am i a sub ???

[xxx_ellie]

im unsure,im in a relationship,but its not right.i want to be told to do my everyday tasks,told what to where what to eat,when to do things....in sex i want to be taken,when he wants to take me ........my fella does not understand this.......help.

 

[nh23]

I have no idea if your a sub or not, but there is a lot of good information on this forum. You could look in the library or search the threads for information you are looking for.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

im unsure,im in a relationship,but its not right.i want to be told to do my everyday tasks,told what to where what to eat,when to do things....in sex i want to be taken,when he wants to take me ........my fella does not understand this.......help.

Sorta sounds like a sub..

 

[HB1965]

Sorta sounds like a sub..

Yeah sounds like it to me too.

 

[catalina_francisco]

im unsure,im in a relationship,but its not right.i want to be told to do my everyday tasks,told what to where what to eat,when to do things....in sex i want to be taken,when he wants to take me ........my fella does not understand this.......help.

Maybe you are, maybe you aren't and just don't want the responsibility of making decisions. Only you will know but you will find lots of imformation here to help you think about it. You can check out the library at the top of the forum, or just skim the threads picking out ones you think might have something relevent for you.

Catalina

 

[FurryFury]

im unsure,im in a relationship,but its not right.i want to be told to do my everyday tasks,told what to where what to eat,when to do things....in sex i want to be taken,when he wants to take me ........my fella does not understand this.......help.

If you are with someone who is not into it and you've communicated what you would like as clearly as you can you must decide which is most important to you the person you are with or your fantasy.

You could be a sub.

Or you could be someone who doesn't want to handle life herself. We see far too many of those here IMO. Nothing but maturity can help that.

The only way you are going to find out is with time, trial and error. No one can tell you what you are accurately.

Anyone who pretends to is someone not to be trusted.

Good luck in your explorations.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Hi Ellie

The first thing you wrote is that you're in a relationship but 'it's not right.' Why is that so? What attracted you to your guy in the first place? Did he appear to be someone who likes being in control and then disappoint you? I'm just asking questions because it's hard to offer advice on such a short post, please don't think I'm being rude.

You also say that your boyfriend 'doesn't understand.' How did you approach the subject with him? If you only did this a short while ago he may turn out to be willing to experiment once the shock has worn off and he's got used to the idea. If you truly want someone to do all the decision making then that's a lot to ask of someone else. If your boyfriend doesn't enjoy having that amount of responsibility he may not be right for you long term.

Have you always felt this way or has something recently got you thinking about being submissive to a man? If you open up a little more we'll have a better idea of where you're coming from with this.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Question.. why do you feel the need to label yourself?

 

[littleone77]

Question.. why do you feel the need to label yourself?

Why are there several threads on several forums trying to do just that?

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Why are there several threads on several forums trying to do just that?

I have no idea.. I call myself a Dom but does it matter what I call myself? Just so long as the person I am with is happy.. who the hell else cares who or what I am?
And that I can look myself in the mirror (and not be blinded by the newly chromed dome).

 

[littleone77]

I have no idea.. I call myself a Dom but does it matter what I call myself? Just so long as the person I am with is happy.. who the hell else cares who or what I am?
And that I can look myself in the mirror (and not be blinded by the newly chromed dome).

People are obsessed with labels. We all do it...categorize our friends and aquantices into groups. There is an inner need to label not only ourself but others. I do it so I know how to handle people better, *cheeky grinz*

And my label is a long one btw, with quite a few acronomys thrown in~

 

[doveofserenity]

im unsure,im in a relationship,but its not right.i want to be told to do my everyday tasks,told what to where what to eat,when to do things....in sex i want to be taken,when he wants to take me ........my fella does not understand this.......help.

Does your inner self (your spirit, soul; whatever you wish to call it) smile and sigh in relief when told by Him to do the thing you spoke of?

Do you feel that at the moment He takes you, there is no one else in the world but the two of you? And that you are doing it all for Him and His pleasure? Because His pleasure gives you pleasure?

Then if so, it sounds like you are a sub.

Hope you get to understanding your inner self soon.

 

[doveofserenity]

Chrome Dome?

I have no idea.. I call myself a Dom but does it matter what I call myself? Just so long as the person I am with is happy.. who the hell else cares who or what I am?
And that I can look myself in the mirror (and not be blinded by the newly chromed dome).

Chrome Domes are sexy to a lot of us, myself included. So just put some shades on so it wont blind You.

 

[Etoile]

Way too little information to give an accurate answer, but it sounds to me like somebody who saw Secretary and liked it. YMMV.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Chrome Domes are sexy to a lot of us, myself included. So just put some shades on so it wont blind You.

Why thank you..

and I do have prescription shades.. guess I should take a pic, huh?

 

[doveofserenity]

Your Pic

Why thank you..

and I do have prescription shades.. guess I should take a pic, huh?

Your very nice looking as Your pic shows now, but could we be honored to see You with Your shades on?

 

[Daddyslilpet]

im unsure,im in a relationship,but its not right.i want to be told to do my everyday tasks,told what to where what to eat,when to do things....in sex i want to be taken,when he wants to take me ........my fella does not understand this.......help.

This is a question only you can answer for yourself. No one else can tell you what you feel inside. I suggest you read as much as you can and be sure you know what being a submissive is all about, and I don't just mean fictional stories either. Find everything you can, and if by reading it you can say "Hey that's ME" then you are probably a submissive.

Good luck in your search.

 

[staciliv]

im unsure,im in a relationship,but its not right.i want to be told to do my everyday tasks,told what to where what to eat,when to do things....in sex i want to be taken,when he wants to take me ........my fella does not understand this.......help.

I dunno, darlin', but one word of caution: Put the whip in his hand and you won't be able to take it back. Be very careful!

Having considered that, if you're still determined to become his sub, I suggest you talk with him about it, perhaps get some of the good literature on the subject and let him read it. If he still resists it may be HE wants to be YOUR sub.

I think most males, if presented with a female in see through negligee wearing a collar and leash would accept the leash and act accordingly - even if they have sub fantasies themselves.

 

[jadefirefly]

Why, if he resists, would he want to be her sub? Can't someone choose neither?

 

[FungiUg]

[...]my fella does not understand this [...]

Every relationship, no matter who or how many, no matter what labels are involved, requires communication. Learning each other and what works and how it works comes out of that.

I'd suggest if your "fella" doesn't understand what you need, perhaps you need to work on your communication?

The common misconception I have seen is that for a sucessful BDSM relationship, you just need a sub and a Dom and it all magically happens from there. Nope, sorry. Your relationship issues won't go away just because you now get taken forcefully during sex. If you're not talking and communicating what is important, your relationship is in trouble no matter what else happens.

So start there. Get the communication going. Even if it doesn't work out this time, it's still a valuable skill for next time, so it's not wasted effort.

 

[staciliv]

Why, if he resists, would he want to be her sub? Can't someone choose neither?

Certainly. I wrote he MAY want to be her sub.

 

[oneguy4fun]

I think most males, if presented with a female in see through negligee wearing a collar and leash would accept the leash and act accordingly - even if they have sub fantasies themselves.

Yep. I'm in.


Seriously though... If you get a thrill out of all the things you mentioned, then I'd say you are a sub. There are many ways to bring your guy into the lifestyle but you need lots of patience. Think of how the lifestyle would benefit him. Give him a subtle taste of it and then put your sales hat on and try to sell him on the concept, empasizing the benefits to him.

 

[SLUT13]

well im a sub, and i looove being controlled, with EVERYTHING. and i like to b controlled in sum of the same ways uve mentioned, so ya id say u r. and the more into it u get, the more fun it is.

 

[twysted73]

well im a sub, and i looove being controlled, with EVERYTHING. and i like to b controlled in sum of the same ways uve mentioned, so ya id say u r. and the more into it u get, the more fun it is.

"And by these small steps she begins her life-long affair with D/s"

I wish I could remember MY babysteps. *grumbles at memory loss**
For myself I found that once I started I couldn't ever fully let it go. There were times I set it asside or it took the back seat to life. But it always stayed "in the car".

I can't say it enough...I love this lifestyle. I really do.