Am I a freak?

[enjuedevi88]

Okay, I need some help.
Apparently I'm the only woman in the world who ranks being given oral sex right up there with brushing my teeth or using scissors. It's not that my fiancee isn't trying, from what I've read and heard he's doing exactly what he should be doing. But for some reason, I'm still not getting enough stimulation to orgasm.
We've tried everything, from getting a finger or two up in me (which feels good for my g-spot, but no orgasm) to using a vibrator at the same time (too confusing.)
Also, I'm not able to have vaginal orgasms yet (penis or vibrator inflicted.) I have come very close, but not close enough.
Any advice on how to do this? I've tried everything, even tried not trying, but to no avail. -sigh-
Thanks for listening.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I used to have similar problems. I couldn't orgasm no matter what he did. For me it was a control issue. I could not give up control, to relax and trust enough to allow my body to orgasm.

Orgasms come from the brain, not the body. I've learned to let go and relax enough that my StudMuffin can make me cum by sucking on my toes. In any case, sex is fun whether you cum or not. If ya'll start putting too much importance on your orgasms, they'll become nothing but stressfull and unattainable. Back of and relax. I went to a therapist and the offered advice was much the as if I were an impotent man.

Whether this helps or not, I don't know, but you aren't alone in this, and you aren't a freak.

 

[RemovedByRequest]

Killer's right!

I had the same problem before I got with my husband. I couldn't relax and trust my partners, but I had reason not to later on, so I guess that was intuitive. I sometimes can't come if I don't feel clean down there, that's why I shave, to make it easier to be clean. I hope you can relax and get off. Loose yourself in some fantasy, or do something sexy to yourself, lIke shave and then masterbate while thinking of him licking you. If you cum from that it may help you relax while it's really happening. Good Luck doll....B&B

 

[enjuedevi88]

Sage advice, but I want more!

I appreciate the response. I will try to relax more. I trust this man with my life. He's my best friend and my fiancee. Maybe it is a control issue, but when I relax, what do I do?
Should I focus on the feeling, or should I play with him? Should I just lay there and fantisize?
Sometimes I think about him masturbating alone and it turns me on.(Is that weird?) I think I will try what you said, B&B, and try to masterbate while thinking of the feeling of his mouth down there.
Thanks for the help, you guys. But what of vaginal orgasms? Should I give up hope?

Love,
enjuedevi

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

Have you been to a doctor about this. If not I really think you should. He or she may have some answers for you.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Miss Beaver has it right on the money. Never hurts to get a doc's opinion. If nothing else, you can visit a therapist of some variety a few times and learn relaxation techniques.

 

[Katerina Val-Kyrie]

enjuedevil, if there is something wrong with you, then there is with me, also. I have never achieved a vaginal orgasm through penetration in my entire lifetime. I have often wondered why, as many women seem to be able to without a problem. Only, I can't for some reason. Sometimes I feel cheated, like I am missing the most beautiful feeling in the world. I would love to find release at the same time as my partner, just by feeling him inside me.

I think though there are many women out there who cannot attain an orgasm through actual penetration. Face it, there are no nerve endings in the vagina, so therefore there is no feeling deep inside. Most women, need direct stimulation on their clitoris to achieve orgasm. Some are very fortunate and attain release without it. But for the most part, I think women need the direct stimulation.

As for the oral, I think relaxation plays a major role there. If you feel good about your body, and yourself, you can truly let go and enjoy the wonderful sensations.

KitKat