Am I pleasing her?

[beachguy06]

I'm a small guy (6.25" length, 5" girth), and it seems that I just can't please my girlfriend very well. It's not a stamina problem, I can go for a good while, but she just can't seem to come. She does rarely, and when she does she doesn't seem satisfied.

What positions can accentuate a small guy like me, and hopefully please her more? I've tried talking to her about it and she says it isn't me, she has her mind on other things. It's possible she's telling the truth, but I don't want to dissappoint her.

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

First, you're not small. I suspect you know that. You are actually above average.

Second, even if she considers you small, it's not the size of the wave, it's the motion of the ocean. Learning how to use what you've got, rather than rueing it, and blaming it for performance.

Sex starts in the brain. Perhaps, before getting down to business, spend time giving her a massage, or putting her at ease. Draw her a bath, let her soak. Something that will "take her mind off the other things"... as she complains that's the problem. Incorporate other ideas into your play.. like food, or bondage, or games. Make sex fun.

I think a lot of people forget that sex is, essentially, a rather funny thing to indulge in. We all look funny when we get it on, and laughter during sex has always increased the pleasure for me - because I am comfortable enough with my partner to laugh.


How long have you been with your partner? Has she had issues orgasming with past lovers? Are you her first?

 

[beachguy06]

How long have you been with your partner? Has she had issues orgasming with past lovers? Are you her first?

Not too long, a month or so. She has had previous lovers, but she's never said whether or not she has had trouble in the past.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Many women never come from penetration, regardless of size or duration of thrusting. Just doesn't happen.

Do you spend any time stroking her clit before and during penetration?

Does she ever masturbate? Has she ever had an orgasm, either while masturbating or with someone else? What kind of touching made her come?

 

[LadyJeanne]

Not too long, a month or so. She has had previous lovers, but she's never compared.

It's not about comparing - it's about her telling you what she needs in order to come. She has to help you out with that. You're not a mind-reader.

 

[Eilan]

Above average does not equal small.

And what Ms_Lilith and LadyJeanne said.

 

[SweetErika]

The lovely ladies have given you great advice. And stop complaining about size, because there's almost nothing less pleasure-inducing than a needy partner who lacks confidence and self esteem.

One of my best lovers was actually very small. I didn't come from penetration (I also didn't know how then though), but I did from the way he made me feel physically and emotionally. We had lots of foreplay, he was enthusiastic about oral, he played with my nipples and clit during, talked dirty (your mileage may vary on all of this), and said things in and out of the bedroom that made me feel like the sexiest woman on earth.

Don't ask her if she came or anything that might put pressure on her...she'll be so damn worried about it that she'll never come, and she'll likely fake it for your benefit (no, you probably won't be able to tell even if you're positive you can).

Foreplay, lots of feedback, more foreplay, listen to her feedback, use your hands and body to stimulate her g-spot and clit during sex, and throw a lot more foreplay in for good measure. You two also might consider buying a vibrator for clitoral use during sex (and foreplay and masturbation, for that matter)...they're really fantastic for this, and there are tons of models designed to slip between couples.

 

[human_male]

He's shitting ya, ladies.

 

[fantasylover]

.............

 

[jetdriver68]

I'm a small guy (6.25" length, 5" girth), and it seems that I just can't please my girlfriend very well. It's not a stamina problem, I can go for a good while, but she just can't seem to come. She does rarely, and when she does she doesn't seem satisfied.

What positions can accentuate a small guy like me, and hopefully please her more? I've tried talking to her about it and she says it isn't me, she has her mind on other things. It's possible she's telling the truth, but I don't want to dissappoint her.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Think ya'll need to sit down and talk with each other. Find out what she likes and do THAT -- not what others think she MIGHT like.

 

[MSX140]

Hey all

Dont know if Iam in the right place to post but seems like a I may be.

Iam having the same type of prob only more so.

Iam 22 and have been seeing my GF for about 4 months now, we have a really good sex life and she says she really enjoys it. only prob is ive never been able to make her cum and its really starting to get to me cos I have tried everything I can think of.
Ive had a few GF in the past and ive been able to make them all cum through oral or sex itself.
My GF has had two lovers before me and shes told me she only came once with one of them from him giving her oral, ive asked her what is different from what I do to what he did and shes says Iam doing the same thing if not better. Ive tried everything you name it ive tried it and Iam all out of ideas.

So can anyone out there help me pop my GF please???
Thanks

 

[kiwichyck]

as kiwichycks husband i find that the best thing to concentrate on isnt her orgasm but the atmosphere and build up beforehand. isnt an orgasm just the end product? isnt what happens before, just as, if not more important?if too much importance is on the end, then what happens to the beginning and middle? you will probably find that if these points were just as important as the orgasm, and took your time to appreciate her body,mind etc(not saying that you dont) then nature should and would take its course.
trying too hard to achieve her orgasm can have the opposite effect because of the pressure put on her to "perform"