An older ex-lover of mine wants to start hanging out with my best friend

[Ms_Lilith]

he's been talking about her since the three of us went to lunch a few months ago.

I'm on the island, they're both on the mainland. She's 20, he's 48. She'd never go for it, but it bugs me that he's so interested.

 

[Olivianna]

Ugh. About 4 years ago, my former roommate/so-called friend started hanging out with a recent ex-boyfriend with whom I'd had a not-so-clean break-up. I suspected that more than friendly stuff was going on and she denied it - though she did confess that I was correct in my suspicions eventually - that is, 8 months later. Needless to say, our friendship went down the tube (to be revived months later, only to die a slow death months after that). Friends should stay away from the recent ex-boyfriends of their friends, and ex-boyfriends should do the same....and if they can't control it (whatever), then they should at least be honest. Sorry about your situation - it can really suck.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

she's not interested at all. She likes her men young.

But.. he just.. bah. He keeps asking if I'd mind if they hung out.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Unless it's a fairly recent break-up, I don't see that it's all that big of a deal. Am I missing something?

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Unless it's a fairly recent break-up, I don't see that it's all that big of a deal. Am I missing something?

He and I never dated, we just fucked. But... we parted against my will. Y'see, different circumstances keep us apart, and one of them is that he's not interested in me anymore... while I'm still interested in him.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

and it's the whole thing that I'm constantly having guys who are interested in me before they meet her, leave me for her AFTER they meet her. None of them gets anywhere with her, cus she thinks guys like that are stupid, but it still hurts, y'know?

 

[Calamity Jane]

He and I never dated, we just fucked. But... we parted against my will. Y'see, different circumstances keep us apart, and one of them is that he's not interested in me anymore... while I'm still interested in him.

Ohhhhh. Well, that's different, isn't it.

Tell him the truth.. that yes, in fact, it would bug you if the two of them were to hang out.

I'm curious though... are you maintaining a friendship with him in the hopes that you can hook back up, or just to torture yourself everytime he's interested in someone?

 

[Calamity Jane]

and it's the whole thing that I'm constantly having guys who are interested in me before they meet her, leave me for her AFTER they meet her. None of them gets anywhere with her, cus she thinks guys like that are stupid, but it still hurts, y'know?

Ahhh... but isn't it handy to have an idiot filter like that?

I know it hurts Vix... I've been there. But, at least you know the guys are assholes before you're head over heels.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Ohhhhh. Well, that's different, isn't it.

Tell him the truth.. that yes, in fact, it would bug you if the two of them were to hang out.

I'm curious though... are you maintaining a friendship with him in the hopes that you can hook back up, or just to torture yourself everytime he's interested in someone?

Oh I don't care if he hooks up with other people. I love this guy's company as a friend (he just happened to be a great lover, and a cool person), and having a friendship with him has been really fulfilling... I often hear about his escapades, and I find most of them fun to listen to. It's just the whole "going after my best friend" thing. That always bugs me if there was a previous interest in me.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Ahhh... but isn't it handy to have an idiot filter like that?

I know it hurts Vix... I've been there. But, at least you know the guys are assholes before you're head over heels.

This is true.

But yes, it still sucks.

Sometimes, you realize just how shallow people are. Don't get me wrong, my best friend is beautiful! But.. after seeing her, I guess I just don't measure up to them anymore...

*shrug*

 

[CoolidgEffect]

Ahhh... but isn't it handy to have an idiot filter like that?

Exactly what I thought. Pass them through the filter quickly and save a lot of time and sorrow.

 

[StrawberryPez]

Honey, we can't keep all of the men we want on leashes and pull them in whenever we want. It'd be fun, but we can't. If your friend isn't interested at all, maybe you should let them hang out and she will turn him down. Then being your friend, he will come to you for comfort and then...POUNCE...er um.. be a good friend Whichever suits you best. Either way, I think you will be fine sweetie. Life throws us curveballs all the time, you just have to know how to dodge them before getting hurt.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Pezzie, what a beautiful av.

 

[Guest]

If he's not interested in you like that anymore then get over it.