almost, nearly, started to, etc.

[wildsweetone]

Right up front I'll admit to not knowing the technical terms for this.

I have discovered when reading that I much prefer to switch myself into the characters head. I have great difficulty doing this when I read something like,


"Get out," she almost screamed.

or

"No, I can't stay. Really I can't. I have to be somewhere," he nearly ran from the room.


Isn't it more preferable to read,



"Get out!" she screamed.

or

"No, I can't stay. Really I can't. I have to be somewhere," he ran from the room.


How does one almost scream? How does one nearly run from a room?

Is it just me?

What is the correct technical term for this (assuming one exists)?

 

[KillerMuffin]

I would assume an almost scream is just louder than a shrill spoke but less out-of-control than an actual scream.

Nearly ran from the room is probably someone who is getting out of the room as fast as possible while still maintaining some semblance of dignity.

I don't like it when the start to do things or begin to do things. She started to walk toward him. He began to smile at her.

Like all "rules", if you're a master writer you can break them with a sort of native impunity. Otherwise, they just almost scream beginner and you should begin to nearly run away from using them.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Dithering?

 

[wildsweetone]

So, it's okay to use 'nearly' and 'almost' etc?

I would assume an almost scream is just louder than a shrill spoke but less out-of-control than an actual scream.

Nearly ran from the room is probably someone who is getting out of the room as fast as possible while still maintaining some semblance of dignity.

I would expect the surrounding narration or dialogue to enhance 'almost' or 'nearly' thus making the action more clear. If there's nothing backing up 'almost' then the entire sentence falls flat.

If a character is going to be 'dithering' or 'wimpish' then they need to be clearly portrayed as that throughout the story or at least at the beginning...

The 'started to...' and 'began to...' also appear to be a common fault of early writing.

 

[TheEarl]

Prevaricating I believe is the technical term.

For those not at home with hypothetical examples, WSO has been reading through one of my stories and has taken issue with the number of times I used nearly, almost, etc. IMHO it's often a sign of timidity on the part of the writer. There are occasions where it does add to the story to use those words in that form, but in most cases it is just an incapability of selecting the right word or description.

Like to point out that the actual examples weren't in my story. I don't use it quite that blatantly. That is almost amateurish storytelling (sic).

The Earl

 

[pop_54]

Hi Earl

Of course we did Earl, did you expect any other sort of result, 27-17 was getting a bit close though considering it was about 25-7 at one point wasn't it? Not sure I missed a lot of the game with work.

I personally don't use many maybe's or what if's or almost's, but I can accept them to a degree in a story, as long as it doesn't get too silly.


pops..........

 

[wildsweetone]

Earl, i was not referring solely to you. i was referring to many stories i've seen similar wording in.

It's common, and it made me think I needed to learn something about why it happens. Maybe those terms to have their place, if they do, then i need to learn how.

no offense meant.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I've got one other "amateur hour" word which, if not an out-and-out "no-no" is one of those "avoid if possible" terms. IMHO, far too many sentence begin with:

-- THEN --

Someone on the board once had a list of words they always double-checked for mis-use. Would that I had it now. THEN I'd almost be able to nearly avoid those words.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Whispersecret]

There are times when you need words like "almost" and "nearly."

The man was driving her mad. She understood that he was enthusiastic about his car and wanted to share the excitement with her, but did he have to shower her with spittle as he talked?

Thinking about escape, she ate her own dinner as quickly as possible, but finally, a tiny piece of steak flew from his lips and landed in her mashed potatoes. She nearly screamed. Only the fact that they were dining with his parents kept her from shouting at him not to talk with food in his mouth.

But I agree, that if used too frequently can indicate a hesitant writer. I'm guilty of that myself.

Rumple, I'm not sure if I am the person you were refering to, but here's my list of wishy-washy words that I search for in my own writing:

Some, sort of, nearly, began to, started to, seem/seemed to, just, almost, somewhat.

 

[wildsweetone]

There are times when you need words like "almost" and "nearly."

The man was driving her mad. She understood that he was enthusiastic about his car and wanted to share the excitement with her, but did he have to shower her with spittle as he talked?

Thinking about escape, she ate her own dinner as quickly as possible, but finally, a tiny piece of steak flew from his lips and landed in her mashed potatoes. She nearly screamed. Only the fact that they were dining with his parents kept her from shouting at him not to talk with food in his mouth.

Whispersecret, can you explain more why 'nearly' is necessary in there?

Personally I'd leave that sentence out. She is being driven mad, she wants to leave in a hurry... to my way of thinking, she wouldn't 'nearly' scream, she would scream.

Please stick with me to explain this more. I want to learn.

Thanks

 

[TheEarl]

She screamed. She nearly screamed. The former says that she screamed out loud (probably attracting strange looks from her in-laws). The second says that she felt like screaming, but bit it back.

I do tend to use this far too much. It's a more advanced way of telling rather than showing.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

I almost, began to reply to this........

Then it sounded a lot like an old story I wrote.

So I decided I'd best not, before I nearly replied.

I almost remain,

 

[wildsweetone]

...almost lol Sandman

okay maybe i should give up and forget about it. for the life of me i can't see the use of having somebody:

'nearly race from the room'.. hell why say the word 'race' in that case?

or

'almost spitting her disgust'... if she can't be disgusted to the extent of actually spitting her disgust, why choose the word disgust in the first place?

there's a saying and i'm reluctant to say it out loud, but,

why don't authors take their characters by the balls (or the clit) and make them do this stuff instead of letting them pussy foot around with possibilities and innuendoes?

okay being scared of where their characters will drag them, yep i understand that one most definately.

but if your character is not a whimp, then why turn him or her into one?

 

[Guest]

Well...........

I did nearly cum......once.

And then almost did a second time too.

I.....forgot.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

why don't authors take their characters by the balls (or the clit) and make them do this stuff instead of letting them pussy foot around with possibilities and innuendoes?

IMHO, because just like real people, fictional characters often want to do something or have an instinctive need to react to some stimulus, but hesitate as their super-ego takes control.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Alex De Kok]

Back-tracking slightly on this, in her "500 word critiques" that she ran a while ago, Whispersecret pulled me up on my use of "was". Perhaps I should say my over-use of "was".

Checking back through and removing quite a lot of my 'was' words tightened up my prose.

Try it yourself.

Alex

 

[Whispersecret]

Whispersecret, can you explain more why 'nearly' is necessary in there?

Personally I'd leave that sentence out. She is being driven mad, she wants to leave in a hurry... to my way of thinking, she wouldn't 'nearly' scream, she would scream.

Please stick with me to explain this more. I want to learn.

Thanks

Earl has it right. The character wants to scream but doesn't. WSO, I completely understand your point. But when I was talking about timidity, it was more in reference to the writers.

For example, I might find myself (timidly) writing,

Her smile seemed to light up the room.

Yes, I know that's cliche, but I'm short on time this morning.

What would be stronger would be to write,

Her smile lit up the room.

Yes, characters should be gutsy, but only if they're gutsy characters. If the woman in my example actually screamed, what happens afterwards would be COMPLETELY different from what happens if she holds her scream inside. In this instance, her scream would drive the plot a certain way, a way that I might not want it to go.

I hope I'm making sense.

 

[wildsweetone]

IMHO, because just like real people, fictional characters often want to do something or have an instinctive need to react to some stimulus, but hesitate as their super-ego takes control.

Rumple Foreskin

Thanks Rumple, it took me an hour or two to understand that and now with everyone's comments I think I've got it.

She sees something that makes her want to race from the room, but the reality of her immediate situation makes her hold her tongue and she simply leaves at the earliest possible moment?

Or, he spits all over her whilst talking with his mouth full, disgusting her making her want to scream, but she realises she is sitting at a dining table with guests she wants to impress and therefore swallows her scream causing internal combustion and she too leaves the room quickly.

I think I understand. Whenever those particular words 'nearly', 'almost' etc are used, the narration within the paragraph must more clearly indicate the characters feelings or thoughts, otherwise the character becomes wishy washy.

Whispersecret! Thanks for coming back. You're right about the plot being different. It doesn't just affect the one or two sentences, it affects the actual makeup of the character, and thus, the way the story evolves.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Thanks Rumple, it took me an hour or two to understand that and now with everyone's comments I think I've got it.

Glad I could help, WSO, even if it was in my usual, muddled manner (I gotta quit pontificating so late ) And thanks for the thread.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[dr_mabeuse]

It's a matter of ambiguity too:

"He nearly ran from the room."

Does that mean that he left the room so fast he was nearly running, or does that mean that he was close to running from the room but instead stayed where he was?

" 'Stop it!' she almost screamed."

Does this mean that she said "Stop it" so loudly that it was almost a scream? Or that she almost screamed "Stop it!" but instead held her tongue?

If you want to get down to the grammar, the question is: does "nearly" only modify the word "ran"? Or does it modify "ran from the room"?

Does "almost" modify only the word "screamed", or does it modify " 'Stop it!' she screamed."

There's nothing at all wrong with qualifiers like "almost" and "nearly" and their ilk. It's in the way they're used that makes the difference.


---dr.M.

 

[DarlingNikki]

I think the real problem is with stuff like,

"As she read the letter she felt something like annoyance."

"When the lights went out, something like like a scream was torn from his throat."

 

[wildsweetone]

Good points dr.M thank you for contributing. yep, it's like I almost said, the modifers need to be more explicit when using such qualifiers as 'almost' and 'nearly'.

DarlingNikki, you are kidding me right? Surely nobody does that these days?

Rumple, I always learn something when you contribute, thank you And no, you didn't muddle it, I take a while to learn things, so thanks for taking the time to nudge me along

 

[DVS]

FUN WITH ANOTHER'S POSTS! Well, almost or nearly.

Originally posted by wildsweetone 'nearly race from the room'.. hell why say the word 'race' in that case?

Daffy nearly raced from the room, but his legs did the familiar speed spinning action with the soundtrack music enhancement.

Dave nearly raced from the room, but when he turned he met with Bob's fist, instead.

He almost fucked her silly, but his haste overpowered his agility. He leaped onto the bed, but unfortunatly his balls hit the bedpost. He nearly died.

'almost spitting her disgust'... if she can't be disgusted to the extent of actually spitting her disgust, why choose the word disgust in the first place?

almost spitting her disgust, she swallowed her saliva instead, and wiped her mouth nearly clean with her shirt sleeve.

why don't authors take their characters by the balls (or the clit) and make them do this stuff instead of letting them pussy foot around with possibilities and innuendoes?

when the author took him by the balls, he nearly died, but the transplant should be sucessful. A donor has almost been found.

but if your character is not a whimp, then why turn him or her into one?

Jim was nearly a whimp, but he finally pulled the trigger, nearly blowing Bob in half.

 

[wildsweetone]

I notice in each of your examples DVS, that you back up the almost or nearly well. I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with using both within the same sentence, nor would I use either of those words in two sentences running. They're a little overpowering.




ps I'm still in fits over the balls hitting the bedpost. Thanks for that.

 

[Guest]

great thread!

There are a few words, as RF mentioned, that are red flags for me... then, began to, started, almost, nearly... when I catch myself writing them, I go back and write a "definite" statement.

The one exception is "almost" in the context of climaxing... that tantalizing precipice before orgasm is a valid place to describe... and an exquisitely tormenting state.

b