Age...How Do You Measure it?

[Misty_Morning]

Really...I need to know.


I've heard all the PR...youth is in the mind, you're as young as you feel...yatta yatta yatta.....


May through December relationships......


What is too much? What are the pitfalls? Can it REALLY last?

 

[Weird Harold]

Really...I need to know.


I've heard all the PR...youth is in the mind, you're as young as you feel...yatta yatta yatta.....

You measure by the elapsed time since birth.

Maturity and Compatibility are two entirely different subects but they're the ons you should be asking about to predict the success of May-December relationships. I have no idea how one would accurately measure those qualities.

 

[keeblercrumb]

Really...I need to know.

I've heard all the PR...youth is in the mind, you're as young as you feel...yatta yatta yatta.....

May through December relationships......

What is too much? What are the pitfalls? Can it REALLY last?

Ahhhh wellllll... you came to right place......

I have several different takes on this.....

As WH observed... maturity and compatibility.

First... Many years ago (35?), my first cousin married a man some 20 years older then herself. It was a bit of a minor scandal in the family (he already had a grown family) but that quickly disapated. They were/are extremely compatible and both were emotionally mature and reserved. They raised a son which represented the most stress in their lives, but as far as I know, their relationship has stayed strong... today she is 64 and he is in his mid-eighties and they are still doing fine. Score that one for.... Yes, it can really last!

Second.... I have 5-6 different friends who married much younger Ukranian and Russian wives; age differences typically around 25-30 years. Of course, now there is that cultural thing going on as well. But just based on these relationships.....

All are still functioning..... I have no idea if they will "last" (no bets on same age marriages either) but after my observing them for 5 years... ALL are still going strong... (except for one in which my friend died of cancer but she was there at the end for him).

One very good friend married a 20 y/o Ukranian girl when he was 44. It was his 4th marriage (all three previous were to American women). I would rate their maturity level as about equal... mostly because I think she was remarkably mature (from a solid family) and he was just now growing up. They have been married for 6 years, have two beautiful girls, (his first children) and I would rate them as highly likely to succeed. I do know he is very much aware that he will be an old fart someday and his wife will still be much younger. It motivates him to be a better and more loving husband. Call that a "yes" too but of course the jury is still out.

And me? I have had a several very serious affairs with much younger women (the last being uhhh.... 1/3 my age...).... but despite being desparately in love with one...(see http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=521511&page=submissions for a picture of THAT pain) and the first one really, truly loving me... ( I believe)... They all knew it was NOT going to last. I would be leaving someday and go back to my wife and grown family. I don't know, of course, but I suspect none of these would have lasted even if I was committed to the realtionship for life. The age thing weighed heavily on me at times...... Other times... (uhhh sex, for intance) it was great (for me, anyway) and it felt like a dream.

Maturity? Well one was very mature for her young age (22), one exactly her age (20) and one very intellectual (25) and makes it hard to tell.

Me? In the words of the old Bob Dylan ballad....

"Ahhhhh, I was so much older then, I'm younger then that now."


-KC

 

[matriarch]

Speaking as a 58 year old woman married to one of 31 years (the same age as my eldest son!)..........

We don't think about 'can it last', we only know we want it to, we know we are compatible (whatever that means), we love each other, we love being together, just the two of us, we are happier together than apart, we care deeply about and for each other.

Neither of us have any idea how long it will last - let's be honest, in this situation, health has to play a big part in any timescale, but that's way in the back of our minds.

Min's comment to me says it all...."I expect at least 30 years of 'us'." I concur, and intend to do everything in my power to achieve that.

 

[starrkers]

Really...I need to know.


I've heard all the PR...youth is in the mind, you're as young as you feel...yatta yatta yatta.....


May through December relationships......


What is too much? What are the pitfalls? Can it REALLY last?

Depends more on the people involved than anything else. If the idea that age difference may worry others is of concern to them, no it will not last. If they truly don't care about the age difference, then maybe it will.

 

[Huckleman2000]

Age...How Do You Measure it?

You cut off your leg and count the rings.

[lol, that was just a smart-ass comment that I couldn't resist.]

Seriously, this year I've moved and gone back to school, and I live in a neighborhood with some nightlife. All my new friends are much younger than me, but I think it has more to do with having life circumstances that enable us to go out and party a bit. Compatability, I think, depends a lot on how you want to live your life at the time, and your responsibilities and ability to meet them.

 

[scheherazade_79]

Really...I need to know.


I've heard all the PR...youth is in the mind, you're as young as you feel...yatta yatta yatta.....


May through December relationships......


What is too much? What are the pitfalls? Can it REALLY last?

Time passes, but the measuring of it is just an abstract concept - something we made up, like money, mortgages, pension schemes and anti-drugs laws.

I don't pay much attention to any of them. If I'm going to absorb myself in made-up things, then they may as well be interesting and enjoyable - like music and literature.

If it feels right and it makes you happy, hurts no one else and provides you with all the life support you need, then don't get hung up on the numbers.

 

[matriarch]

Time passes, but the measuring of it is just an abstract concept - something we made up, like money, mortgages, pension schemes and anti-drugs laws.

I don't pay much attention to any of them. If I'm going to absorb myself in made-up things, then they may as well be interesting and enjoyable - like music and literature.

If it feels right and it makes you happy, hurts no one else and provides you with all the life support you need, then don't get hung up on the numbers.

 

[impressive]

I don't measure it visually, that's for sure.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Really...I need to know.

I've heard all the PR...youth is in the mind, you're as young as you feel...yatta yatta yatta.....

May through December relationships......

What is too much? What are the pitfalls? Can it REALLY last?

Well, age is kind of relative. You can have someone who never grew up mentally and emotionally or you can have someone who is relatively young but is physically old because of how they treat their body. Those are a just couple that pop to mind when I try to think about whether age really matters.

I don't know about the pitfalls. I don't believe there is an age difference that is too much. Yes, it can really last as long as the couple is compatible.

I think the question is are they compatible and do they have goals in their life that can be compatible?

 

[TxRad]

Age is relative. Relative to how old you are.

When I was very young, baby's were young and teenagers were old, everyone else (adults) were ancient. That is if I ever really thought about it. Hindsight is a wonderful and dangerous thing. The school year was terrible long and summer was forever.

When i became a teenager, the young were to be ignored and old was anyone over thirty.

Being thirty was interesting. Age didn't seem to be all that important in the scheme of things.

Then that fateful day in my thirty sixth year arrived. The day I realized that my life was half over. That was scary and called for re-evaluation of a lot of things.

40 was a mile stone as was 50. Neither felt old to me. The young were now under twenty five and the old were eighty or ninety.

60 arrived along with the aches and pains of a misspent youth. If i was going to live this long, i should have taken better care of me.

Now the the year is only about eight months long. Days and even weeks disappear without a trace when you're not looking. Months have a habit of evaporating right before your eyes.

Perspective is everything.

May/Dec relations have no restrictions from the Dec's mental view point. Now the body, there's a whole new can of worms. Books could be written on this subject alone.

Maybe I'll come back and ramble on some more but first a nap.

 

[R. Richard]

One thing to think about is physical age, not chronological age.

I deal with a couple, both in their 60s. They run in 10Ks, they play tennis, etc. They can live life and they do. I deal with several people in their late 40s early 50s and they are semi-invalids. They can't walk up a flight of stairs without risking a heart attack and a walk through the park requires a couple of weeks of sore muscle recouperation. I can tell you which of the people I would like to be.

 

[slyc_willie]

I felt young and vibrant when I was in the service, then became much older once I returned to being a civilian. When I met my wife, I felt ten years younger (which would have put me at her age), and after she was gone, I became an old man.

These days, I feel like I'm getting younger every year. No one ever guesses my real age; they always think I'm in my late twenties, maybe thirty. If I can keep doing whatever I'm doing now when I'm forty, I figure I'm on the right track.

Age, for me, is defined by the experiences of my life. There are times I feel very old, but in a wizened way. And then there are times I feel much younger. The lady in my life is contributing to that latter feeling immensely.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

One thing to think about is physical age, not chronological age.

I deal with a couple, both in their 60s. They run in 10Ks, they play tennis, etc. They can live life and they do. I deal with several people in their late 40s early 50s and they are semi-invalids. They can't walk up a flight of stairs without risking a heart attack and a walk through the park requires a couple of weeks of sore muscle recouperation. I can tell you which of the people I would like to be.

I'll add to that mental age. I know people my age who are fucking old - sclerotic minds and attitudes, stuck in ruts and hanging on to old habits in every dimension of their lives.

I know I'm doing much better. Writing smut and hangin' with all you whippersnappers helps. Flirting with cutting-edge information technology and media tools in my career helps too, as does opportunities to hang with idealistic whippersnappers in that realm also. Being iconoclastic, authority-resisting and provocative contributes. Being a reader, writer and interested in what's happening in the wider world is important.

 

[Liar]

I felt young and vibrant when I was in the service, then became much older once I returned to being a civilian. When I met my wife, I felt ten years younger (which would have put me at her age), and after she was gone, I became an old man.

These days, I feel like I'm getting younger every year. No one ever guesses my real age; they always think I'm in my late twenties, maybe thirty. If I can keep doing whatever I'm doing now when I'm forty, I figure I'm on the right track.

Age, for me, is defined by the experiences of my life. There are times I feel very old, but in a wizened way. And then there are times I feel much younger. The lady in my life is contributing to that latter feeling immensely.

I've been feeling like 26 since I was 15 and spent a decade catching up. I passed 30 this year, and I still feel like 26. I wonder when I'll catch up with that.

 

[SeaCat]

Bahhhhhhh,

You're only as old as you feel. In which case I get up at 80 and go to bed at 18.

Honestly though it's all in your perspective and how you act.

My father turned 70 last january and ran a mini Triathelon. His current interest? He's thinking about getting a street bike.

A friend of mine is 30. To listen to her she should be ninety. She has the aches and pains of old age, her mind is stuck in cement. She can't envision someone having an idea that is better than hers.

Me? I'm 41 and just starting to live. Every day is an adventure and the ladies keep looking better. (INcluding my wife.)

Cat

 

[Liar]

Bahhhhhhh,

You're only as old as you feel. In which case I get up at 80 and go to bed at 18.

Not a morning person, eh?

 

[cantdog]

Many young people have decrepit ideas. There are no rules but what works for those in the circle affected.