Am I being unrealistic??

[NaughtyGuy40]

I love love loveeeee bdsm. But it's not his thing. He has tried it...but...after spankinng me he came in like 5 seconds.....maybe he liked it to much. I don't know. lol I'd try anything at this point.

Well then, try it again but get him to spank you & be submissive, be his dirty slut & do as he commands, maybe switch roles if you feel the urge & spank his little butt red raw, lol

 

[13Fantasies]

I love love loveeeee bdsm. But it's not his thing. He has tried it...but...after spankinng me he came in like 5 seconds.....maybe he liked it to much. I don't know. lol I'd try anything at this point.

Nothing wrong with liking it too much. Just offer it more often to spice up his endurance.

 

[Esoteric_Pixie]

I have...I've offered to even peg him but that grosses him out. So....we stick to what he's comfortable with...sadly, I'm not a swtich and have been trying my hardest to be more dominant.

 

[Wyldfire]

I fully understand...but this has been going on for 4 years....4. I've talked until I'm blue in the face. I don't want to just masturbate until I'm 90 and then die.

Then put on your big girl panties and cheat on him. It seems to me that that's what you are looking for validation for........ You want a total stranger's validation? Here it is. Was he like this before you married him?

 

[Wyldfire]

Oh believe me...I caught him cheat on CL before. It's nothing new. But I loved him....so I forgave...but never forgot.

Then it's just you he's not into......

 

[shawn_manly]

Oh believe me...I caught him cheat on CL before. It's nothing new. But I loved him....so I forgave...but never forgot.

Sweetie, what makes you think he is not cheating on you now? he has before and all the signs are saying he is now. forgiving him doesnt mean he has stopped. there is a reason why a man cheats. if you have not found the source you have not found the cure. So im gonna go out on a limb and say he is cheating. Prove me otherwise.

 

[13Fantasies]

I have...I've offered to even peg him but that grosses him out. So....we stick to what he's comfortable with...sadly, I'm not a swtich and have been trying my hardest to be more dominant.

That's not uncommon. After all, he has the power to give you sex, so you stay with what he likes. It's sad, but until you make a decision for yourself, it's the status quo.

 

[13Fantasies]

Sweetie, what makes you think he is not cheating on you now? he has before and all the signs are saying he is now. forgiving him doesnt mean he has stopped. there is a reason why a man cheats. if you have not found the source you have not found the cure. So im gonna go out on a limb and say he is cheating. Prove me otherwise.

Question regarding this: If her man was cheating, wouldn't he last longer? You would think his endurance would be better if he was constantly getting it on...right?

 

[lurkingguy1978]

I have...I've offered to even peg him but that grosses him out. So....we stick to what he's comfortable with...sadly, I'm not a swtich and have been trying my hardest to be more dominant.

Trying to be more dominant when you aren't is not going to work, IMO. You can't be someone you aren't.

 

[Esoteric_Pixie]

I can't. and I DO NOT want to cheat. All I'm looking for is advice that maybe I haven't thought of..or a good reason why he is the way he is. Maybe he's not innterested in me...then he needs to man up and fucking tell me to take a hike. And stop telling me..it's not my fault an that he isn't horny and that he's fucking some chick on the side and make it easier for both of us!!!!!!!

 

[o2baPrince]

I can't. and I DO NOT want to cheat. All I'm looking for is advice that maybe I haven't thought of..or a good reason why he is the way he is. Maybe he's not innterested in me...then he needs to man up and fucking tell me to take a hike. And stop telling me..it's not my fault an that he isn't horny and that he's fucking some chick on the side and make it easier for both of us!!!!!!!

From my experience, years of therapy (single and couples) might give a reason, but it won't be a good one. It has little if anything to do with you.

 

[13Fantasies]

I can't. and I DO NOT want to cheat. All I'm looking for is advice that maybe I haven't thought of..or a good reason why he is the way he is. Maybe he's not innterested in me...then he needs to man up and fucking tell me to take a hike. And stop telling me..it's not my fault an that he isn't horny and that he's fucking some chick on the side and make it easier for both of us!!!!!!!

If he hasn't told you by now, odds are that he never will.

 

[Wyldfire]

How many hours a week does he work? How much of the financial burden does he carry in the relationship? Do you carry a higher amount of the burden? Has he tried anything in the past that you have said no to? Has there been any excessive stress between the two of you?

 

[Esoteric_Pixie]

How many hours a week does he work? How much of the financial burden does he carry in the relationship? Do you carry a higher amount of the burden? Has he tried anything in the past that you have said no to? Has there been any excessive stress between the two of you?

He doesn't work. I pay the bills. I love to experiment and have only said no to oral after I've worked all day. Excessive stress?? Oh you mean the 2 times he's been arrested? Or the time we were homesless? Or the fact I'm taking extra fucking hours to pay our fucking house payment? If he can't work the least he can do is fuck me. and maybe do house work. lol Jesus christ, walk the fucking dog every now and then. But appartently all I do it bitch, bitch, bitch, blahdy blah blah.

 

[shawn_manly]

Question regarding this: If her man was cheating, wouldn't he last longer? You would think his endurance would be better if he was constantly getting it on...right?

nope, thats not how it works, a cheating man looses interest in his wife.

 

[13Fantasies]

He doesn't work. I pay the bills. I love to experiment and have only said no to oral after I've worked all day. Excessive stress?? Oh you mean the 2 times he's been arrested? Or the time we were homesless? Or the fact I'm taking extra fucking hours to pay our fucking house payment? If he can't work the least he can do is fuck me. and maybe do house work. lol Jesus christ, walk the fucking dog every now and then. But appartently all I do it bitch, bitch, bitch, blahdy blah blah.

He doesn't do anything all day? Maybe you should assess why you stay with him...

 

[13Fantasies]

nope, thats not how it works, a cheating man looses interest in his wife.

I agree that he can lose interest, but she made it sound like he wasn't lasting long with sex. If I was fucking someone I didn't like, I think I would have a tough time getting hard rather than lasting briefly...

 

[Wyldfire]

Reading some of the posts here I can see at least one stressor that could be messing with him. You crying at him about sex is a sure turn off for most guys. Offering to do things that might make a straight man question his sexuality can't help either.

You are presenting yourself as desperate and some guys shrink away from that as well.

 

[Wyldfire]

He doesn't work. I pay the bills. I love to experiment and have only said no to oral after I've worked all day. Excessive stress?? Oh you mean the 2 times he's been arrested? Or the time we were homesless? Or the fact I'm taking extra fucking hours to pay our fucking house payment? If he can't work the least he can do is fuck me. and maybe do house work. lol Jesus christ, walk the fucking dog every now and then. But appartently all I do it bitch, bitch, bitch, blahdy blah blah.

Sweetie, I'd have kicked him to the curb long ago. Now that I have more data I would say cut your losses and get clear of him. Find a partner, not a leech.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Is he depressed because of these situations?

 

[ade370]

Not that I would ever advocate anyone cheating on or leaving their partner, but I must admit I'm struggling to see what you get out of this relationship. All the signs seem to indicate he's cheating on you again and you certainly aren't getting the sex you want/deserve -I do think you'd be better off with some one better suited to your wants. Anyway good luck in sorting hon and always happy to chat

 

[13Fantasies]

Sweetie, I'd have kicked him to the curb long ago. Now that I have more data I would say cut your losses and get clear of him. Find a partner, not a leech.

Or hire a better fuck toy since that is what you want.

 

[shawn_manly]

He doesn't work. I pay the bills. I love to experiment and have only said no to oral after I've worked all day. Excessive stress?? Oh you mean the 2 times he's been arrested? Or the time we were homesless? Or the fact I'm taking extra fucking hours to pay our fucking house payment? If he can't work the least he can do is fuck me. and maybe do house work. lol Jesus christ, walk the fucking dog every now and then. But appartently all I do it bitch, bitch, bitch, blahdy blah blah.

wow! talk about having a life of a king. So he doesnt give a fuck to find a job, sits around all day and fuck other women, gets arrested and all your complaining is why he doesnt fuck you? Are you serious? Tell me again why should he find a job, or not fuck other women since you are taking such good care of him?

 

[Esoteric_Pixie]

Maybe....but why is it so hard to just leave? :/ I don't mean to come across as needy...all I want is for my husband to enjoy and crave sex with me. If that means stepping out of my confort zone so be it. Nor do I mean to question his sexuality, I'm just trying to understand.

 

[13Fantasies]

Maybe....but why is it so hard to just leave? :/ I don't mean to come across as needy...all I want is for my husband to enjoy and crave sex with me. If that means stepping out of my confort zone so be it. Nor do I mean to question his sexuality, I'm just trying to understand.

Usually it's because of cultural tendencies hammered into our brains. If you take the potential stigma out of a divisor separation, it's a lot easier