Ain't that a bitch ! ? !

[TirelessTongue]

Using one of those dating websites, I met a girl and have been talking to her for more than a week. She had pictures on the website, and physical description too. Each night we'd talk on the phone at night for 3 or 4 hours. Getting to know her better and learning more about her, we decided to meet today at the local gym which we were both members of.

Turns out that she didn't resemble her picture or physical description, so she walked right by me and I didn't even notice. Her face was slightly different than the pictures on the website, her face was more round in person. She wasn't 5'10 inches tall as she claimed to be on the website, more like 5' 7 . And to top it all off, she didn't have a "medium" build. Which is why I didn't recognize her.

Now this woman is crying why I didn't recognize her and that I didn't like the way she looked. My problem was that she had to lie and "fudge numbers". If you can't be honest on one of those websites, chance are you won't be honest in a relationship. Thats my line.

Ain't that a bitch........ And I looked forward to a dinner and a movie with this girl today

 

[NaughtyLil1]

That is a bitch. Sorry that it didn't work out.

 

[Dstorage]

Not to sound too cynical here, me being a newbie and all, but if someone was interesting enough to me to talk on the phone with for 3 or 4 hours a night, hell 3 or 4 hours just once or an hour a night for a week, maybe they would be worth spending a dinner with? I can understand being disappointed if they misrepresented themselves physically but sooner or later you'll probably find out women are good for lots of fun times that don't include sex, you may as well find it out sooner....

 

[English Lady]

Aww what a shame .....you'll never know what else she made up....that is a real shame, oh I said that already!

 

[Guest]

 

[crazybbwgirl]

People see what they want to see. I too did the internet dating thing - yipes! I was VERY honest, posted a picture, put BBW, 200 lbs. as my weight - yet the 2 of the 3 men I actually met were um, 'surprised' at my size? One's person's idea of 'medium' build or even BBW, is very different from another's. When internet dating you tend to work up a mental image - sometimes you just imagine wrong.

 

[Missingmeds]

People see what they want to see. I too did the internet dating thing - yipes! I was VERY honest, posted a picture, put BBW, 200 lbs. as my weight - yet the 2 of the 3 men I actually met were um, 'surprised' at my size? One's person's idea of 'medium' build or even BBW, is very different from another's. When internet dating you tend to work up a mental image - sometimes you just imagine wrong.

You have a very good point Crazy. The other problem with the dating sites is that most of them have only selections that you can make.

There are other things that could also cause the change in the physical description that he gave in the original post and the one that comes to mind would be if she were on Steroids of any kind and yes, there are ones that are prescribed every day for people by doctors that are totally legit.

So maybe you should have asked if there were a difference in the change in her physical looks before you got all disgusted and convinced that she is lying.

 

[sheath]

Not to sound too cynical here, me being a newbie and all, but if someone was interesting enough to me to talk on the phone with for 3 or 4 hours a night, hell 3 or 4 hours just once or an hour a night for a week, maybe they would be worth spending a dinner with? I can understand being disappointed if they misrepresented themselves physically but sooner or later you'll probably find out women are good for lots of fun times that don't include sex, you may as well find it out sooner....

I like this response.

Tireless, I don't understand. You think this girl is interesting enough to talk with her for so long, but then you don't even want to sit down and have dinner? Dinner involves talking. The same thing you have been doing on the phone for 3-4 hours a day for a week. So, unless you were just out for a quick fuck, why the hell did you turn down dinner?

It seems to me that you are basing far too much of your choice on looks alone. You get pictures, sure. But how many times have you had a picture taken that isn't a good representation of you? Looked at your driver's license lately?

Frankly, I'm surprised you cared what she looked like anyway. I go into internet friendships with no expectations. The interest builds up along the way. You might find this strange, but I have learned that after talking with someone for so long, with the intensity that you have talked with this woman, that his looks are the last thing on my mind. Like I said before, if you cared for something more than an fuck, you would have at least let her explain...and you would have let her do that over dinner.

YOU are the one who comes out looking bad after all this. Not her. Since this is an advice kind of board, here's mine:

Call her, apologize for acting like a pompous ass, and invite her to dinner at the nicest place you can get reservations. Show up early, be a perfect gentleman, and pay for everything. Then apologize in person and gently ask for an explanation. If you still have a problem with her looks and her personality, which attracted you to her in the first place, isn't enough? Apologize again. Drop her at her door with a friendly kiss on the cheek and walk away. But you can at least make up for being a jerk.

My two cents...

S.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

My FIRST internet date was a guy who called himself average size, 45 yr old, loved to dance. What I got was a guy 55, very large and a club foot (AND a harelip - but I won't go in to that!)
Obviously there was nowhere on the form for club foot and harelip - but 'loves to dance'? He could barely walk! We had a nice dinner and left it at that. Live and learn! hehehe

 

[Missingmeds]

Who's going to get more eager responses; the woman who says she's short, stocky, and round faced... or the woman who says she tall, thin, and beautiful? Face it, we're all terrified of physical rejection, so I'm sure people tend to "fudge" all the time when describing themselves on dating websites. I agree with you that maybe she should have been honest with you at some point... but at what point do you tell someone Okay, I'm really not as goodlooking as I might have led you to believe. And isn't the standard "nice" response to say that looks don't matter? I mean, isn't one of the reasons behind meeting people online is that you get to know their personality BEFORE judging them on their looks?

Honestly, if I were this girl, I would be crying too. You just spent hours and hours of time with me on the phone and decided I was worth meeting, yet you based your final decision on what I looked like. She was probably worried that you wouldn't be interested in her if she painted a more accurate picture... and lo-and-behold... you're NOT! What if you had gotten to know her based on an uglier physical description... and then in real life, she turned out to be drop-dead gorgeous??... would you still be disappointed and make the decision to reject her because of the "lie?" Maybe you'll say yes and stick to your story of being horrified that you're just disgusted with her "lying," convinced it means she lies all the time in real life, but I have to ask you if you can afford to throw that stone? Have you yourself honestly never told a white lie?

-That's a pretty hard line to take, but if you feel that strongly about brutal honesty regarding appearance, then I guess it's good you never gave her a chance. -Maybe the next girl you meet online should be forewarned to check her self-description for perfect accuracy prior to meeting you, because it's the "honesty" that's important to you... not the looks...

Actually Raventale, I don't and that is exactly why. I tell people upfront what I look like and have pictures that are redone every 3 to 4 months to send should I decide that they will keep them offline. I also am very honest about what I do and don't do, what I like and don't like. Do I still get replies from men that apparently don't believe me? You bet.

Why? I don't know. All I know is that I am not everyone's cup of tea and until I actually meet that person, talk with them and get to know them face to face, I don't reject anyone.

Now I vote that Tireless Tongue first give us a physical description of himself and then post pictures and let us see if we can find the differences between the physical description and the pictures. It is a exercise in visual versus actual. Plus as human beings we tend to color things in our favor.

 

[SweetErika]

Isn't it possible she wasn't consciously lying? You said the picture resembled her, but wasn't a good likeness. Maybe it was old or a different position or lighting or more makeup. The last time I had my height checked, I was a teenager...I THINK I'm 5'9", but I'm not positive. And let's face it...AVERAGE size is a 14-16 now. Plus, that's a subjective term... the classifications change with each person. Maybe she's gained some weight since she posted the profile. You met her at the gym, so she's obviously trying to work on herself.

I agree, give her another chance. You don't know for a fact that she was being deceptive, and you obviously get along and have something to talk about with her.

 

[TirelessTongue]

What if I fudged numbers and I lied about my appearance and the pictures I posted didn't really fit me? Would I be labeled the villian here? I'm sure I would. Honesty is always the best policy in my book. Being 29 years of age, I can pass for as young as 21 in some cases and I am 5'11 and 165lbs. I too am not perfect or even near it.

By the way, the pictures taken by her were from a camera phone. Not the best medium for taking pictures, but they came out alright. Honestly, It looked like two different people that I saw, or maybe those pictures were older.

 

[sheath]

By the way, the pictures taken by her were from a camera phone. Not the best medium for taking pictures, but they came out alright. Honestly, It looked like two different people that I saw, or maybe those pictures were older.

So...what exactly did you say to this woman? Did you tell her those things? What was her explanation?

S.

 

[SweetErika]

What if I fudged numbers and I lied about my appearance and the pictures I posted didn't really fit me? Would I be labeled the villian here? I'm sure I would. Honesty is always the best policy in my book. Being 29 years of age, I can pass for as young as 21 in some cases and I am 5'11 and 165lbs. I too am not perfect or even near it.

By the way, the pictures taken by her were from a camera phone. Not the best medium for taking pictures, but they came out alright. Honestly, It looked like two different people that I saw, or maybe those pictures were older.

I don't think you're a villian at all! If she out and out lied (saying she way 21 when she's 29, or weighs 100lbs. when she weighs 200) you shouldn't pursue it further for fear she'll lie about other things. I just think you should consider the other side...that she didn't actually lie, she just has a different perception of herself than you, and was being honest putting that perception out there.

 

[Noor]

and how come she didn't recognize you? Do you look a bit different from your picture too?

I agree with Sheath.

 

[Missingmeds]

What I want to know is what exactly was different about her? You said that her face was rounder, but other specifics was wrong about her?

I have three different photo ids and my picture looks different in all three pictures. 10 lbs is not a big deal, but depending on where it is distributed it can make a hell of a difference in the way that someone looks. Another thing would be the makeup that she has on.

I would like to see the pictures of her and any that you took if that happened.

 

[Guest]

 

[Noor]

By the way, the pictures taken by her were from a camera phone. Not the best medium for taking pictures, but they came out alright. Honestly, It looked like two different people that I saw, or maybe those pictures were older.

Camera phone! Well that leaves out doctoring one up or having a long out of date photo, camera phones have not been out that long. I have pictures of me, my face, that look completely different than others, it depends on my expression, mood and how tired I am. I have high check bones that you can really see when I smile, otherwise maybe not.

I guess the real question is what was more interesting to you, the image you saw or the person you talked to for many hours?

 

[midwestyankee]

Using one of those dating websites, I met a girl and have been talking to her for more than a week. She had pictures on the website, and physical description too. Each night we'd talk on the phone at night for 3 or 4 hours. Getting to know her better and learning more about her, we decided to meet today at the local gym which we were both members of.

Turns out that she didn't resemble her picture or physical description, so she walked right by me and I didn't even notice. Her face was slightly different than the pictures on the website, her face was more round in person. She wasn't 5'10 inches tall as she claimed to be on the website, more like 5' 7 . And to top it all off, she didn't have a "medium" build. Which is why I didn't recognize her.

Now this woman is crying why I didn't recognize her and that I didn't like the way she looked. My problem was that she had to lie and "fudge numbers". If you can't be honest on one of those websites, chance are you won't be honest in a relationship. Thats my line.

Ain't that a bitch........ And I looked forward to a dinner and a movie with this girl today

Guy, most of the women who have responded here have been far too kind to you. Face it, you got caught thinking with your dick and now you're trying to place the blame on your date.

Grow up or forget about having mature relationships.

 

[kinky shy girl]

Now this woman is crying why I didn't recognize her and that I didn't like the way she looked. My problem was that she had to lie and "fudge numbers". If you can't be honest on one of those websites, chance are you won't be honest in a relationship. Thats my line.

well, I can understand that. Internet dating can be a bitch. I get annoyed when people "fudge numbers" as well. What's the point of lying about certain details when the truth will come out anyway? I never understood why people did that. It's not like anyone expects perfection...just be honest about yourself.

 

[sheath]

Re: Re: Ain't that a bitch ! ? !

Guy, most of the women who have responded here have been far too kind to you. Face it, you got caught thinking with your dick and now you're trying to place the blame on your date.

Grow up or forget about having mature relationships.

You go, yankee! You're just so damn cool.

S.

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

its' a bitch

 

[midwestyankee]

Re: Re: Re: Ain't that a bitch ! ? !

You go, yankee! You're just so damn cool.

S.

Hey, I'm just the umpire here. I call 'em like I see 'em.

And this guy was out by a country mile. (Almost enough room between him and the tag to drive your SUV through )

 

[sheath]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Ain't that a bitch ! ? !

Hey, I'm just the umpire here. I call 'em like I see 'em.

And this guy was out by a country mile. (Almost enough room between him and the tag to drive your SUV through )

Ah, but the question is, was there enough room for him to parallel park it?

You make a good umpire, by the way.

S.

 

[KaliGrrl]

I think that you did yourself and the woman you met a disservice. As some others have said, maybe she didn't lie. She may have been completly honest from her point of view. Besides, YOU are the person who spent hours of your time getting to know this person, don't you think you owe it to your self to be totally sure that this woman did lie or "fudge the numbers"? Leaving it at this means that your time was spent for no good reason. At least find out the whole story before you decide that this woman is not right for you. You may find that, without the stress of that first face to face meeting on your shoulders, you will reconsider. Just a thought. I hope it helps.