Considered purely as a fetish, no, since I don't go for the girly dressing and Bambi Sleep bimbo mindset. However, as a state of mind, I do believe I have what I consider to be strong sissy traits. I wrote an essay for Literotica earlier, but it was rejected for being too short. With your indulgence, I'm posting it here and asking for your feedback, insights and wisdom as I continue the struggle to understand just who I am. Thanks in advance.
I am a sissy…
…though you wouldn't know it to look at me. I'm an older man with an average dad bod and no intention to change my appearance. So, why do I say I'm a sissy?
I'm a sissy because that's what my mind tells me. I'm very submissive, which manifests itself in what I consider to be a feminine mindset of a quiet desire to serve others. Sexually, it manifests itself in a need to provide pleasure to men, especially by making love to their cocks and swallowing their cum. But there's more to my need to serve and provide pleasure than just being a cocksucker...
In some of my erotic writings, I call myself the Giver of Pleasure and that is how I see myself. I don't care about my own pleasure and usually don't have a sissygasm (or any other kind of orgasm) when I'm providing pleasure. When I'm with a man, his body (whatever its shape) fascinates me. I want to explore every inch of it with my hands and mouth. I want to taste him, hear his moans of pleasure and see his toes and muscles tense in pleasure.
I want his passions to rise to the point he takes over and ravishes me, taking my mouth with his, turning my revulsion at having another man kiss me transform into the passion of a man seducing my inner helpless maiden. I want him to guide my head to his cock and possess my mouth fully. And I want to feel him pulse in my mouth and feed me his cum, then let me lick and suck him dry until the pleasure turns to pain.
My sissydom is part and parcel of my submissive nature. Why do I enjoy female clothing, especially lingerie and hosiery? Because it encases my body in a form of bondage that is as much mental as physical: my inner maiden has captured my body and made it her plaything. Even when wearing male clothing, my inner sissy comes out in the most subtle ways: my shorter step, keeping my knees together (which requires an act of will and is another reminder that I'm no longer a man), getting into the car with both legs at once, stepping heel to toe, not being boisterous in social settings. None of this is apparent to my coworkers, but they set me apart in my own mind and increase my appetite for cock and cum, the only things that can satisfy me when the hunger strikes.
And when the hunger becomes too great, and I go to an ABS to satisfy it, my inner sissy remains the helpless maiden. I cannot become the sissy slut that throws herself at every man. Instead, I must sit demurely, making eye contact and licking my lips suggestively, but always waiting for the man to make the first move to signal his desire.
And when I find myself on my knees, with an older man's cock in my mouth, I am where I need to be. Even if he only feeds me a small stream of bitter liquid, I am content, because I've given him what he thought he wouldn't get again: undivided attention and pleasure. That is my purpose in life as a sissy...I wouldn't have it any other way.
I am a sissy…
…though you wouldn't know it to look at me. I'm an older man with an average dad bod and no intention to change my appearance. So, why do I say I'm a sissy?
I'm a sissy because that's what my mind tells me. I'm very submissive, which manifests itself in what I consider to be a feminine mindset of a quiet desire to serve others. Sexually, it manifests itself in a need to provide pleasure to men, especially by making love to their cocks and swallowing their cum. But there's more to my need to serve and provide pleasure than just being a cocksucker...
In some of my erotic writings, I call myself the Giver of Pleasure and that is how I see myself. I don't care about my own pleasure and usually don't have a sissygasm (or any other kind of orgasm) when I'm providing pleasure. When I'm with a man, his body (whatever its shape) fascinates me. I want to explore every inch of it with my hands and mouth. I want to taste him, hear his moans of pleasure and see his toes and muscles tense in pleasure.
I want his passions to rise to the point he takes over and ravishes me, taking my mouth with his, turning my revulsion at having another man kiss me transform into the passion of a man seducing my inner helpless maiden. I want him to guide my head to his cock and possess my mouth fully. And I want to feel him pulse in my mouth and feed me his cum, then let me lick and suck him dry until the pleasure turns to pain.
My sissydom is part and parcel of my submissive nature. Why do I enjoy female clothing, especially lingerie and hosiery? Because it encases my body in a form of bondage that is as much mental as physical: my inner maiden has captured my body and made it her plaything. Even when wearing male clothing, my inner sissy comes out in the most subtle ways: my shorter step, keeping my knees together (which requires an act of will and is another reminder that I'm no longer a man), getting into the car with both legs at once, stepping heel to toe, not being boisterous in social settings. None of this is apparent to my coworkers, but they set me apart in my own mind and increase my appetite for cock and cum, the only things that can satisfy me when the hunger strikes.
And when the hunger becomes too great, and I go to an ABS to satisfy it, my inner sissy remains the helpless maiden. I cannot become the sissy slut that throws herself at every man. Instead, I must sit demurely, making eye contact and licking my lips suggestively, but always waiting for the man to make the first move to signal his desire.
And when I find myself on my knees, with an older man's cock in my mouth, I am where I need to be. Even if he only feeds me a small stream of bitter liquid, I am content, because I've given him what he thought he wouldn't get again: undivided attention and pleasure. That is my purpose in life as a sissy...I wouldn't have it any other way.
