but twice. I felt awful about withholding information from him, and for violating his trust. It was all-around awfulness.

Please don't make the same mistake.

 

[analgirl69]

There's a lot in your response--and thanks for the long response--but I'll choose to focus in these points.



We aren't talking about a sex issue, like how you can get a better orgasm or if there's a longer-lasting lube out there or something like that. We're talking about a health issue. Maybe I'm projecting from my own relationship (and the relationships I see around me with my friends and family), but health is something you typically share with your partner, unless you have a damn good reason not to. It's part of that entire commitment you made to take care of each other in sickness and in health, you know? Not to mention the fact that you don't typically marry someone unless you love and care for them, so chances are he loves and cares for you, and therefore cares about your health.

So, you know, he might actually care about this.



Perhaps he doesn't worry about it because he's trusting that you are making informed decisions about your body and health based on what you learn. As others have pointed out, you might be causing some damage. If he were read this and then see how you continue with daily enemas, do you think he'd agree that you were making rational, informed decisions?



For goodness sake, he is sticking his hand up your ass. There should be some sort of rule about not being able to stick your hand up someone else's ass unless you can talk about shit (pun intended ).

Maybe I'm wrong--and hey, maybe someone else can let me know if I'm making giant assumptions here--but if he really is a decent guy who cares about you, then he'll want to talk about this, and he won't want your sex life to potentially cause health problems.



In the interests of full disclosure, I'll admit that I've made my mistakes in this area, which is probably why it's bothering me so much. I ended up bleeding quite a bit from something we did. It was right before he went away on a trip, so he didn't know about it. And I didn't tell him.

And when it happened again (because it inevitably did), he was furious when I admitted that it had happened before, and that I'd made the decision not to tell him.

It was a major violation of trust between us, and something I still can't believe I did. Not only was I messing with my health (knowing full well that I'm pretty much his favorite adult, and choosing to disregard that fact), but I let him unintentionally hurt me that second time.

He felt awful about hurting me, not once but twice. I felt awful about withholding information from him, and for violating his trust. It was all-around awfulness.

Please don't make the same mistake.

Oh, sorry, I don't mean he doesn't care about the health aspect- he just doesn't care if I go searching on threads to look about it. Or to look it up himself. If he has a question, he asks me.

He does know about the daily enemas, and like I said, he doesn't approve. But it's either that or I don't want to have anal very often. And therein lies the problem- I don't like to say no or deprive him of things I know he enjoys so I could never forgo the anal sex, so enemas it is. I really really don't know what else to do. What's worse? An enema daily or tearing really bad because I can't relax worrying about what's going on back there? I'd rather not have tearing, prolapse, fissures....

Typically, no, he doesn't want to talk about this, but we do sometimes when he worries. Yes, he is very worried about the enemas and he does worry about the effects on anal sex too. He is also worried about fisting and toys.. which is one big reason (besides embarrassment) that he never mentioned it to me in the first place- I discovered this was something he really really wanted on my own.

I know where you are coming from. I did the same thing, having anal with him 2 weeks after delivering our baby having had an episiotomy. It was so horrible- it hurt worse than the first times we had anal. I figured he knew how bad it hurt because I was crying but I guess he was in his own little world when it was happening and didn't realize. He wasn't really mad at me though.. I often allow myself to be hurt or neglected(emotionally or physically) for other people's benefits- he knew this when he married me, so it shouldn't be a surprise. It's not a violation of trust between us- just something that makes him sad when he finds out I did it again. I don't like to tell him when something hurts or he hurts me unless I absolutely can't handle it. I know it's wrong, I'm sure you will tell me I am, but things always seem different when they are happening than the afterthought when you look back and think "what the hell was I thinking?"

Sorry if this is written badly or scattered...my baby has entered the "I love my voice and isn't it fun to happily scream? " stage. Hard to think. Lol.