Am I jaded?

[Ambrosious]

Before you answer, a little background. Here in Atlanta, we are losing teens left and right. A teen just died from menengitis, two died while street racing, one died recently racing to beat her curfew, etc. While I feel that any loss of life is tragic, what is up with the schools rushing in a team of grief counselers every time a student expires early?

I graduated in 1985 (from high school) and do not remember one grief counseler for the 6 deaths our school had while I attended. It didn't leave any permanant damage.

Is this needed or is it part of an indoctrination program. (That's it. Just lie back and government will take care of all your needs. That's a-baby.)

 

[Rosebud]

We never had any counselors shipped in for our school either. I think it is the new government....the touchy feely and don't have your own thoughts just rely on us government. Maybe that is why the teen anger and death problems are so common. Remember when we were in school??? If we did something wrong we got swats with a paddle. I got it once, that was enough for me. When we had problems with others, we didn't hold it inside until we took a gun to school and gunned the kids down, no we fought. I think everyone needs to pick up the rod again and stop spoiling the children.

 

[Prussian Overlord]

I don't really see this as a vast government conspiracy, Ambrosious. I think it's just the school system trying to handle what parents are leaving out. I also live in Atlanta so i have a pretty good idea of what you are talking about.

PO

 

[Always]

i think it's the government trying to resensitize the public while trying to brainwash us into thi9nking that only law can solve everything.

 

[lala]

on my soapbox again,....beware!

here i go,... whatch out,... you got me going on this one
i apologize in advance,...


i think my generation (i'm 19) has beed coddled more than any one before us-

they don't want to hurt our feelings by teaching us a lesson through harsh reality- some young people die due to their poor decision making.

they'd rather shelter us, i'm starting to believe that it supports unstable emotional behavior- because we're shown that we will supported and cared for when we break down, i think my contemporaries (for the most part) will be on emitonal crutches for the rest of their lives.

i think we are shown that we don't need to be emotionally stable, but that our friends, our lovers, our schools, our jobs, our children, our neighbors (you get the idea) should accomodate our lack of self control.

yes we can have feelings- no feelings should not impede function or serve as a scapegoat. we need to live our lives with our emotions as a guide, not walker.

shipping in gaggles of counselors (who incidentally aren't always properly trained) can support learned helplessness- which i think is one of the saddest detrimental attitudes i've seen.


*i think i was actually jumping up and down on my soapbox tha time,... *

 

[Naked Hunny]

I dont remember any grief counselers and i only graduated 2 years ago. I do remember though when a boy was diagnosed with Hodgekins disease. He decided he was gonna stay in school till he no longer could handle it. His mother had arranged for his doctors to come in and explain to people what exactly Hodgekins disease was and answer any questions we had.

 

[teresafannin]

After my son & 6 others were murdered last year, the 3 schools affected had counselors come in to talk to any of the kids who felt the need of some extra help. For some of the kids, it was very beneficial to have someone neutral to talk to. One of my son's best friends was standing next to JM when he was hit, this boy is still in therapy. I don't think it is so much coddling the kids as helping them to deal with trauma. How many of you, have had to bury 4 teenagers & 3 adults in 3 days, probably none unless you live where I do. That is major trauma & most parents are not equipped to deal with it. Perhaps if more people in their 30' & 40's had gotten some help or counseling when they were younger, they wouldn't be shooting up churches & office buildings. The man who killed my son & 6 others had been ill for years & never got the help he needed. How many young people are on the same road right now? It is my experience that far too many children are not protected like they should be. Too many parents who work, socialize, do everything except spend time with their children. They give their children things, but most kids I know would rather have time with their parents. There is a reason that the same group of parents seem to be involved in all of the kids activities, we are the ones who put our kids first & end up doing for other people's kids as well. I loved the years I spent as a volunteer & wouldn't trade those memories for anything. Even though my son is gone, I am still the first person his friends come to see when something important happens in their lives.

 

[minx]

Ambrosious, how many of your fellow classmates were gunned down before your eyes? In 1985 the schools were a very different place than they are now. Teresafannin's description is unfortunately all too accurate. I believe you have trouble understanding the need for grief counsellors because there wasn't a need when you were in school. But how many times were you honestly afraid to go to school. Not 'oh dear I forgot to study for a test' afraid, but 'will I live to see the end of the day' afraid. Times have changed and not for the better.

 

[teresafannin]

Hi minx, I should have specified that my son was killed in a church during a youth rally, not in school. There were over 400 kids in the church than night enarly as many adults. Most of the teens were students in the 3 high schools closest to us. That night 4 teenagers & 3 adults died before the gunman turned the gun on himself. I worried about my son being safe in school, but he reassured me that the small alternative school he attended was safe. I never dreamed he wouldn't be safe in church. The memories & trauma of that night will never totally leave any of us. I would bet that anyone who has lost someone to violence still remembers. A 17 year old girl was murdered when I was a junior in HS back in 1976. I still remember how awful it was for everyone who knew her. Those memories may be repressed, but I don't think they will ever totally go away. My sister & her friends still remember the trauma they felt when a classmate committed suicide back in 1982.

 

[insideShiraz]

Teres...my heart...

I've lost 3 close schoolmates in my day, and it is never easy. But today is so wierd from when I was in school. Now everyone is a wannabe' Nigger with a gun to fire. From my school, a girl was kept dead for someone who didn't know how to love people who are alive everywhere all around.

 

[minx]

Teresa, honey, I did misunderstand. Dear Lord that is so much worse. I can't even begin to imagine your loss, and wish there was something I could say that would make a difference, but I know there's not. Just know my heart goes out to you.

 

[Aranian]

Re: on my soapbox again,....beware!

i think my generation (i'm 19) has beed coddled more than any one before us-

I have to disagree with you here, lala.

*glances balefully at the crushed soapbox*

From my observations in high school, it seems that a large proportion of students are being driven by higher expectations from teachers and parents. I think that this is particularly destructive where the so-called AP and honors and similiar programs are concerned. These programs are limited to a small percentage of the student body and often as not, many students with real talent and potential are not being accepted. The real problem is that these groups foster a great deal of segregation within the student community and encourage exclusive cliques. It's this exclusion from idealized groups and bloated self-expectation which gives rise to an overabundance of extreme rebel-with-a-cause attitudes.

 

[Savage Kitten]

too true teresa

When I was going to school, I had friends who where depressed and stressed over making a B or low A. Then our school counseler was our friend, our someone to talk to. I got pregnant 4 months b4 graduation. Even though I was engaged I was embarassed and considered dropping out. My school counseler talked me out of it and help me see the importance of graduating, especially since I was pg.

That was then, this is now.

There is so much more for these young people to deal with. As it's already been stated, a lot more is expected of them grade wise. They have so much more 'after school work' then before. I think it is wise for the schools to acknowledge that there are some things they are not able to deal with and handle.... Grief being one of them.

If you think it is coddling them, then coddle away. It's one of the better things my tax $$ are paying for.