advice needed

[Guest]

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[Nora]

Umm...in my opinion, you're going to have to give him the "let's just be friends" talk. It bites, but otherwise you're going to be leading him on, from his perspective.

 

[Mischka]

I'm confused. Are you attracted to this man, but you weren't ready for a sexual relationship, and now want to back up a bit and take things slowly? Or do you never want to have sex with him again?

 

[Touch1]

Please, just tell him the truth.

 

[Guest]

Tell him his cock is too small.

He'll stay away from you.

 

[acitore_vuli]

Tell him you're a post op transexual.

 

[Guest]

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[Blindinthedark]

I'm not sure if I ever want to have sex with him again, I just know that I don't want to right now

or even in the next couple of months

Tell him that you don't know what you want right now. That you are in a weird place and you need to work things out.

It'll spare him and it's not a lie.

Good luck.

 

[acitore_vuli]

Tell him he doesn't know how much he will thank you years from now.

 

[Guest]

I'm not sure if I ever want to have sex with him again, I just know that I don't want to right now

or even in the next couple of months

How's a case of non-fatal STD?

Go for honesty.

 

[Guest]

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[Guest]

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[Mischka]

Tell him that you don't know what you want right now. That you are in a weird place and you need to work things out.

It'll spare him and it's not a lie.

Good luck.

I read Mr. Mischka your dilemma, and he agrees with Blindinthedark's advice. He also said the guy will probably drop you in a heartbeat. You can't sleep with a guy one day, then change your mind with the vague "maybe we'll sleep together in the future, but maybe we'll never sleep together again" and expect him to stick around. If you're confused, imagine how he'll feel.

 

[honeylick]

word to the wise...

drunken sex is no way to keep that record unblemished...

 

[Guest]

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[Guest]

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[Mischka]

I know, I guess I was just hoping someone had a good idea, but I imagine this will be the case.

You sound sincere in your confusion over the situation, so maybe the guy will stick around. But it's best to be prepared for the worst. Good luck.

 

[Rambrat]

you had sex?!!!

 

[Blindinthedark]

I read Mr. Mischka your dilemma, and he agrees with Blindinthedark's advice. He also said the guy will probably drop you in a heartbeat. You can't sleep with a guy one day, then change your mind with the vague "maybe we'll sleep together in the future, but maybe we'll never sleep together again" and expect him to stick around. If you're confused, imagine how he'll feel.

I'm glad the hubby agrees I guess I know my stuff afterall.

sidney328:
I don't think that's too vague. Everyone has probs they need to work thru sometimes. If he cares anything at all for you he'll understand that. What you can't do is lead him on. That will just make it worse in the long run.

I know this is easy to say from where I am and that this must be killing you. But if you like this guy enough to sleep with him then he deserves to know where he stands.

He might take it hard but he'll get over it. If he takes it badly then you know he wasn't the person for you anyway.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Guest]

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[Guest]

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[Rambrat]

Tell him that you're not ready for a sexual relationship...that that night was just a band-aid on loneliness. If he truly cares about you...he'll understand (or make believe that he does). You have a right to feel the way that you do. Don't let guilt make you do something that makes you feel uncomfortable.

It's your decision as to what you want. It doesn't make you a bad person to fill a physical need.

 

[Blindinthedark]

Thanks, we have been friends for a while, so I'm hoping he'll understand.
And I'm encouraging him to date other women since he was just recently divorced and has not been out with anyone other than his wife for the last 15 years or so.

That does make it easier in a way.
Think of yourself as the "transition person" and you're helping him find himself. Reassure him that you're not ready to be in relationship right now and that he should explore a little bit before settling down again.

 

[Guest]

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[Rambrat]

have you been peeking in my head?
wow

Yes...and it was scary...