Amusing phone sex experiences......

[Kurmudgeon]

There was one woman I used to have phone sex with who was so loud when she orgasmed.
We'd start cuming together, and I'd have to hold the phone away from my ear.... I'd be there kneeling on the floor, hand round my cock, spurting cum, and trying to suppress my laughter.
She asked me once if she's very loud and if I thought her neighbours would hear (she lived in an apartment). I told her "nahhh". But I bet her whole city block knew when she was getting off.


One time (this should really go under "crap phone sex experiences), I'd just cum (jacking off to a cyber-sex chat) and a woman gave me her number to call for a quick phone fuck (I promised her I was so horny that I could easily cum again).
I called her, listened to her cum (it was boring), then faked mine. A damn good job I did of it too, if I may say. I don't know why I bothered calling though.

 

[perks]

this one time <why do I feel like I'm telling bandcamp stories?>

this guy made me fuck a dog. I'm still scarred.

 

[BigDawg69]

Not your best customer? . . . . oh wait . . . nevermind

 

[perks]

Not your best customer? . . . . oh wait . . . nevermind

sure, but he doesn't do the dog thing anymore.

I should have said Dawg, it would have changed the meaning entirely.

 

[asenath]

One time my bread machine went off while I was in the middle of it all… and I told him to hold on while I went to get the bread out. I could have left it. It has a feature that allows for that… but I didn’t feel like it.

 

[perks]

One time my bread machine went off while I was in the middle of it all… and I told him to hold on while I went to get the bread out. I could have left it. It has a feature that allows for that… but I didn’t feel like it.

*laughing*

that's a good one.

how about that guy who doesn't even need you to be there?

I swear to god I can just put the phone down and pick it up and he'll still be talking to himself.

oh wait, I have done that.

 

[bknight2602]

*laughing*

that's a good one.

how about that guy who doesn't even need you to be there?

I swear to god I can just put the phone down and pick it up and he'll still be talking to himself.

oh wait, I have done that.

PB you are badddddddddd!

 

[perks]

PB you are badddddddddd!

oh honey, you don't know the half.


as for you, sugah. 6 to go until your title! Congratulations.

 

[asenath]

*L* @ perky... that's funny.

 

[Kurmudgeon]

I called a woman from Florida once. She schedules guys throughout the evening, and lets you call at a certain time.
When my time came, I couldn't understand much because of her accent.... I didn't know what I was jacking off to half the time.
She never came for me.... the last caller for that evening gets to hear her.



[Edited for spelling.]

 

[perks]

I called a woman from Florida once. She schedules guys throughout the evening,and lets you call at a certain time.
When my time came, I couldn't understand much because of her accent.... I didn't know what I was jack off to half the time.
She never came for me.... the last caller for that evening gets to hear her.

OMG, lol... that is the funniest fucking thing...

ok, so she lines up like 5 calls and only the fifth gets to hear her cum?

ummmm, Why do the first four guys keep calling her?

 

[VanB]

I know a lady who bursts into fits of hystrical giggles when she comes. Most disconcerting.

 

[lovetoread]

For 3 months,phone sex was the only sex I had.

Thank gawd I didnt get knocked up.

 

[Vilac]

For 3 months,phone sex was the only sex I had.

Thank gawd I didnt get knocked up.

Yep...you could of delivered a little Caller Id display.

<insert rimshot here>



V~~~~~~~~

 

[lovetoread]

Yep...you could of delivered a little Caller Id display.

<insert rimshot here>



V~~~~~~~~

I had visions of little phone babies...

Would they look like his phone or mine?

 

[Vilac]

I had visions of little phone babies...

Would they look like his phone or mine?

I'm not sure...but what I do know is that it'd be cordless.

You have to cut the cord sometime.

(ok...I'm going to shut up) LOL
V~~~~~~

 

[lovetoread]

That one got me.

I am still giggling...lol

 

[juicylips]

What's phone sex?

JL

 

[perks]

What's phone sex?

JL

it's when you hump your phone.

 

[PepperminTrish]

What's phone sex?

JL

Call me ............ I'll refresh your memory.

That is IF I can remember myself.

 

[juicylips]

it's when you hump your phone.

Yea...that's kinda what I thought after reading everyone's posts.

Call me ............ I'll refresh your memory.

I can call this morning, PT..no joke. Let me know.

JL

 

[PepperminTrish]

Yea...that's kinda what I thought after reading everyone's posts.



I can call this morning, PT..no joke. Let me know.

JL

YAY!

I can squeeze you in between caller 3 and 4 this morning.


Seriously, my line is free ......... give me a jingle whenever.

 

[takingchances42]

I can call this morning, PT..no joke. Let me know.

JL

Call me back first and give me permission to take the cuffs off first, JL...

Please........

You know how I hate it when you make me wait... but then, you like that, don't you?

 

[PepperminTrish]

Call me back first and give me permission to take the cuffs off first, JL...

Please........

You know how I hate it when you make me wait... but then, you like that, don't you?

Back off ............. she's all mine this morning.
She'll be around to undo you.




Eventually.

 

[juicylips]

Call me back first and give me permission to take the cuffs off first, JL...

Please........

You know how I hate it when you make me wait... but then, you like that, don't you?

No. Keep them on. I like you waiting...wanting.

There's a lot to be said for anticipation.

JL