Advice on how to find a mentor

[LostBabygirl3489]

Not sure if this goes in the right place...but I've been wanting to find a mentor for awhile. Someone that can challenge me, help me and push me to believe myself. I really do believe that my lack of self-confidence hinders me from living out my fantasies, pursuing my career, etc. In return I'd be a good girl...however the person sees fit. Hopefully we'd talk first and get to know each other a little before anything too sexual is expected. Does this seem plausible? I've tried FetLife but that wasn't very successful at all....anyway I'd love some advice.

 

[whistling_toad]

I find this request intriguing and would like to discuss it with you. Hope to hear from you.

 

[Spanknunow]

Sent you a message to discuss this item.

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

Thank you but I'll be my own mentor. I can't trust anyone. Most people are too selfish and ugly.

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

Also not all men are ugly, I meant people in general are ugly, women included. Thank you.

 

[BehaviorMod]

Also not all men are ugly, I meant people in general are ugly, women included. Thank you.

Many people in general are ugly, from their lack of morals to how they treat people. (unless you mean physical appearances in a shallow 'ugly' way). Fetlife has ugly people; Literotica is LOADED with them.... but if you DO have the patience to weed through the fakes and ugly people; you find that handful of women and men who are genuine about what they do, and how they do it.

Given the time of day, given effort, given effective communication and such; these can be men and woman you are looking for. That you can enjoy the company of and benefit from their experience.

Unfortunately that is a search that many spend a long while looking for; and only few truly find. Coming from someone who prominently takes place in events and the south florida bdsm community, and having seen those who require a similar man as you; I really hope you do find what you are looking for before you give up on the search. Before you become too lost.

 

[RawHumor]

Here's a case where distance might work in your favor.

An ideal mentor should be someone with whom you have some chemistry, but not to the point that you're talking about playing with each other. That way, the mentor can lead you down a path that will actually be good for you and not contrary to what you're looking for.

Someone who wants to fuck you or have you move in with them or dominate you is NOT a mentor. I mean, a dom can mentor you, but a true mentorship is a non-sexual position.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Thank you but I'll be my own mentor. I can't trust anyone. Most people are too selfish and ugly.

Lost,
Sorry you feel this way, but I understand why. I recently had a male member contact me about how to tell if someone online is genuine or not.

The short answer is "You can not."

I gave to him a much longer detailed explanation, but truthfully, like all things worthwhile in this life, you will have to be patient, weed the bad from the good, and experience things before you make decisions.
Caution is your ally, my dear. Don't take for granted that just because someone "sounds" sincere, that they "are" sincere.

You are still quite young, and what you are seeking rarely falls into.one's lap. I wish you great luck in finding your mentor. They exist, but unfortunately they aren't clearly marked or labeled as such.

Consider moonshine... There are bottles and bottles of the stuff. All of it clear, distilled, ethanol. You can't tell from looking at the jar if one will taste better than the other. I wouldn't advise tasting all of them..or you'll get so sick of it, you may never want another drop. However, if you take the time to examine the jars, swirl them around, maybe even open up one or two? Take a good whiff...if it smells bad..Don't taste it. Try another. I wouldn't taste a jar until I've made a thorough inspection, and even then, just dip your finger in. Don't gulp it down. That will make you sick, too.

Good luck.

 

[Prince Albert]

I'd like to mentor you!! Rubenesque, long time no see, hope you are well.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I'd like to mentor you!! Rubenesque, long time no see, hope you are well.

I'm as well as this lifetime allows me to be, PA.
Hope you are well, as well.

 

[VAJoe0003]

Not sure if this goes in the right place...but I've been wanting to find a mentor for awhile. Someone that can challenge me, help me and push me to believe myself. I really do believe that my lack of self-confidence hinders me from living out my fantasies, pursuing my career, etc. In return I'd be a good girl...however the person sees fit. Hopefully we'd talk first and get to know each other a little before anything too sexual is expected. Does this seem plausible? I've tried FetLife but that wasn't very successful at all....anyway I'd love some advice.

Would love to be your mentor! I could help you in many ways.

 

[LostBabygirl3489]

Lost,
Sorry you feel this way, but I understand why. I recently had a male member contact me about how to tell if someone online is genuine or not.

The short answer is "You can not."

I gave to him a much longer detailed explanation, but truthfully, like all things worthwhile in this life, you will have to be patient, weed the bad from the good, and experience things before you make decisions.
Caution is your ally, my dear. Don't take for granted that just because someone "sounds" sincere, that they "are" sincere.

You are still quite young, and what you are seeking rarely falls into.one's lap. I wish you great luck in finding your mentor. They exist, but unfortunately they aren't clearly marked or labeled as such.

Consider moonshine... There are bottles and bottles of the stuff. All of it clear, distilled, ethanol. You can't tell from looking at the jar if one will taste better than the other. I wouldn't advise tasting all of them..or you'll get so sick of it, you may never want another drop. However, if you take the time to examine the jars, swirl them around, maybe even open up one or two? Take a good whiff...if it smells bad..Don't taste it. Try another. I wouldn't taste a jar until I've made a thorough inspection, and even then, just dip your finger in. Don't gulp it down. That will make you sick, too.

Good luck.

Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it. Maybe I'm just too lost right now. I don't want to be someone's responsibility. I hate being a burden on people.

 

[OralDave]

Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it. Maybe I'm just too lost right now. I don't want to be someone's responsibility. I hate being a burden on people.

Then maybe it's better for you to be your own mentor, as you say. That way you might gain confidence while separating 'mentor' from the issue of trust. In the context of a relationship with a potential mentor, maybe you'd want to resolve the issue of trust as a starting point-- before allowing that person to be your mentor.
I'd say that I'm my own mentor.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Then maybe it's better for you to be your own mentor, as you say. That way you might gain confidence while separating 'mentor' from the issue of trust. In the context of a relationship with a potential mentor, maybe you'd want to resolve the issue of trust as a starting point-- before allowing that person to be your mentor.
I'd say that I'm my own mentor.

I'm not sure I entirely agree with this concept, either. Like handing an Algebra text to a kindergartener and saying.."Good luck!"

Lost,
Feel free to drop me a pm if you'd like. I'm more of an Alpha sub, so you don't need to worry about any attempted domination from me...ever..lol, but I'd be happy to let you vent if you need to. Be careful about posting openly too much detail about what your sexual needs are here unless you're prepared for an onslaught of degenerative messages.

 

[subgreen]

Maybe you should try some kind of retreat or take a class that involves something you love that is not tied up with an achievement.

 

[Necroticgod]

Not sure if this goes in the right place...but I've been wanting to find a mentor for awhile. Someone that can challenge me, help me and push me to believe myself. I really do believe that my lack of self-confidence hinders me from living out my fantasies, pursuing my career, etc. In return I'd be a good girl...however the person sees fit. Hopefully we'd talk first and get to know each other a little before anything too sexual is expected. Does this seem plausible? I've tried FetLife but that wasn't very successful at all....anyway I'd love some advice.

I dont know about 'pushing' you to believe in yourself; but definitely would encourage it. As iv stated before i think your a very intriguing and beautiful girl with a lot of self potential. I would love to see you regain or build up your confidence. If youd like to chat outside here feel free to pm me and see what we can come up with. Doesnt have to be about anything literotica type either. Can be about anything you would like. Dont be afraid. (or if your more like me, then be afraid. And do it anyway') I cant convince you that im as i seem as only you can make such a decision. But theirs only one way to find out.

Thank you but I'll be my own mentor. I can't trust anyone. Most people are too selfish and ugly.

well i can meet you half way. I can assure you the one thing im not is selfish'

Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it. Maybe I'm just too lost right now. I don't want to be someone's responsibility. I hate being a burden on people.

I wouldnt see this as a burden in any such way. A part of me would actually enjoy trying to help you out. (If we do talk, i can tell you how feeling like a burden feels... )

Sitting back and doing nothing aint going to help. Gotta start somewhere despite the fear. And i want to see you become more happy.