@->-->---alone---<--<-@

[LaDy MiSeRy]

alone in a hall of mirrors
reflections of yourself
alone with all your fears
distortions of one's self
alone with the funhouse mirrors
fear of one yourself

 

[Guest]

Lady M, are you posting to share this poem or are you wishing for comments?

welcome, by the way.

 

[LaDy MiSeRy]

Thank you for the welcome. Yes, you may feel free to comment on my poetries.

 

[Maria2394]

Welcome to the forum, Lady Misery

I like your poem, and IM glad neo, asked if you wanted comments,sometimes I am apprehensive, to comment on something that was not specifically intended for comments. Some people get right upset when thats not what they wanted

I lke your mirror concept, perhaps leave out "funhouse", or include it in another stanza. The narrator of the poem sounds distressed, and "funhouse" doesnt correlate with that image to me, but I think I understand why you used that image.

.all in all, it does present some good imagery and inner conflict that needs resolution ( or something!!), especially the multi mirrors and the multi-self. Good start. I hope you post some more


maria

 

[wildsweetone]

alone in a hall of mirrors
reflections of yourself
alone with all your fears
distortions of one's self
alone with the funhouse mirrors
fear of one yourself

Hi Lady Misery and welcome to Litland.

I like your poem and would suggest that spacing it out a little more might help give different impact. i.e.


reflections of yourself
alone with all your fears

distortions of one's self
alone with the funhouse mirrors

fear of one yourself

 

[LaDy MiSeRy]

Thank you for your comments. I will carefully consider them in my next revision.

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

Hi, Lady!

I like your poem as well. I think wildsweetone was right on when changing it to couplets with the last line standing alone. It gives the pauses needed throughout to make one think.

Thanks for sharing, and welcome to Lit

 

[LaDy MiSeRy]

Thank you. I may submit my poem to the poem thing to be published here on this web site.