Advice taken literally

[snooper]

A little background first:

I have a slow dial-up connection via an ISP who limits sessions to 2 hours. In practice this means that any file over about 10Mb is a problem to download.

I was having a problem with a program I had purchased, and the technical "help" people said all I neede was to look in the User Guide, which is a free download .pdf of 125Mb. Naturally I cannot download that on my link and I cursed the technical "help" staff for saying "RTFM" despite my having explained my inability to acquire their manual.

Then I thought about RTFM and wondered what what would be in such a manual, if the old acronym were taken literally?

Read The Fucking Manual - said document being issued to shy 18+ year old boys at some all-male educational establishment (say a Military Acadamy or an all-male college, a few years ago).

Would that not make a Lit story? Either the content of the FM as a spoof "how to ..." or the effect of reading it in the "First Time" section.

 

[KarennaC]

It could also be Humor/Satire; what would happen if they didn't read the whole manual?

 

[JRaven]

<smirk>
Young guy is with a girl for the first time and she all but beats the shit out of him. He goes back to read the next chapter.
"Oh... I'm supposed to stick it in that hole!"

 

[Oblimo]

I'm wondering what a call to the helpline in The Fucking Manual would sound like...

"Hello, thank you for calling the Fucking Technical Support, may I have you name pl--"

"She won't cum! I've been tweaking and twiddling for minutes and nothing's happening!"

 

[snoopercharmbrights]

I'm wondering what a call to the helpline in The Fucking Manual would sound like...

"Hello, thank you for calling the Fucking Technical Support, may I have you name pl--"

"She won't cum! I've been tweaking and twiddling for minutes and nothing's happening!"

"Have you tried switching her off and on again?"

"Yes; no change."

"Have you tried taking her out of bed and putting her back in again?"

"Yes; no change."

"I just don't understand it. Mine is working fine."

 

[Shendude]

Hmm, I wonder how such a document would come to be written...

 

[Reindeer58]

Fucking Manual

Wow, what a great idea. You could start with an Army Field manual to get an idea of stilted phrasing and then let your imagination go. Could be fun.

 

[starrkers]

Hmm, I wonder how such a document would come to be written...

Wouldn't it be written to come?

 

[snoopercharmbrights]

Wow, what a great idea. You could start with an Army Field manual to get an idea of stilted phrasing and then let your imagination go. Could be fun.

I've never read an Army Field manual, but i imagine with the historic emphasis on rape as well as pillage there would need to be a section on this topic. "Insert probe P into cavity C" type instructions, presumably.

 

[Fantasies_only]

A little background first:

I have a slow dial-up connection via an ISP who limits sessions to 2 hours. In practice this means that any file over about 10Mb is a problem to download.

I was having a problem with a program I had purchased, and the technical "help" people said all I neede was to look in the User Guide, which is a free download .pdf of 125Mb. Naturally I cannot download that on my link and I cursed the technical "help" staff for saying "RTFM" despite my having explained my inability to acquire their manual.

Then I thought about RTFM and wondered what what would be in such a manual, if the old acronym were taken literally?

Read The Fucking Manual - said document being issued to shy 18+ year old boys at some all-male educational establishment (say a Military Acadamy or an all-male college, a few years ago).

Would that not make a Lit story? Either the content of the FM as a spoof "how to ..." or the effect of reading it in the "First Time" section.

Well there is really one (actually 2).
It's called The Joy Of Sex, and the other is Sex By The Numbers.
Both books come from a passage in an ultra thick manual called Kama Sutra or How To Please A Man.

"Have you tried switching her off and on again?"

"Yes; no change."

"Have you tried taking her out of bed and putting her back in again?"

"Yes; no change."

"I just don't understand it. Mine is working fine."

I see, you mean sex robots!
Yes that would be funnier.

Actually there is one of those too.
http://www.first-androids.de/ (German)
It costs too much to have sex now.