Alcohol Issues

[elib257]

Hello Everybody. I think this is more of an advice and support thread rather than a 'how to'.

I'm in my early 20's, I've got a law degree, I'm taking a year out to think about my options and working in a bra shop in the meantime. So that's me in a nutshell.

I have a healthy social life, lots of acquaintences and group of about 10 friends and 2 very close friends (although these relationships are a little strained at the moment for other reasons which is really why I am writing here). I go out clubbing probably every other weekend and then go a few times to the local pub every week.

I don't drink at all at home (apart from Christmas dinner and maybe birthdays). At the pub I have a few glasses of wine etc and find it easy to stop once I feel tipsy but when I'm clubbing I get absolutely wasted about 80% of the time. I don't seem to want to stop myself even though I know I can and I have before.

So, the final straw came this weekend on my work's christmas do when I got more drunk than I'd even been before and made a complete fool of myself. Apparently we nearly got into a fight (although it wasn't just me and it certainly wasn't my fault I've been told), this is completely out of character because I just wouldn't back down and usually I am the peacemaker. I also kissed and groped a man in the middle of the dancefloor and had about 6 different men texting me the day after. I can't remember any of it.

I've decided that I might have a problem with drink, or if I don't have one yet then I am on course for developing one. So because of this I have decided to become tee-total. I know this is extreme but my dad is tee-total and my mum drinks about one glass of wine a week so it's normal to me. I don't think it will be forever and I haven't set a definate time limit but I think probably about a year to start with.

So I come to the thrust of the thread. Is anybody/has anybody been in a similar situation? Know somebody who is/has been in a similar situation? Has/had a problem with alcohol? Has anybody any tips on how to stay tee-total? Or any general discussion concerning alcohol, alcoholism etc.

I look forward to your input.

 

[photo_chick]

My parents and my brother are all alcoholics. I do drink, but I will not drink in a party situation. I can have a glass of wine with dinner or a cocktail with friends or even a drink at home after work and stop, but in a party/club situation, I tend to loose track of how much I've had to drink and go until I get sick and / or do things that I shouldn't and won't remember.

So for what it's worth, I understand your situation and I understand wanting to restrict yourself. If I ever thought that it was becoming more of a problem, I would quit entirely, as you have.

 

[elib257]

My parents and my brother are all alcoholics. I do drink, but I will not drink in a party situation. I can have a glass of wine with dinner or a cocktail with friends or even a drink at home after work and stop, but in a party/club situation, I tend to loose track of how much I've had to drink and go until I get sick and / or do things that I shouldn't and won't remember.

So for what it's worth, I understand your situation and I understand wanting to restrict yourself. If I ever thought that it was becoming more of a problem, I would quit entirely, as you have.

Thanks for the input photo_chick. I think you make a good point about changing when YOU feel there is a problem. Many of my friends drink as much as me and do the kind of things I do but see no problem with it. It's a very personal issue.

 

[Guest]

Go to a meeting of AA, or any 12 step group.

Take a good look around. See how much of yourself you can see in the others.

Listen to people.

Blackout drinking is pretty serious.

What you may see at that meeting might give you an indication of where you could end up.

 

[elib257]

Go to a meeting of AA, or any 12 step group.

Take a good look around. See how much of yourself you can see in the others.

Listen to people.

Blackout drinking is pretty serious.

What you may see at that meeting might give you an indication of where you could end up.

That came as a bit of a shock! I'd never even thought of going there. It's a fantastic idea. I think support is really important and definitely seeing where I could be in a few years time or even sooner would be an eyeopener. Thankyou.

 

[cloudy]

I'm not an alcoholic - in fact, I rarely drink at all - but I live on a reservation, and I deal with alcoholism every single day. It's epidemic on reservations...I'm not sure if it's genetic, or a by-product of a climate of despair and poverty, or a combination of the two, but it's a huge problem.

I think a support group is a great idea. Without one, you may not stick with your plans. For what it's worth, I don't think you're an alcoholic, but a binge drinker, which can be just as harmful. Binge drinking can turn into alcoholism, though, so you're smart to catch yourself now.

Good luck.

 

[elib257]

Thankyou Samantha. I've just been on the website and I think it would be really useful at least to go and see if they can help me. I know they do great work.

As for the comment about just stopping, I know! Without wanting to sound rude, I know I should just stop and I know I can just stop. My problem is that I don't. I can't explain it, define it or excuse it. That is the essence of the problem and is wy I think that AA would be a good idea for me. I know there must be hidden meanings and underlying issues that I need to face up to.

Thankyou for the input though

 

[elib257]

I'm not an alcoholic - in fact, I rarely drink at all - but I live on a reservation, and I deal with alcoholism every single day. It's epidemic on reservations...I'm not sure if it's genetic, or a by-product of a climate of despair and poverty, or a combination of the two, but it's a huge problem.

I think a support group is a great idea. Without one, you may not stick with your plans. For what it's worth, I don't think you're an alcoholic, but a binge drinker, which can be just as harmful. Binge drinking can turn into alcoholism, though, so you're smart to catch yourself now.

Good luck.

Thankyou cloudy. That's definitely the right definition and it's certainly just as harmful. I agree with everything you've said.

Thankyou everybody, I'm really pleased with all of the comments so far.

 

[Weird Harold]

As for the comment about just stopping, I know! Without wanting to sound rude, I know I should just stop and I know I can just stop. My problem is that I don't. I can't explain it, define it or excuse it. That is the essence of the problem and is wy I think that AA would be a good idea for me. I know there must be hidden meanings and underlying issues that I need to face up to.

I am a Reformed Lush -- I'm NOT an alcoholic 'cause I never went to no meetin's.

AA is a very good resource for those with serious drinking problems, but I found their approach to be a one-size-fits-all, all-or-nothing approach that simply didn't suit my needs becaue I was only very slightly more problematic than you seem to be.

My major problem with alcohol was that I can't stop after a certain point -- 2 1/2 beers (2 Imp Pints), or three shots, or thereabouts and I lose most of my sense of responsiblity and any ability to say NO to more alcohol.

I woke up one morning about 30 years ago with a severe hangover and muttered "Never, again!" -- and for the very first time, I meant that perenniel complaint as literal truth and have been mostly sober since then -- I've fallen off the wagon a few times and stepped down for a special occasions once or twice, but I've essentially become a permanent "designated driver" in social situations.

You'll find that turning down the offer of a drink from your friends the hardest part about going on the wagon -- wearing a designated driver button or badge helps nowadays, but you'll be under a lot of social pressure to "have just one."

I eventually had to find other entertainments than Pubs/Bars because of that pressure from "happy drunks" who take the refusal of a drink as a personal insult.

It took several years to come to an accomodation with my friends who still drank about pressuring me to drink with them and I lost a few "friends" in the proccess.

You have to set an iron-clad limit on what you will drink and under what circumstances -- One beer with the meal at a backyard BBQ, one glass of wine with a formal Dinner, A glass of champagne to toast the bride and groom, etc -- and you must stick by that iron-clad limit like going one sip past it was deadly poison.

A beer with the guys while watching a game on TV, a wine or cocktail while socializing before dinner, and those types of situations, should be avoided -- a glass of plain Ginger Ale or other Mixer looks like a drink without being a "drink" and will get you through those kind of situations without undue pressure.

Most of all, you just have to learn to say, "No, thanks, I'll have a soda instead" and make your friends believe you mean it.

 

[elib257]

WeirdHarold, that was a brilliant post. I think it's so important to talk to people who have been/are going through similar situations and I've taken heed of the tips.

I particularly liked the comment about AA, it's interesting to hear something less than completely positive about AA (although I took it from your post that you thought it was a good idea in some circumstances, just not yours/ours). Still, I think I'm going to try it because you never know how it might affect you. Something might just click.

I have just one question, do you miss is? Can you still see the positives about drinking? What is it like being around people who are drinking when you are stone-cold sober, in terms of how much sense they make, how disgusting they look? I know that's a leading question but I really have very little idea; the sad fact is that since being about 16 I have never really been in a social situation (be it a meal, the pub, clubbing, weddings etc) without having at least some alcohol in my system.

 

[Weird Harold]

I particularly liked the comment about AA, it's interesting to hear something less than completely positive about AA (although I took it from your post that you thought it was a good idea in some circumstances, just not yours/ours). Still, I think I'm going to try it because you never know how it might affect you. Something might just click.

My problem with AA is that they believe that any "drinking problem" is equivalent to Alcoholism and that the only remedy is complete and total abstinence. I just don't agree that total and complete abstinence is necessary for most alcoholics, let alone problem drinkers and AA doesn't have much to offer someone who can "have just one."

I have just one question, do you miss it? Can you still see the positives about drinking?

I see a lot fewer positives about drinking than I did before I reformed, but unlike AA, I do believe there are times and places where a drink it is appropriate and almost mandatory -- toasting the Bride and Groom, for example; that doesn't mean chugging a beer with every toast, just taking a polite sip.

What I miss the most is the flavor of a good beer and the aroma of a good whiskey. I don't miss the dizzyness and the hangovers that come with the alcohol content that goes with those flavors and aromas.

What is it like being around people who are drinking when you are stone-cold sober, in terms of how much sense they make, how disgusting they look? I know that's a leading question but I really have very little idea; the sad fact is that since being about 16 I have never really been in a social situation (be it a meal, the pub, clubbing, weddings etc) without having at least some alcohol in my system.

Drunks are a LOT less amusing to sober people than they are to other drunks.

But, as I mentioned earlier, the real problem with being sober around drunks is that they must feel threatened by sobriety; the drunker they get, the pushier they get about offering you drinks -- I've had "friends" spike my Coca Cola when I wasn't looking because I refused the offer of Rum when I was looking.

 

[ronaele2006]

I rarely drink alcohol myself. Maybe a glass of wine a week. I have an uncle that's an alcoholic, and have dated a guy that's one. Some drink for the taste, and others for the effect. I really never got used to the taste... and the effect scares me, so I never became one. Then there's the company. Some feel forced to drink because of the company. Either way, you'll make it. Just look at these things, and like the others have said... spend some time looking at yourself. Hey you can take it the way some smokers do & find something to do with your hands. Good luck!

 

[emap]

I've been there myself. I worked in a bar, well now it would be called a club but then it was just a happenin bar. Anyway I was a waitress, and I was bought shots. After awhile it sorta turned into what i did when to a bar or club, I would have drinks, take guys out into the alley, into the bathroom or their car in the parking lot. The sex wasn't happening because I was drunk, well some of it at least was anyway.

I had a blowjob contest one night, I don't recall who won, I kinda think it was ruled a tie because there weren't that many guys able to perform at the time. I ended up having a string of boyfriends because I would start dating him then his roommate or friend would put a few drinks in me and I'd be in their bed. Not all of the sleeping with others was from drinks, I wasn't the most wonderful of girlfriends.

I finally stopped drinking though because of one thing, well I suppose morning would be a better term for it. I woke up next to a guy who would make a dog look like a god. I'm not that big on dogs but he seriously was that ugly. Just the memory of him has kept me off drinks since.

I do miss the taste sometimes, and being in a bar sober with all of those drunks is really not that fun, or nice or well let's just say I won't work in a bar anymore. Not to mention some of the things I have seen, and probably did myself.

Ever see those gals who are practically glued to the bar, or dancing but not really because they are so drunk? Ever listened to one? They tend to tell guys who sit next to them, buy me a drink and I'll give you a blowjob, or when asked saying yesh let's have a drink then we'll have sexsh. Prostitutes look down on these women, they are doing the same thing, but for a beer.

Not saying your there, you would know if you were, though your getting close I think. Best to just not go to a bar or club anymore because they are not fun without drinks. I have no idea how a designated driver handles it because the jokes are horrid, the men tend to be gropey and the smell is really bad.

The only time i come near to alchohol anymore is when I am cooking with it. I tend to hold my breath while pouring because it always makes me think of that guy I woke up next to.

 

[littlebitshe]

I don't drink often at all (maybe 3-5 times a year), but at one point I was drinking heavily every weekend. I noticed that when I would drink heavily, it was because friends were constantly buying and handing me another drink/shot. I would lose count of how many I had and I felt that I had to drink it because they bought it for me. So, I would lose control of my drinking. Some of my friends were alcoholics and would push me to drink as much as they did... probably to make themselves feel better about being such heavy drinkers.

Anyhow, I gained control over my drinking by not hanging out with these friends as often. So of them, like the heavy drinking alcoholics, I stopped hanging out with completely. Now, I hardly ever drink but when I do it's 1-2 drinks and I'm done. It's usually in a restaurant or home setting.... not the home party or club. But, I do still go to those places and not drink at all. I don't have people shoving drinks in my face every 10 minutes and that is what makes the difference.

This is just what I experienced.... your friends might not be the same. But, it's a good idea to take that into perspective and see if they are part of the reason that you drink more than you would like to.

Good luck Sweetie!

 

[elib257]

Thanks for all of the comments.

I'm particularly taking on board the 'friends' thing. I think I'm beginning to realise that there is a pressure to drink when you're with certain friends and in certain situations. That's probably why I drink less at the pub than clubs because it's generally a different set of friends and a different atmosphere. There's a lot of pressure in clubs because of the cheap drinks and emphasis on shots etc.

I also liked the distinction between taste and effect. I think for me the tasting happens mainly in the pub situation where I'd be more likely to drink a beer or nice wine. In clubs it would definitely be vodka or whisky or shots, which if I'm honest I don't really like so it follows that I must be drinking for the effect. But the effect isn't getting me anywhere if you see what I mean. I could be heading in the direction of the girl that prostitutes look down upon. Although I must emphasise that I've only ever had two one night stands and neither were caused by alcohol misuse. That doesn't mean that it won't happen in the future if I don't stop now.

It's dawning on me that I might have to change my whole social life and circle of friends. That's a scary prospect as I'm sure you can imagine. But it has to be done.

 

[southernsky]

Short term solutions are to always keep a drink in your hand, sip SLOWLY, and generally make it look like you're drinking a lot when you aren't. I like the long-term solutions presented already.

 

[LukkyKnight]

Blackout? That's a problem.

If it's really situational another solution is to designate yourself as the driver, but you're getting much better advice from others already so think of that as a fall-back explanation you can offer so you don't have to make excuses for your behavior later.

Be careful. It's tough enough to be you that so far nobody else has even applied to replace you, ya know?

 

[SweetErika]

My dad, and nearly everyone on his side of the family are problem or binge drinkers. I can be too - it's a behavior I learned as a teen when alcohol was harder to get, so when we did get our hands on some, we made sure we felt the effects. I'm sure genetics also play a role for me.

Fortunately, I got my mom's genes too, and I usually can't handle drinking much without getting a major headache and generally feeling terrible. This is becoming more and more apparent as I get older - the same glass of wine or cocktail that caused me no (problems before now makes me feel awful.

So, that's a built-in control mechanism for me, but I completely understand having the desire to drink more and more after a few drinks. I've thought about why I have trouble stopping and believe it's likely a combination of getting into bad habits early and my brain not realizing I don't need so much to keep my buzz/high going. It's like I always think I need way more than I really do, and as I drink more, I have less of an idea about where I am and when I need to stop.

Right now, I might average one drink a week - a beer with dinner, some irish cream in hot cocoa when it snows, a few glasses of wine over the entire Thanksgiving afternoon and evening, etc. It's not something I usually want or need, and I often go months without wanting alcohol at all. It's rare for me to drink when we go out, probably because I always want to make sure there's a designated driver and I have a problem with spending $8 on a glass of wine when I could have a much better one for $1-2 at home.

When I know I'm going to be in a situation where I'll want more than a couple of drinks, I'll decide on how much I can have ahead of time and alternate with non-alcoholic drinks, like a big glass of water or iced tea. I might also tell someone who's responsible and not drinking much/at all (e.g. my husband) to remind me I've had enough. They're not responsible for my choices or actions, but if I ask for that reminder, I'll almost certainly heed it when it comes; just the knowledge that someone else knows I've set a limit is usually enough to keep me in line without any action from them at all.

Staying sober and watching others get drunk definitely makes me think twice about drinking to excess. Sometimes it's amusing (even more so than drinking with them), but more often than not I realize I don't want to be seen by others that way.

I've never had other adults pressure me about drinking when I've chosen to abstain or drink very little, but then I can't see myself choosing to spend time with people who don't support me in making healthy choices for myself in general. If I thought I'd encounter resistance, I'd likely come up with some responses ahead of time, like:

- I've decided to decrease my alcohol intake for health reasons (diet, headaches, stomach problems, liver function, mood, etc.).
- Alcohol just doesn't sound good to me tonight.
- I'm not in the mood to drink (for more than one drink, etc.)
- My last few hangovers have put me off alcohol for a while.
- I've decided to put the money I used to spend on drinking into X, Y and Z.
- I'm taking a medication/supplement that doesn't mix well with alcohol (this is true for a lot of psychiatric drugs, OTC and prescription pain relievers, some herbs/supplements, antibiotics, etc.).

I think realizing you have a problem and taking meaningful action (like your decision to abstain for a time, and even starting this thread) is a good part of the battle. I don't really know you, but I'm proud of you for doing what's best for yourself and hope you get to where you want to be, all the same. Best of luck to you.

 

[Weird Harold]

I've never had other adults pressure me about drinking when I've chosen to abstain or drink very little, but then I can't see myself choosing to spend time with people who don't support me in making healthy choices for myself in general. If I thought I'd encounter resistance, I'd likely come up with some responses ahead of time, like:

You've ben lucky in not being pressured by pushy drunks -- but then a lot of the trouble I had in that regard were at "squadron parties" or "shop parties" where I didn't really get to pick who was around me.

I have found that it's usually to be polite, blunt, and then rude if necessary.

"No, Thanks. This soda is just fine."

"No, thank you, I'm a Reformed Lush and can't drink alcohol."

"Reformed Lush is a polite way of saying I'm an alcoholic; you wouldn't pressure a diabetic to eat frosting, would you? Why are you pressuring me to do something just as bad for my health?"

I seldom have to resort to version three, bu I have had to use it more than once.

 

[SweetErika]

You've ben lucky in not being pressured by pushy drunks -- but then a lot of the trouble I had in that regard were at "squadron parties" or "shop parties" where I didn't really get to pick who was around me.

You're right, it's a lot more difficult with coworkers, and others one can't choose not to associate with, than it is with friends.

My husband has had a similar experience with his boss and coworker. The coworker in particular is absolutely a problem/major binge drinker - one who gets even more rude, mean, pushy and stupid than he usually is (which is quite a feat!). He chooses where to drink based on how far they are from home and many cops are likely to be around so he can drive drunk. On more than one occasion he's berated my husband for not drinking, started physical fights and been a real asshole when my guy wouldn't let him get behind the wheel.

The business they're in requires socializing, and it's very common for people to use alcohol to get info and settle deals. That seems to make some people in the industry think they have a license to overindulge in a variety of ways. All my husband can really do is ignore the pressure, limit his own intake (he often drinks incredibly slow and switches between beer and soda), offer to be a D.D. and make sure he always has a safe way to get home.

 

[In Anticipation]

I think you are in a more positive position in that it seems alcoholism isn't in your family.

My partner has been through similar things, when I was in my twenties I guess I drank mostly beer, which is fairly self regulating in terms of how much you can take in, although I know it can bring its own problems.

She will still binge once every couple of months, but doesn't drink very much in between. It's easy to get into the habit of opening a bottle of wine with a meal and finishing it, then maybe opening another. I think though that she has cut down mostly as a result in changes in her social life as she got older. I'm not sure that is helpful to you.

What you have to ask yourself is whether you can set yourself a limit and stick to it, or whether it is more realistic to not drink at all when you are going out. If you are getting to the point where you don't remember things the morning after, that is a real sign you have to do something about it. You are likely to be putting yourself in danger that way, sooner or later something bad will happen.

I'm often driving, so have a good reason not to drink.

At least we don't seem to have the 'problem' of cheap drinks down here in London though.

If you want to discuss it privately, let me know, I don't want to post everything here . . .

 

[elib257]

Wow, I'm sort of overwhelmed with the responses. I'm taking them in and will post later when it's all settled. Thankyou

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I come from a long line of Irish alcoholics. I have a higher tolerance to alcohol than I should and have never in my life had a hangover of any description and believe me I should have.

I got into quite heavy drinking at uni. I was training as a nurse, working long shifts and got into the 'work hard, play hard' ethos of it all. As a student, I had access to union bars selling subsidised booze (this is in the UK.) I could get a pint of lager, cider or 'snakebite' (a lethal mix of half lager and half cider) for £1 ($2.) I regularly got so pissed I couldn't remember half of what had happened.

I got to a point where I had to pick my uni course or my binge drinking lifestyle and fortunately I made the right choice. I had health issues that made it a no brainer.

It's sad to say that you need to alter your circle of friends but I found that when I announced that I was cutting right back on the drink they were fine up to a point but saw me as a killjoy and as judgemental of their choices. I suppose I was but it was difficult to refuse drinks or avoid buying in rounds and keeping up with everyone else. I got invited out less and I enjoyed it less when I went. It's no fun being the only sober person in the room. It all seems a bit boring and ridiculous.

One of the most crucial things when it comes to sticking to your guns is to find something else to do. Don't sit at home feeling bored and left out. Read more, go out to the cinema or theatre, join a gym, ride a bicycle - anything. Drinking is your main hobby and if you don't want it to be any more then it needs replacing with something that you genuinely enjoy. If you join a gym because you think you should and hate every second, you won't keep it up and you'll lose morale.

I never went to AA or anything but my father has on occasion and he's a really good advert for what not to do with your life so I've kind of been spared that kind of wake-up call. It's better to learn from other people's mistakes than your own sometimes.

So these days I limit myself to 3 bottles of red wine a week. That equates to a couple of glasses each night but I rarely drink that much. Having a personal limit that I feel comfortable with is good for me. Occasionally I'll have a whiskey but only after a meal.

This allows me to be sociable and also when I stopped drinking for a while I got mixed responses when I said 'I don't drink anymore.' Some people (not your closest mates obviously) assume that this means you've been a total alcoholic to the point of hitting meths swigging, gutter inhabiting rock bottom - which I find offensive. Either that or they thought I was some puritannical neo-christian. So it saves people getting all interested in your 'sob story' and making an issue out of it if you drink a little bit.

Wish you all the best.

 

[Mansa Musa]

Hello Everybody. I think this is more of an advice and support thread rather than a 'how to'.

I'm in my early 20's, I've got a law degree, I'm taking a year out to think about my options and working in a bra shop in the meantime. So that's me in a nutshell.

I have a healthy social life, lots of acquaintences and group of about 10 friends and 2 very close friends (although these relationships are a little strained at the moment for other reasons which is really why I am writing here). I go out clubbing probably every other weekend and then go a few times to the local pub every week.

I don't drink at all at home (apart from Christmas dinner and maybe birthdays). At the pub I have a few glasses of wine etc and find it easy to stop once I feel tipsy but when I'm clubbing I get absolutely wasted about 80% of the time. I don't seem to want to stop myself even though I know I can and I have before.

So, the final straw came this weekend on my work's christmas do when I got more drunk than I'd even been before and made a complete fool of myself. Apparently we nearly got into a fight (although it wasn't just me and it certainly wasn't my fault I've been told), this is completely out of character because I just wouldn't back down and usually I am the peacemaker. I also kissed and groped a man in the middle of the dancefloor and had about 6 different men texting me the day after. I can't remember any of it.

I've decided that I might have a problem with drink, or if I don't have one yet then I am on course for developing one. So because of this I have decided to become tee-total. I know this is extreme but my dad is tee-total and my mum drinks about one glass of wine a week so it's normal to me. I don't think it will be forever and I haven't set a definate time limit but I think probably about a year to start with.

So I come to the thrust of the thread. Is anybody/has anybody been in a similar situation? Know somebody who is/has been in a similar situation? Has/had a problem with alcohol? Has anybody any tips on how to stay tee-total? Or any general discussion concerning alcohol, alcoholism etc.

I look forward to your input.

You´re British and binge drinking is a British trademark (Continental European stereotype, but my monthly visits to Köln bears out that theory). From my experience, British binge drinking is caused by social nervousness, exacerbated by peer pressure and (often) a desire to "let your hair down". Long story short, you´re an adult. If your main problem is binge drinking in clubs, you´re old enough to be able to say "No, thank you." If a man´s offering the drink, you can flatter him in any matter that you wish, while turning down the proffered bevvy. If it´s one of your female friends, then you can choose to be more blunt. I don´t see a reason for seeking professional help, in your case. As long as you´re willing to act your age, you´ll be able to enjoy a night out without having to endure the inevitable hangovers and strange leftover scent of cologne on your other pillow.

 

[Guest]

That came as a bit of a shock! I'd never even thought of going there. It's a fantastic idea. I think support is really important and definitely seeing where I could be in a few years time or even sooner would be an eyeopener. Thankyou.

I'm not saying you are an alcoholic, or will become one.

Someone mentioned "problem drinker" there are varying degrees of the disease of alcoholisim, just as many as there are different kinds of people.

However, as a preventative, it certainly doesn't hurt to see a "might have been".

Good luck, and bravo for recognising the need to "adjust" things.