Alcohol Issues

[wideeyedgrin]

Hello Everybody. I think this is more of an advice and support thread rather than a 'how to'.

I'm in my early 20's, I've got a law degree, I'm taking a year out to think about my options and working in a bra shop in the meantime. So that's me in a nutshell.

I have a healthy social life, lots of acquaintences and group of about 10 friends and 2 very close friends (although these relationships are a little strained at the moment for other reasons which is really why I am writing here). I go out clubbing probably every other weekend and then go a few times to the local pub every week.

I don't drink at all at home (apart from Christmas dinner and maybe birthdays). At the pub I have a few glasses of wine etc and find it easy to stop once I feel tipsy but when I'm clubbing I get absolutely wasted about 80% of the time. I don't seem to want to stop myself even though I know I can and I have before.

So, the final straw came this weekend on my work's christmas do when I got more drunk than I'd even been before and made a complete fool of myself. Apparently we nearly got into a fight (although it wasn't just me and it certainly wasn't my fault I've been told), this is completely out of character because I just wouldn't back down and usually I am the peacemaker. I also kissed and groped a man in the middle of the dancefloor and had about 6 different men texting me the day after. I can't remember any of it. .....
I've decided that I might have a problem with drink, or if I don't have one yet then I am on course for developing one.

I haven't seen any comment about the second paragraph here. You have a law degree. Deciding on actually practicing law in the future can wait for awhile; but your choice of behavior cannot. Can you imagine representing a client in court in front of a judge that has seen you as a defendant for something you did while intoxicated? This could have some nasty affects on your career.

Alcohol can put a severe strain on any friendship, especially if these friends cannot understand the need to drop out for a while (a job in a bra shop?) to make a decision on your future.

I go with the one or two drinks with dinner routine, it's much easier to stay with. Avoiding the social/club drinking will allow you to find out how much fun the clubs really are. You may discover that you don't fit into them anymore.

 

[SweetErika]

I haven't seen any comment about the second paragraph here. You have a law degree. Deciding on actually practicing law in the future can wait for awhile; but your choice of behavior cannot. Can you imagine representing a client in court in front of a judge that has seen you as a defendant for something you did while intoxicated? This could have some nasty affects on your career.

Alcohol can put a severe strain on any friendship, especially if these friends cannot understand the need to drop out for a while (a job in a bra shop?) to make a decision on your future.

I guess I don't really get what her law degree and decision to take a year off and work in a bra shop has much, if anything, to do with the problem/binge drinking. Are you saying working in retail, instead of in law, or the decision to take time to think about her career path, is influencing her social life and drinking habits, or something else?

Regarding the bold quote, do you think her friends are having trouble understanding why she's taking a year off and working in a bra shop, instead of the legal field, and that's straining friendships? Or are you talking about dropping out of drinking for a while to make a decision on her future regarding alcohol?

I'm just confused all around.

 

[Ezzy]

I remember it well . . .

In wonder if Yates Wine Lodge is still there? I seemed then like an 18th century relic, very Hogarthian as I recall.

http://www.itchynottingham.co.uk/venue/198037/Yates

 

[elib257]

I haven't seen any comment about the second paragraph here. You have a law degree. Deciding on actually practicing law in the future can wait for awhile; but your choice of behavior cannot. Can you imagine representing a client in court in front of a judge that has seen you as a defendant for something you did while intoxicated? This could have some nasty affects on your career.

I think this paragraph is really interesting. I don't think I will go into practice and my main aim is probably to be a lecturer. So really the question is, do I want to be getting bladdered in the same places as my students? The answer is most definitely no. The wider implications are really how my behaviour is affecting how everybody around sees and feels about me right now. For example at my Christmas party my boss was there, although she's young herself and into the drinking scene, it could so easily be a different story.

alaskabibear - I think you've hit the nail on the head. It'll take some thinking about.

P.s. Yates is still there but nobody in their right mind would go.

 

[In Anticipation]

I think this paragraph is really interesting. I don't think I will go into practice and my main aim is probably to be a lecturer. So really the question is, do I want to be getting bladdered in the same places as my students? The answer is most definitely no. The wider implications are really how my behaviour is affecting how everybody around sees and feels about me right now. For example at my Christmas party my boss was there, although she's young herself and into the drinking scene, it could so easily be a different story.

alaskabibear - I think you've hit the nail on the head. It'll take some thinking about.

P.s. Yates is still there but nobody in their right mind would go.

I'm sure you'll be fine all around. If your friends are like you then they will probably move on in one way or another too.

I read Ezzy's link, I think in my time Yates was full of older people as well, looked like they had been coming there for the last 40 years. I only went the once!

 

[elib257]

I'm sure you'll be fine all around. If your friends are like you then they will probably move on in one way or another too.

Thankyou

 

[PublicAffection]

I come from a family riddled with mental illness and addiction to alcohol and other substanses. I've went through what you are going through now (and worse) for about six years. I finally sobered up and took stock of what was going on when a friend accused me of trying to steal her husband. I was too drunk to walk and was using him as something to lean on. Apparently I got too grabby, and that was the end of that.

Binging with or addiction to anything that begins impeding on your ability to make sound and healthy decisions is bad. You are obviously a very intelligent and self-aware woman to be able to see how drinking is impacting your life at this point. I wish that I had the ability to see the problem as it was starting - it would have saved me from many problems and detrimental situations. I applaud your honesty with yourself, and your willingness to take action.