Alcohol and BDSM

[Marquis]

Feel free to join us. Hell of a drive for coffee.

Well I'd have to decline of course, but I do like to be invited!

 

[Aeroil]

Oh shoot me now, I just found myself nodding and agreeing with aeroil. For me it doesn't work. The two bdsm clubs I know of fairly well do not allow alcohol or recreational drugs on the premises and will not allow you in if you appear to be inebriated. BUT they are social clubs, not clubs like the Vault or whatever. I know a guy who doesn't get drunk but he will once in a great while have a beer with dinner of a Saturday before going to the club. His sub doesn't really seem to mind, but then again, there's a few hours between drinking and beating. However, playing under the influence is your choice; if you trust the person and don't mind the edgieness of the scene, go for it. I consider it an edge play sort of thing, and it's not an edge I want to play with!

. hehehe, once you learn my language you can decipher my nonsense and see that there is actually some good stuff in there.

 

[Nyte_BlackRose]

Feel free to join us. Hell of a drive for coffee.

We should at some point figure out the whens and wheres of this coffee tasting. Then again, I don't know just how far we are from you....

 

[Sir_Winston54]

As a non-indulger in "recreational pharmaceuticals," ever since I figured out it was more fun for me to have complete control over my mind and body, those are out of the equation entirely.

Regarding alcohol, I might have a session a couple of hours after having had a drink with dinner, but not more than that. The level of my sessions requires a great deal of awareness and control of my actions and the implements I utilize, unless I'm willing to inflict unintentional damage or pain. Since I don't wish to do that, control takes precedence over all else.

Of course, being the son of an abusive, belligerent, controlling, domineering, alcoholic son of a bitch may have something to do with my distaste for lack of control due to ingestion of alcohol, too...

Edited to note: Okay, how do I balance that with the "Dom-space" I sometimes get into (and would like to get into more often)? Well... it's not quite the same sensation as I understand subspace to be. For me, it's more a hyper-awareness of what I'm doing, and what is happening to/with the person under my hand (so to speak), than the floaty, "lost in space" sensation many pyls have reported.

 

[Nyte_BlackRose]

As a non-indulger in "recreational pharmaceuticals," ever since I figured out it was more fun for me to have complete control over my mind and body, those are out of the equation entirely.

Regarding alcohol, I might have a session a couple of hours after having had a drink with dinner, but not more than that. The level of my sessions requires a great deal of awareness and control of my actions and the implements I utilize, unless I'm willing to inflict unintentional damage or pain. Since I don't wish to do that, control takes precedence over all else.

Of course, being the son of an abusive, belligerent, controlling, domineering, alcoholic son of a bitch may have something to do with my distaste for lack of control due to ingestion of alcohol, too...

Edited to note: Okay, how do I balance that with the "Dom-space" I sometimes get into (and would like to get into more often)? Well... it's not quite the same sensation as I understand subspace to be. For me, it's more a hyper-awareness of what I'm doing, and what is happening to/with the person under my hand (so to speak), than the floaty, "lost in space" sensation many pyls have reported.

I agree with you here. I really think that altering the awareness in a negative way is unsafe and undesirable, though I can respect that some would want it, just not me. I can also see how your past effects your thoughts on it, as anyone's past effects their thoughts on anything.

I agree with your description here of the difference of top space vs. bottom space, as that is the difference that I have experienced. I can't say I have ever really been into a bottom space per se, but as a masochist as well as a sadist, I have experienced a bit of the floaty, happy, lost in warm velvet or water feeling. Top space to me is a hyper sensitivity to what I am feeling, as well as the sub, though most outside things lose clarity and focus to me.

An interesting aside, we have been focusing on depressants (i.e. alcohol and weed), and while I would disagree with this as well, what about the effect of extreme stimulants, such as cocaine or speed?

 

[Silverlily]

Of course, being the son of an abusive, belligerent, controlling, domineering, alcoholic son of a bitch may have something to do with my distaste for lack of control due to ingestion of alcohol, too...

Interesting. My father was also an alcoholic. He was not exactly what I would call an attentive father, but he was the sappy, weepy, "man I love you" kind of drunk. To this day that sort of behaviour in a man for any reason turns my stomach. Want to see the ultra-sadist side of me? Pull the eleventh hour "I love you" crap.

As for myself, I have strict rules about alcohol, when, where, and how much. I refuse to accept his weakness as my own.

An interesting aside, we have been focusing on depressants (i.e. alcohol and weed), and while I would disagree with this as well, what about the effect of extreme stimulants, such as cocaine or speed?

Speed is my nemisis. The only drug I ever saw any appeal in, for while on speed, I am god. That alone makes it too dangerous to ever use in any setting, much less a scene.

 

[Nyte_BlackRose]

Interesting. My father was also an alcoholic. He was not exactly what I would call an attentive father, but he was the sappy, weepy, "man I love you" kind of drunk. To this day that sort of behaviour in a man for any reason turns my stomach. Want to see the ultra-sadist side of me? Pull the eleventh hour "I love you" crap.

As for myself, I have strict rules about alcohol, when, where, and how much. I refuse to accept his weakness as my own.






Speed is my nemisis. The only drug I ever saw any appeal in, for while on speed, I am god. That alone makes it too dangerous to ever use in any setting, much less a scene.

Makes a lot of sense. I could see someone on an upper quicly and easily going too far, without realizing it. It would also be way to easy to ego-trip I would think.

I thought you were headed to bed though?

 

[Silverlily]

I thought you were headed to bed though?

No, the little Lilies (ie. kidlets) were going to bed. I wasn't sure if I would be back tonight.

Please, the last time I went to bed at 10, it was 10 am.

 

[Nyte_BlackRose]

No, the little Lilies (ie. kidlets) were going to bed. I wasn't sure if I would be back tonight.

Please, the last time I went to bed at 10, it was 10 am.

Ahhhhh I misunderstood Welcome back then

I have funny, but disturbing memories of neighbors who were serious coke heads. They would get all jacked up on it, then start having sex... going all damned night, bitching the whole time after an hour or so that they couldn't cum. It was funny at times, annoying at others, and often downright disturbing, as they argued quite loudly about it, while still banging away.

 

[witcha]

I've a pretty low alcohol tolerance and messed enough with painkillers and such a few years ago..so now I would under no circumstances participate in an y kind of play if I drank or took anything..Due to some past experiences I still find safewordinf or even simply communicating during ply extremely hard. After a drink or 2 I get too relaxed and that could result in me allowing to get myself hurt..

As for a Dom-same rules..no drinking or drugs...Guy needs to be able to have an eye on my reactions(not only safe words), so again if he was drunk or stoned..I'd prolly end up hurt more than ever before..Tho the difficult part with this is the fact that when I see someone drunk and behaving in aggressive way I immediately cave in..meaning I'd most probably let him do whatever he wanted coz my sick mind would classify it as a rescue before being beaten up in a no BDSM style...

 

[Killishandra]

I've never had drunken sex, but I want to... Even if it's just to see if it's really as bad as my friends tell me it is.

Anyway, throw BDSM into that... hmmm well, I would feel more comfortable if I were the drunk one, and much much less comfortable if he were drunk. It would depend on the level of play, the level of trust, and of course.... the blood-alcohol level.

 

[ownedsubgal]

once again i don't understand what's the big deal about drinking and engaging in bdsm and/or sexual activities, especially within an established or committed relationship and especially when the submissive is the one inebriated. Daddy and i only attend lifestyle clubs/parties where alcohol is served, simply because he does not like having to restrict himself. if he wants a drink, he wants to be able to have a drink. if he wishes me to be tipsy or stone cold drunk, he wants that option available as well. although my Master drinks very little (never enough to effect him one way or the other), it is not unusual for him to purposely get me buzzed or even drunk, because he enjoys the effect it has on me. He likes how it enhances my vulnerability. in public, 3 strong drinks will strip me of my usual paralyzing shyness, making it emotionally bareable for me to be in very social situations, even to interact with others (like talking and such). in private, he sometimes enjoys that whole drunken rape thing that Marquis mentioned...when i've had so much to drink that i'm fading in and out of awareness, or even passed out completely, and he can just take his pleasure and aggression out on my limp, helpless body. this isn't something he wants all the time, but like a rich, 1,000 calorie dessert...indulging every once in a while is quite the treat.

 

[Marquis]

12345

 

[ownedsubgal]

: ek:

oops!! that was supposta be an IM

(and no wonder he still hasn't called)

 

[Marquis]

OSG, we're going to have to have a talk about this, you better not make a liar out of me.

 

[DVS]

I said it doesn't matter. The reason I said that is because two people should know enough about each other to be able to relax and be themselves. If you know enough about someone that drinking isn't a good thing for them, that's one thing. If you play with them, and let them beat on you, while they are drunk, then I'd say it's your fault, too.

I've done drugs in my day. I'm not one to like being out of control. Because I'm this way, I don't do ANYTHING to the point I'm out of control. I drink very little. You could almost say I don't drink at all.

Even with the drugs that I did, I was always in control. For those of you who have never tried it, pot is quite the aphrodisiac. Just don't go overboard, and get labled a stoner. Those are the problem crowd. When I was high, you could never tell.

Again, know the people you play with. Understand their personalities and you won't have a problem. If you let someone you don't know tie you up and beat you? Don't just blame them, if they get out of control. SS&C is everybody's business.

 

[catalina_francisco]

why people would want to mix the two. I don't need that kind of relaxation (as I have had problems with alcohol in my past) so I don't think I could safely mix them even if I wanted to.

NOT only that but I wouldn't feel SAFE, either Topping or bottoming.

I think for many it is a case of 'it can't happen to me'. I knew of a couple who were playing while both under the influence. She was tied to the bed, he was doing some light flogging...romantic setting, candlelight and music....until he accidentally lost balance in his inebriated state and knocked some of the candles onto the bed. She was unable to release herself, the drink and shock of what was happening rendered him incapable of releasing her, and the bedding was not very fire resistant. End result was the whole room went up in flames before the fire brigade was able to get there....he was burned extensively, she died. He spent a few years in prison for manslaughter and has never gotten over what happened and doesn't drink at all anymore. Seems so easy to avoid.

Catalina

 

[Etoile]

it is not unusual for him to purposely get me buzzed or even drunk, because he enjoys the effect it has on me. He likes how it enhances my vulnerability. in public, 3 strong drinks will strip me of my usual paralyzing shyness, making it emotionally bareable for me to be in very social situations, even to interact with others (like talking and such). in private, he sometimes enjoys that whole drunken rape thing that Marquis mentioned...when i've had so much to drink that i'm fading in and out of awareness, or even passed out completely, and he can just take his pleasure and aggression out on my limp, helpless body. this isn't something he wants all the time, but like a rich, 1,000 calorie dessert...indulging every once in a while is quite the treat.

This is kind of how it is for me, too. A couple of drinks can get me pretty drunk, and although we don't often go out, it makes me less afraid to say stuff when we're together. I often worry about saying "the right thing(s)" and when I'm buzzed I am more likely to just answer without concentrating too hard. I guess it's a cheap truth serum!

We have done the drunken rape, too. We went to a bar that served HUGE drinks (they cost a lot too) and just one drink had me more drunk than I think I have ever gotten. I was literally using Daddy to help myself walk home - that is, I couldn't have walked in a straight line by myself, but I didn't need to be carried - and then after we got back e gave me another drink so I wouldn't come back down too quickly. I tend to giggle when I am drunk, and I think Daddy liked seeing eir little girl flop around and laugh while she got fucked hard. (I only sort of remember this, but Daddy took pictures...I guess alcohol can also be used as a tool to help someone go through more pain than they could normally take without being scarred by it, simply because they don't remember.)

osg, next time we get together, maybe your Daddy will let me buy you some drinks.

 

[O'Mac]

What's with everyone treating acohol as if it's some sort of soul-destroying voodoo elixir?

I drink on occasion (generally restricted to weekends) and I have no problem maintaining my self-control unless I choose to go all out and drink myself to a stupor. I certainly don't need alcohol to cope with anything in my life. I just happen to like sitting down in a pub on a Saturday afternoon, watch the football, and get to the maical happy stage of inebriation with a friend or two.

As for mixing alcohol and BDSM, I don't see the harm in having a few pints before cracking the whip (so to speak), though I would agree over-intoxication would be irresponsible. Being a little tipsy mean you start to lose some inhibitions and you may find yourself doing things you normally wouldn't think of. If anything, alcohol in moderation could increase you're enjoyment.

 

[Etoile]

Being a little tipsy mean you start to lose some inhibitions and you may find yourself doing things you normally wouldn't think of.

It also slows your reaction time, which is what I figured was the dangerous part of mixing the two.

 

[canadiancutie]

So I was sitting and thinking randomly today, about fetish clubs and the like. And I was wondering what different people's opinions of mixing alcohol and BDSM were.

sXe for life. Actually I'm not a fan of the whole straight edge thing, I thinkl drawing Xs on your hands is silly, I do however abstain from pretty much everything "fun." Totally pro- prohibition

 

[Etoile]

sXe for life. Actually I'm not a fan of the whole straight edge thing, I thinkl drawing Xs on your hands is silly, I do however abstain from pretty much everything "fun." Totally pro- prohibition

I was into sXe during college, until I realized you're not supposed to have sex. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/3_eyes.gif

 

[canadiancutie]

I was into sXe during college, until I realized you're not supposed to have sex. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/3_eyes.gif

you're not supposed to drink caffeine either or eat animal products but a lot of "sXe" people seem to forget that part and it's not really no sex...it's no sex outside of a commited relationship

 

[graceanne]

Ok, evidently I voted no, but I'm not sure why. Kenny occasionally has a few beers (with his tolerance it takes at least 6 to get him buzzed), and he loves to get me drunk. It relaxes me, it helps me with pain control, and then again there's the 'drunken rape' thing, too.

We do have a few rules, though. If either of use have been drinking we don't do any breath play. That's cause if he's drunk he might press too hard, and if I am I might not know he's pressing too hard. And nothing happens if he's drunk. (And I get to decide whether he's drunk, since when he's drunk he doesn't think he is. )

 

[h_i_s]

i don't drink very often even outside of BDSM. i never have been much of a drinker. i like an occasional glass of wine and may drink a few mixed drinks when we go out for dinner, and/or with friends. Alcohol doesn't like *me* though. Being on the low end weight wise, it doesn't take much to get me drunk. As much as i like to drink though, i don't like hangovers, so i only drink in moderation.

During times when we are 'playing' , i get enough of a high off of all that He is doing to my body and my mind ... no reason at all for alcohol, here.