An apology

[laurel-marie]

I should have made this my first post here but better late then never.
It is for things I might have said and for things in the future I might say that comes across as belittling or misunderstanding or even unrespectful to dominantes, submissives, males, and females, as well as to the BDSM lifestyle.
I apologize.

It is not intended.
I wont go into all the whys(to long and dull a story) but will pass it off as unexperience in the lifestyle and in relationships.
My questions might come off as tedious but that is because I have only online to ask them.
My responses might be askew or simple minded because I have only one experience to draw from (Not a good sampling to base a response on).
And lastly, by not speaking much in real life, my posts might not be as articulate as they should be, It seems alot gets lost from mind to hand.

This is not intended as a woe-is-me thread.
Merely as a sorry, excuse me, oops didn't-mean-that-the-way-it-sounded thread.

 

[shy slave]

I should have made this my first post here but better late then never.
It is for things I might have said and for things in the future I might say that comes across as belittling or misunderstanding or even unrespectful to dominantes, submissives, males, and females, as well as to the BDSM lifestyle.
I apologize.

It is not intended.
I wont go into all the whys(to long and dull a story) but will pass it off as unexperience in the lifestyle and in relationships.
My questions might come off as tedious but that is because I have only online to ask them.
My responses might be askew or simple minded because I have only one experience to draw from (Not a good sampling to base a response on).
And lastly, by not speaking much in real life, my posts might not be as articulate as they should be, It seems alot gets lost from mind to hand.

This is not intended as a woe-is-me thread.
Merely as a sorry, excuse me, oops didn't-mean-that-the-way-it-sounded thread.

This post appears to have been written because of something that has happened in a thread somewhere. I don't know which thread (don't tell anyone but i don't actually read them all!), but i do know that most people here are fairly resilient, so if you have offended anyone they will ignore it as it is of no consequence in the scheme of life or they will tell you.

I am not trying to belittle your apology but i am not sure you need to apologise for your inexperience, otherwise we will have to form an orderly queue!

As for tedious questions, I have been asking them for over a year now and people still answer, how can we learn if we don't ask.
Often people aske the one question that no-one else dared to, which enhances great discussion and information sharing.

Inexperienced or not I liked your comments on Jasonlfs 'romance and being Domly' thread.

Of course you have tweaked my guilt button and I am wondering if I should apologise for my spelling and grammer, especially as I have no excuse, as english is my first and only language...

 

[catalina_francisco]

Don't worry too much. Unfortunately as most of us discover, we are all human, we do all have opinions, and we will at some time or another be either taken the wrong way or say something that upsets another....unless we choose to just post light messages which then limits your interaction. Sometimes it is the mood of the other person on the day, sometimes it is a trigger topic or opinion that sets things off, and sometimes it is just the limitations of communicating in this context through a screen. Most will get over any issues and take them for what they are, freedom of expression and speech, others will choose to hold a grudge and either avoid or attack at random....either way, try not to let it stiffle your posts or presenting of thoughts and experiences because it is how we all grow and learn from each other. Even the most experienced do not have all the answers for all the people.

Catalina

 

[laurel-marie]

This post appears to have been written because of something that has happened in a thread somewhere. I don't know which thread (don't tell anyone but i don't actually read them all!), but i do know that most people here are fairly resilient, so if you have offended anyone they will ignore it as it is of no consequence in the scheme of life or they will tell you.

I am not trying to belittle your apology but i am not sure you need to apologise for your inexperience, otherwise we will have to form an orderly queue!

As for tedious questions, I have been asking them for over a year now and people still answer, how can we learn if we don't ask.
Often people aske the one question that no-one else dared to, which enhances great discussion and information sharing.

Inexperienced or not I liked your comments on Jasonlfs 'romance and being Domly' thread.

Of course you have tweaked my guilt button and I am wondering if I should apologise for my spelling and grammer, especially as I have no excuse, as english is my first and only language...

Luckly, what brought the above apology did not happen in a thread, but it did get me thinking which led to worrying, maybe I angered others here by my actions. So I made a public apology....actually it was a selfish act because it made me feel better.

You are right about asking questions. I am a firm believer in ask to expand ones knowledge....my problem is I give that advice much better then following it. I am also thankful of those who have asked questions here, usually it is something I either have never heard of or need more info on.

Thanks for the reassurance (hmmm, maybe that's reassurence, my spelling and grammer also needs tweaking)

 

[laurel-marie]

Don't worry too much. Unfortunately as most of us discover, we are all human, we do all have opinions, and we will at some time or another be either taken the wrong way or say something that upsets another....unless we choose to just post light messages which then limits your interaction. Sometimes it is the mood of the other person on the day, sometimes it is a trigger topic or opinion that sets things off, and sometimes it is just the limitations of communicating in this context through a screen. Most will get over any issues and take them for what they are, freedom of expression and speech, others will choose to hold a grudge and either avoid or attack at random....either way, try not to let it stiffle your posts or presenting of thoughts and experiences because it is how we all grow and learn from each other. Even the most experienced do not have all the answers for all the people.

Catalina

Thank you for the advice.
I have actually given myself lectures on the above points over time....not all have sunk in and taken root though and need to be repounded in.
Hopefully I will not let anything that happens here stiffle my thoughts, opinions, and questions, because I not only am learning from what others post but from my own thoughts also.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

<Snippage here and there to save monitor space without losing much of the sense of things>
It is for things I might have said and for things in the future I might say that comes across as belittling or misunderstanding or even unrespectful to dominantes, submissives, males, and females, as well as to the BDSM lifestyle.
I apologize. It is not intended. I ... will pass it off as unexperience in the lifestyle and in relationships. My questions might come off as tedious but that is because I have only online to ask them. My responses might be askew or simple minded because I have only one experience to draw from...And lastly, by not speaking much in real life, my posts might not be as articulate as they should be, it seems a lot gets lost from mind to hand.
This is ... merely ... a sorry, excuse me, oops didn't-mean-that-the-way-it-sounded thread.

I haven't noted much, if anything, in your posts that would trigger an apology of this sort, but if you feel it's necessary and makes you feel better, cool beans.

I'll also agree with the majority of shy's and cat's comments, and add this: Unless you try to be "belittling or misunderstanding or even unrespectful" or insulting, if someone gets a bug up their ass, handle it with the comment I most usually make to myself about that sort of thing - "Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck."

 

[shy slave]

I haven't noted much, if anything, in your posts that would trigger an apology of this sort, but if you feel it's necessary and makes you feel better, cool beans.

I'll also agree with the majority of shy's and cat's comments, and add this: Unless you try to be "belittling or misunderstanding or even unrespectful" or insulting, if someone gets a bug up their ass, handle it with the comment I most usually make to myself about that sort of thing - "Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck."

Laurel If Sir_W hasnt commented on your spelling yet, then you have no worries at all lol

Actually I only make speling mistakes as an attention seeking device.

Really, its true !!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Laurel, If Sir_W hasnt commented on your spelling yet, then you have no worries at all. lol

Actually I only make speling mistakes as an attention seeking device.

Really, it's true!!

LOL! Actually, I'm cutting back on comments about spelling, grammar, etc., since the Language Nazi thread seems to have died an untimely death... but I have been known to quietly correct a spelling or two, or a missing comma, apostrophe or other punctuation, when I quote someone's post, just in the hope they'll notice and make a mental note.

Az fahr az yer mekking speeling airers az un atenshun ceking divyce, Eye fine thet harrd too beleeve.

Prowd grajuet: Hookt ahn fonix werkt fer mi!
Fluent reader of typo-nese, too.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I should have made this my first post here but better late then never.
It is for things I might have said and for things in the future I might say that comes across as belittling or misunderstanding or even un respectful to dominants, submissives, males, and females, as well as to the BDSM lifestyle.
I apologize.

It is not intended.
I wont go into all the whys(to long and dull a story) but will pass it off as unexperience in the lifestyle and in relationships.
My questions might come off as tedious but that is because I have only online to ask them.
My responses might be askew or simple minded because I have only one experience to draw from (Not a good sampling to base a response on).
And lastly, by not speaking much in real life, my posts might not be as articulate as they should be, It seems alot gets lost from mind to hand.

This is not intended as a woe-is-me thread.
Merely as a sorry, excuse me, oops didn't-mean-that-the-way-it-sounded thread.

uhmmmm so who ya appologizin to?

 

[babiesmiles]

I'm new on here as well , rather unexperienced about lot of items which are discussed on the board plus with evident difficulties of expression in plain English that makes my posts quite surreal and often incomprehensible, so often easy to misunderstand .

But I don't give up , I read , I think , I try to keep me informed and sometimes when I feel in my brave mood I try to give my contribution to the speechs going on here .

That because , a part occasional disagreements among people , which in my opinion are absolutely normal in a community made of people with different thinking heads and points of view ( thank God!) , I have found here a generally friendly and understanding environment . And I must say this is even more valuable since the delicacy and the emotional involvement related to the most part of the issues we talk about , which often are very personal and based on one's real life background.

All above to tell Laurel Marie that all of us can be occasionally too strong and impetuos in affirming our opinions and beliefs being sometimes too sensitive about some of the speechs which are debated, but that just because they often are an essential part of the journey which took we here and made us to be the person we are or would like to be.

Although I must say , that a part few occasions, I've always seen a great amount of respect for others' opinions and freedom of speech besides a true will of more experienced people to help who (like me for exemple) is still new , and it makes , at least for me, this little corner of the net a place where I like to come , to stay and listen to people , trying to learn, compare and share thoughts and ( why not ? ) also have some laugh .

Sorry as usual for spelling and grammar mistakes ( Language Nazi close your eyes please )

 

[sincerely_helene]

I have been known to quietly correct a spelling or two, or a missing comma, apostrophe or other punctuation, when I quote someone's post, just in the hope they'll notice and make a mental note.

Actually, that always kind of got me hot, in a naughty school girl/strict, English teacher sort of way. We ought to get you a strap.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Actually, that always kind of got me hot, in a naughty school girl/strict English teacher sort of way. We ought to get you a strap.

Thanks.... but I have one. Actually, a couple.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Thanks.... but I have one. Actually, a couple.

Pant, pant.

 

[laurel-marie]

I haven't noted much, if anything, in your posts that would trigger an apology of this sort, but if you feel it's necessary and makes you feel better, cool beans.
<snip>

Thank you and it did make me feel better. I find it therapeutic to write and would have just written it down then deleted it. You see the apology wasn't to the one who complained. He went about it in a very jerky way and doesn't require an apology. It was written just incase his complaint had some truth and others felt as he did.

 

[laurel-marie]

LOL! Actually, I'm cutting back on comments about spelling, grammar, etc., since the Language Nazi thread seems to have died an untimely death... but I have been known to quietly correct a spelling or two, or a missing comma, apostrophe or other punctuation, when I quote someone's post, just in the hope they'll notice and make a mental note.

Az fahr az yer mekking speeling airers az un atenshun ceking divyce, Eye fine thet harrd too beleeve.

Prowd grajuet: Hookt ahn fonix werkt fer mi!
Fluent reader of typo-nese, too.

Cutting back is good. Very good.

It's funny, when I go over my kids papers, I can spot misspellings or grammer errors right away, but when it comes to my own writing, I don't see them. Grrrr...

 

[laurel-marie]

I'm new on here as well , rather unexperienced about lot of items which are discussed on the board plus with evident difficulties of expression in plain English that makes my posts quite surreal and often incomprehensible, so often easy to misunderstand .

But I don't give up , I read , I think , I try to keep me informed and sometimes when I feel in my brave mood I try to give my contribution to the speechs going on here .

That because , a part occasional disagreements among people , which in my opinion are absolutely normal in a community made of people with different thinking heads and points of view ( thank God!) , I have found here a generally friendly and understanding environment . And I must say this is even more valuable since the delicacy and the emotional involvement related to the most part of the issues we talk about , which often are very personal and based on one's real life background.

All above to tell Laurel Marie that all of us can be occasionally too strong and impetuos in affirming our opinions and beliefs being sometimes too sensitive about some of the speechs which are debated, but that just because they often are an essential part of the journey which took we here and made us to be the person we are or would like to be.

Although I must say , that a part few occasions, I've always seen a great amount of respect for others' opinions and freedom of speech besides a true will of more experienced people to help who (like me for exemple) is still new , and it makes , at least for me, this little corner of the net a place where I like to come , to stay and listen to people , trying to learn, compare and share thoughts and ( why not ? ) also have some laugh .

Sorry as usual for spelling and grammar mistakes ( Language Nazi close your eyes please )

You are right in this.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

It's funny, when I go over my kid's papers, I can spot misspellings or grammar errors right away, but when it comes to my own writing, I don't see them. Grrrr...

Don't feel bad about that. One of the hardest things to do in proofreading is to see the errors in what one has just written, because we know what we meant to write, and that's what we tend to see. Our minds trick us into believing that we did what we meant to do.

 

[DustyWolfe]

You know... We are all new at some point in time. To boards, to the bdsm, etc...
The best way to learn what we feel that we need to know is ask questions, especially the tedious. The more detail we get from the feedback to our questions the more we learn. As we learn more it's easier for us to make judgement calls, opinions, assumptions.... We find things that pique our curiousity or find things that we decide we have no interest in.

So you dont speak much in real life? Make up for it here. Ask questions, post threads, respond to threads and in time, communication will be easier. I dont find anything you write to be simple minded. You are brief... Here is a quote from Hamlet (snipped because I dont remember the whole line)

Brevity is the soul of wit

So see? Sometimes I more detailed response isn't a measure of intelligence. Sometimes it takes more intelligence to come up with a short answer rather than answering in a round about way (LIKE ME!!!) lol

 

[laurel-marie]

uhmmmm so who ya appologizin to?

You
I stole the chain flogger from you when you weren't looking...na na.

 

[Kajira Callista]

You
I stole the chain flogger from you when you weren't looking...na na.

lol doesnt matter, he has two i can share.

 

[laurel-marie]

You know... We are all new at some point in time. To boards, to the bdsm, etc...
The best way to learn what we feel that we need to know is ask questions, especially the tedious. The more detail we get from the feedback to our questions the more we learn. As we learn more it's easier for us to make judgement calls, opinions, assumptions.... We find things that pique our curiousity or find things that we decide we have no interest in.

So you dont speak much in real life? Make up for it here. Ask questions, post threads, respond to threads and in time, communication will be easier. I dont find anything you write to be simple minded. You are brief... Here is a quote from Hamlet (snipped because I dont remember the whole line) So see? Sometimes I more detailed response isn't a measure of intelligence. Sometimes it takes more intelligence to come up with a short answer rather than answering in a round about way (LIKE ME!!!) lol

If only you could see the books I write before I edit and edit and edit my posts.
Thank you for the quote....I wrote it down by my computer, so it will remind me next time I worry about my lack of words.

 

[DutchDom]

If only you could see the books I write before I edit and edit and edit my posts.
Thank you for the quote....I wrote it down by my computer, so it will remind me next time I worry about my lack of words.

Got another one for you to keep in mind…
90% of communication is non-verbal.

A lot gets lost in translation.

 

[laurel-marie]

Got another one for you to keep in mind…
90% of communication is non-verbal.

A lot gets lost in translation.

Thanks

Gets me thinking of how a simple glace can either turn me into a puddle or freeze my spine.