AH Homeopathy

[scheherazade_79]

Homeopathy

–noun
the method of treating disease by drugs, given in minute doses, that would produce in a healthy person symptoms similar to those of the disease.


I haven't been here for a while, but after a brief catch-up this morning it struck me that the AH was a little like Hiroshima in the wake of Enola Gay's visit.

And it got me thinking. If we're all going to be suspicious of each other, then we may as well have just cause to do so and get some entertainment value from it in the meantime.

So, in this atmosphere of grim mistrust, I invite you all to share a lie you've told in your lifetime. It needn't be sensational and you don't have to restrict yourself to your adult years.

I expect full participation, and although it's a lie in itself, the "I've never ever lied" response won't be accepted on this thread.

 

[scheherazade_79]

My Lie

Several to choose from, but I'll go with this:

A few months ago I had a smoking accident in my car, which left me with a £2 coin-sized hole in the upholstery. It was very noticeable and couldn't have been caused by anything else other than a flying cigarette or spliff (and I plead the 5th on that one).

Panicking, I took one of my red t-shirts, cut a square out of it and did an impressive patch-up job with some needle and thread.

About a week later I was having a stoned dysfunctional day while my family were all on a shopping trip. I opened the door when they got home and my mother stared at me in disbelief. Without realising it I'd put on the tshirt with the hole cut out of it, and had a 3cm squared piece of midriff on full display.

I was asked what happened to my tshirt, and my mind went blank. Confessing what had really happened would have meant confessing about smoking, and I really didn't want to face the nagging.

So I lied - and said that I'd started making a patchwork quilt as a trial hobby, and that some of the fabric scraps (including old garments) had worked their way into my tshirt drawer by mistake...

Desperate times...

 

[neonlyte]

Smoking... the SO doesn't approve and she always knows.

 

[English Lady]

my sister and I were little (I was 8, sis about 4) and we were looking for coins round the house to play with. We found some and I ocnvinced my sister that the brown ones were wroth more than the silver ones. So I got all the silver and spent it. It's a miracle my sister trusts me at all these days.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I told some friends of my best friend that my older brother was a hitman for the mafia. It was done in a joking manner, but they were young and naive. They didn't get my sarcasm. I owned up to the joke later though...

I also claimed that a restaurant that we used to eat at all of the time used to be a strip club (the decore looked like it should have a stripped pole in one place). A few days later one of the friends that I told that to was pasing it on to someone else, and I laughed so hard I had to tell him the err or what he was saying.

I'm not good at perpetuating my lies...

 

[Trombonus]

I'm sure some people have heard me talk about my first girlfriend. She got married to someone else yesterday, and it was pretty rough on me. I've never really gotten over her, and I think part of that has to do with why we split in the first place. Maybe talking about it will help. I hope you all won't think I'm a horrible person after this.

Things had been rough for a long time towards the end. L was obsessed with getting me to marry her, and took every opportunity to remind me. I had explained to her that I wanted to get married, but not until after graduating college. She was also my first girlfriend, and the doubts about me settling on the first girl to come along came into my head. Anyway, her constant nagging about it only served to push me away more and scare me off. I was only 21 after all.

It was Spring of '03 and I was getting ready to transfer from my junior college to a four-year university. She wanted me to apply to her college (in NC), but at this point I had serious doubts about her and had pretty much decided she wasn't the one. However, I had a great fear of being alone. I felt if I let her go I'd be alone again for a long time (which I was coincidentally). So instead of telling her that I was going to a different college I lied to her and told her that I had applied to her college and was waiting for information from them. It got to the point where the music director there e-mailed me wondering where my audition tape was (she had told him I was sending one in). Eventually I got backed into a corner and had to confess. She ended it on the spot.

I was young and scared, but that was no excuse. I've punished myself for years over this, and doubt I'll ever forgive myself completely, even though she moved on quickly. I started to miss her relatively shortly after the break up, but by then it was too late. I even had a chance to get her back, but I told her she could see other people, which she did.

I'm really kicking myself for that now. Then I was in a really hard and emotionally draining relationship, and I realized how good I had it. I secretly hoped she'd be single some day and I could win her back, but sadly she never was. Why would she be? She was absolutely gorgeous.

I'm such a dumbass, but I swear to you all I learned my lesson. I will NEVER hurt another person like that again.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

I'm not really a lesbian.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm not really a lesbian.

Ah, fuck. I'm never going to believe another thing you say.

I've gotten into trouble more often for telling the truth, than for lying; The single lie that my name is Stella, has allowed me to be pretty truthful on this forum.

I had a boyfriend once who demanded that I not sleep with other guys, so I told him I wouldn't. When he found out that I was sleeping with other guys, I shrugged my shoulders-- I told him that if he wanted to break up, I wouldn't blame him, but really, I was never going to be faithful to one man. So, he kept seeing me.

 

[where]

I have told big huge lies to my mr trb so I can have a couple of liaisons. Yes I feel bad about it. Yes it makes me a bad person and no, I'm not going to stop.

Zade, good to see you