Advice - To Meet a Guy Again After Week Long Silence?

[LittleMissMuffet100]

I would be grateful for any advice as I have yet to make up my mind!

I had sexytimes with a fella last Thursday and all went well. Since then, he has been nearly mute bar a few 'hey how are you, sorry I've been busy' messages. I asked him yesterday if he was still interested and if he wasn't, I understood, but he replied that he is and he has just been super busy. I don't expect his life to revolve around sending me minutely messages but this is odd, no? I've seen he's been logging into the other hook up site several times a day and on WhatsApp regularly (stalk-me-do, I know) but not quite sure if I really fancy meeting him again today. I guess it boils down to if I want to go or not but am I being too female think this is less than ideal?

Apologies as this has become more of a rant but feeling oh so insecure/confused/wish I were into women instead (though we're a pretty flaky bunch too).

 

[Lancecastor]

Sounds like it didnt go as well as you think.

Did you bathe beforehand?

I would be grateful for any advice as I have yet to make up my mind!

I had sexytimes with a fella last Thursday and all went well. Since then, he has been nearly mute bar a few 'hey how are you, sorry I've been busy' messages. I asked him yesterday if he was still interested and if he wasn't, I understood, but he replied that he is and he has just been super busy. I don't expect his life to revolve around sending me minutely messages but this is odd, no? I've seen he's been logging into the other hook up site several times a day and on WhatsApp regularly (stalk-me-do, I know) but not quite sure if I really fancy meeting him again today. I guess it boils down to if I want to go or not but am I being too female think this is less than ideal?

Apologies as this has become more of a rant but feeling oh so insecure/confused/wish I were into women instead (though we're a pretty flaky bunch too).

 

[LittleMissMuffet100]

Nah, I thought it was best to rock up to his after a three hour hot yoga class.

Of course I bathed. Showered, shaved (everything!), hideously expensive stockings and underwear. And multiple orgasms from both parties.

But still, he doesn't seem particularly interested...though he does want to meet again so maybe I'm playing second fiddle to someone else.

Sounds like it didnt go as well as you think.

Did you bathe beforehand?

 

[Debbie]

I'm old so when you use hooking up sites are they not just to meet up, bonk and then go your own ways or maybe hook up when you both feel the urge and attraction?

As in no strings attached, no promises of yes we will be having the sexxxy time again and I'll text you often?

No one can tell you what's going on in his mind but he replied when he could have ignored your texts or blocked you so maybe he is being upfront with you.

 

[Lancecastor]

Nah, I thought it was best to rock up to his after a three hour hot yoga class.

Of course I bathed. Showered, shaved (everything!), hideously expensive stockings and underwear. And multiple orgasms from both parties.

But still, he doesn't seem particularly interested...though he does want to meet again so maybe I'm playing second fiddle to someone else.

You wore underwear?

 

[LittleMissMuffet100]

I get that but this was after speaking online for a few weeks and planning on having an ongoing, monogamous, BDSM funtimes.

I asked him if he was still interested and he said yes and asked if we were still to meet today so it's not like he ghosted me.

I'm old so when you use hooking up sites are they not just to meet up, bonk and then go your own ways or maybe hook up when you both feel the urge and attraction?

As in no strings attached, no promises of yes we will be having the sexxxy time again and I'll text you often?

No one can tell you what's going on in his mind but he replied when he could have ignored your texts or blocked you so maybe he is being upfront with you.

 

[Lancecastor]

Monogamous?

Ahahaha!

 

[LittleMissMuffet100]

You wore underwear?

Incidentally no but I was wearing a lacy number for a bra...

 

[Lancecastor]

Incidentally no but I was wearing a lacy number for a bra...

I don't think he cares about you.

You'd be better off with dolf's daughter's boyfriend.

 

[LittleMissMuffet100]

I don't think he cares about you.

You'd be better off with dolf's daughter's boyfriend.

Apparently so. Bleh.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

If you've been talking for weeks, had the date and sexy times, and his communication style changed after that, it could be very telling that he's not as into you. It is also possible that he's very busy. He is responding, so you may want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

It's not exactly a good thing in this day and age that we can social media stalk people. You describe a really problematic situation in which he wasn't talking to you, but you could see that he was on various sites. It's just not healthy for us to stay that hyper-aware of a partner's every move. If you find yourself spending tons of time examining his online behavior, that's time you're not spending living, and it's not good for you.

If you see him again, let him know that you felt a little insecure because his communication style changed, try to talk about it in those terms. Accusations in a brand-new relationship will likely end it. On the other hand, if you don't feel good about seeing him again, then you shouldn't.

 

[Lancecastor]

St Peter's a nice guy, try him!

 

[LittleMissMuffet100]

Thank you for your thoughtful response.

Yeah, the writing is on the wall and I accept it. I was fine with it yesterday and did my best to give him an ''out' but was a a bit confused when he asked if were were still meeting today.

I told him I'd pass on meeting him today (without making accusations or inviting any drama) and he responded with 'no problem' so I think I think it's fair to say it's time to move on to the next prospect.

If you've been talking for weeks, had the date and sexy times, and his communication style changed after that, it could be very telling that he's not as into you. It is also possible that he's very busy. He is responding, so you may want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

It's not exactly a good thing in this day and age that we can social media stalk people. You describe a really problematic situation in which he wasn't talking to you, but you could see that he was on various sites. It's just not healthy for us to stay that hyper-aware of a partner's every move. If you find yourself spending tons of time examining his online behavior, that's time you're not spending living, and it's not good for you.

If you see him again, let him know that you felt a little insecure because his communication style changed, try to talk about it in those terms. Accusations in a brand-new relationship will likely end it. On the other hand, if you don't feel good about seeing him again, then you shouldn't.

 

[j Hilley]

Move on

I would move on as he does not seem to be that bothered or questioned why you were not meeting today. A sign to me that you are NOT what he wanted or that you are one of maybe many he is playing with or wants to play with.

 

[LittleMissMuffet100]

I would move on as he does not seem to be that bothered or questioned why you were not meeting today. A sign to me that you are NOT what he wanted or that you are one of maybe many he is playing with or wants to play with.

Yeah, I get it. He was actually the one who told me he was a one lady type of guy (STIs, time) and asked if I was sleeping with anyone else but you know, he also has a penis.

 

[yossi]

It seems like you've already made your decision, but let me just add: anyone who you met through a hook up app, let alone who is on several, isn't looking for a monogamous relationship. Go with your instinct - it's usually correct.

 

[LittleMissMuffet100]

It seems like you've already made your decision, but let me just add: anyone who you met through a hook up app, let alone who is on several, isn't looking for a monogamous relationship. Go with your instinct - it's usually correct.

I have, thanks. As far as I know he was just on the one and it was a purely sexual relationship but still, I get ya.

 

[kbate]

the chase is done, the kill is made, he is handing out the trophies to his friends and now heading to another covert.

cunts do that.

 

[LittleMissMuffet100]

the chase is done, the kill is made, he is handing out the trophies to his friends and now heading to another covert.

cunts do that.

That they do, my friend.

 

[Lancecastor]

Or... maybe the experience moved him deep in his soul.

And he is preparing to court you and only you.... jettisoning lingering past diallances, cleaning his apartment, taking a cooking class, getting his haircut, looking for a new shirt.

These things take time.

 

[yossi]

He could save some time if he learned to cook while getting the haircut.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

You're being kept on the hook as a fallback in case he doesn't hook up...



~*~ sorry ~*~

​

 

[Conager]

Or... maybe the experience moved him deep in his soul.

And he is preparing to court you and only you.... jettisoning lingering past diallances, cleaning his apartment, taking a cooking class, getting his haircut, looking for a new shirt.

These things take time.

Divorcing his wife... arranging for the hire of a hit man for her husband...

 

[Lancecastor]

Divorcing his wife... arranging for the hire of a hit man for her husband...

Don't be raining on my positive ideations!

 

[Lancecastor]

He could save some time if he learned to cook while getting the haircut.

The chaseee is always so impatient in these situations.

Yum.

She says she wants BDSM, so this is a great opportunity for growth.

All she has to do is ease up and let her phermones flow.

He'll be back soon.