Advise needed

[zabotage]

Hi there, i got a problem that i could use some opinions on...

So i really really fancy this girl (women) that i work with, and i have done since i met her. We have been flirting basically the last 5 months, thing is: she's engaged; now a few days ago she called me away and told me that she really fancys me too and wondered what it would be like to kiss me etc, she also said she didnt want to leave her fiance, but everytime i see her she kinda closes her eyes in frustration at the situation.
We have text each other and she says she is all confused stuff

I think what i feel for her is more than a crush or anything like that, since we had that chat i havent eaten, and ive slept about 5 hours....

what to do...?

 

[Primalex]

The result will be a fling and then she decides to be with her fiance. The only question left is, whether you would prefer to have sex with her before your heart gets broken or rather not.

 

[Somehowyou]

Go for it. sounds like it will be a great experience.

 

[insert____here]

don't shit where you eat

you've been told that she won't leave her fiance so this is either going one of two ways

a) you do the naughty and it all ends nicely....possibility nil

b) you do the naughty and it ends badly with a)her feeling guilty and making you feel like crap, or b) one of you wanting to repeat the experience while the other one freaks out in case the fiance finds out.

don't do it, save yourself the stress and maybe the chance of losing your job.

 

[zabotage]

Outlook is bleak then? , do i tell her how i feel and leave it at that or just bottle it up and live on special brew for a week or 2?

 

[CWatson]

I think telling her how you feel would make things worse. The best thing you could do, for yourself and for her, is walk away from this situation. Telling her how you feel would encourage the opposite.

 

[viper2000]

Walk away live to love another day.

 

[Somehowyou]

Now wait a second everybody. I have a few questions. 1st, are you her supervisor? 2nd, what is the policy about dating co-workers at your place of business? Is the job worth it? Are you vested? Are you an economy where you cant get another? Is this the job you want to retire from? Does she have as much to lose as you? What is her personality like? Can she keep a secret or does she air her dirty laundry over over the place like some drama queen? Ask yourself these questions. everyone is basically correct with their advice. In general, it is much better to find your sex partners outside of work. However, you ought to go out to lunch or out for a drink (if you can get away with it) and talk to her about it. You may just be her fling prior to marriage? Why not? Flings are kinda fun. I have done this several times at work and gotten away with it every time because they had as much to lose as I did.

Or you can go to your grave thinking "I should have tapped that when I had the chance." I have said that way too much in my life.

And someone commented that you are just going to have your heart broken. Oh really? Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

 

[BBW_Goddess_Anna]

Now wait a second everybody. I have a few questions. 1st, are you her supervisor? 2nd, what is the policy about dating co-workers at your place of business? Is the job worth it? Are you vested? Are you an economy where you cant get another? Is this the job you want to retire from? Does she have as much to lose as you? What is her personality like? Can she keep a secret or does she air her dirty laundry over over the place like some drama queen? Ask yourself these questions. everyone is basically correct with their advice. In general, it is much better to find your sex partners outside of work. However, you ought to go out to lunch or out for a drink (if you can get away with it) and talk to her about it. You may just be her fling prior to marriage? Why not? Flings are kinda fun. I have done this several times at work and gotten away with it every time because they had as much to lose as I did.

Or you can go to your grave thinking "I should have tapped that when I had the chance." I have said that way too much in my life.

And someone commented that you are just going to have your heart broken. Oh really? Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

You made a very good and realistic point. Howeverm, a lot of people cannot handle the casual sexual relationship with a co-worker. But then I do think this is most likely her getting married nervous last fling, while it sounds more like you are interested in something more substantial. Hope that helps.

 

[Vixandra]

Also, do not forget the possibility of her going back to her fiancee after being you. Fast forward to the company holiday (Christmas) party and pour in the alcohol. Someone's going to get drunk and it will come out. And it will probably tear him apart.

Sounds like she has pre-wedding jitters and you need to avoid her like she has the plague. Even if she's a once-in-a-lifetime fuck, if she won't leave him for you, that's all she'll be. Once, and it could cost you your job, your dignity and possibly your heart.

From a karma point of view- how would you feel if your fiancee cheated on you while you were engaged with some guy she worked with? If you loved her, it would probably hurt like hell. Wracking up that kind of karmic debt isn't a wise idea.

 

[NippleMuncher]

First, enroll yourself in some adult ed classes and learn how to write a coherent sentence.

Second, as most have said, BAD IDEA! It's not likely to be anything more than a fling for her when she's got a fiance in the wings.

Third, I agree with the "drunken Christmas party" scenario as well as all things ending badly in the work environment.

Fourth, see the first because seriously, if you're old enough to be on this site, then you're an adult, and adults DO NOT talk like prepubescent teenagers, 'cause, ya know, like, it's like way not, ya know, like cool, and shit.

 

[Somehowyou]

First, enroll yourself in some adult ed classes and learn how to write a coherent sentence.

Second, as most have said, BAD IDEA! It's not likely to be anything more than a fling for her when she's got a fiance in the wings.

Third, I agree with the "drunken Christmas party" scenario as well as all things ending badly in the work environment.

Fourth, see the first because seriously, if you're old enough to be on this site, then you're an adult, and adults DO NOT talk like prepubescent teenagers, 'cause, ya know, like, it's like way not, ya know, like cool, and shit.

I am going to be the little devil guy that sits on your right shoulder. Everyone else can be the angel on his left shoulder. Fuck her brains out. They don't have alcohol anymore at Christmas parties. She has as much to lose as you. And, like any red blooded American male. If it gets out you categorically deny an or all such accusations. I am done here.

 

[BertrandRussell]

What is in this for you in the long run? Do you think that you can have a serious long-term relationship with her? Not a chance: if she fucks you behind his back when she is engaged to him, then she will be fucking some third guy behind your back when she is with you.

So the best you can get is a short-term fling with a dishonest woman.

If that is all you want, you can do that any night at any bar. And it won't come back to haunt you at work.

 

[LaRocha]

I think these people are English. No matter what he should try and fuck her. Likely, she just wants to fuck. Go into it expecting that she won't leave her fiance, fuck her, she's just a co-worker. This guy probably knows nothing about her besides she has a hot bod. No one's invested in anything but fucking if you get together.

So tell her you want her hot bod, get the job done and let her deal with being a rotten cheater, has nothing to do with you. Why would you want a real relationship with someone who's going to cheat on their fiance? That's not someone you want to be engaged to at any point in the future. It's someone you want to fuck, then kick to the curb if she wants a relationship after her fiance's dumped her. There's no way she's gonna dump the other dude just to fuck you. So...fuck her, she'll do the walk of shame at work every day, not you.

 

[PoppingTom]

LaRocha, I begin to understand, why other people don't give a fuck on your opinions.

 

[LaRocha]

LaRocha, I begin to understand, why other people don't give a fuck on your opinions.

Guy, people know who I am and read my stories. Who the fuck are you? Besides for one of that crazy bitch's alts. You know, that idiot who kept saying she killed this author and became her editor etc.