Advice needed re the Big O

[Hanalia]

OK, I feel a little odd posting this, but here goes. I am a 27/f and I have never once orgasmed during intercourse. Not even got close to it. I don't know why, as I enjoy it, have tried various positions and speeds, etc. I can get myself off easily with a vibe, and hubby can do wonderful things with his hands and tounge but absolutely nothing happens during sex. And this is not only true of when I am with my husband, but before we were togther and I was with other men. I have tried fantasizing about things that can nearly make me come just sitting in a chair, lol, while making love but still nothing. Any suggestions?

 

[Shadowann2]

OK, I feel a little odd posting this, but here goes. I am a 27/f and I have never once orgasmed during intercourse. Not even got close to it. I don't know why, as I enjoy it, have tried various positions and speeds, etc. I can get myself off easily with a vibe, and hubby can do wonderful things with his hands and tounge but absolutely nothing happens during sex. And this is not only true of when I am with my husband, but before we were togther and I was with other men. I have tried fantasizing about things that can nearly make me come just sitting in a chair, lol, while making love but still nothing. Any suggestions?

Yes, join the club. Somthing like 85-90% of woman can't orgasm from sex. There is nothing wrong with you or your partners. It's just a fact of life. Hollywood movies and porn make women think that they are SUPPOSED to have these earth shattering orgasms every time they have sex, but that just isn't reality. I've been having sex for 15 years now and I can count on one hand the number of times I've orgasmed from sex. The few times it did happen, I was on top and grinding my clit into his pubic bone. But Lord knows, that doesn't work every time by any means.

Don't feel bad, and make sure your partner doesn't either about this. It's natural; UNFAIR, but natural.

 

[Hanalia]

LMAO It does seem a bit unfair doesn't it? Not that I mind the extra attention paid to me to get me there, but there is something to be said for just once to have the timing work out and have us both come at the same time. *Sigh* And no, he doesn't feel bad about it, and is not bugging me to somehow make it happen, lol. But just some wishful thinking on my part to have just one explosive session like that.

 

[Shadowann2]

LMAO It does seem a bit unfair doesn't it? Not that I mind the extra attention paid to me to get me there, but there is something to be said for just once to have the timing work out and have us both come at the same time. *Sigh* And no, he doesn't feel bad about it, and is not bugging me to somehow make it happen, lol. But just some wishful thinking on my part to have just one explosive session like that.

Try doing a search for "orgasm" on the "How To..." board. You'll find quite a few threads about this subject.

As a teenager I had these great fantasies about how stimulating and explosive sex was going to be. When I finally had sex, it wasn't like that at all. I thought, it'll get better with time. Not really. Don't get me wrong: I LOVE sex! I often have trouble finding men to keep up with me. But what I feel during intercourse isn't anything like what I feel when I masturbate. I wouldn't even go so far as to say that one is better than the other. I equally enjoy them both. I just wish I could enjoy them TOGETHER!

 

[SweetErika]

I just wish I could enjoy them TOGETHER!

Why can't you enjoy masturbating and having sex at the same time?

I do, regularly. Me + him + the vibe + fantasy + a good position = AMAZINGNESS

Hana, have you tried incorporating your favorite toy into sex? Or maybe getting a new vibe that would work well during sex?

Otherwise, just relax and see if it happens in the future. Someday you might find exactly the right combination of stimulation for the moment. A lot of women change sexually as they mature, too; some ladies find different types of stimulation do it for them more as they move through the decades, or they hit on the right combo of hormones, find they're able to relax more, etc.

That's not to say you shouldn't have a blast experimenting, though! But if you do it without a specific goal/expected outcome in mind, you'll have a MUCH greater chance of coming during sex. Embrace what you do have at any given time in your life, rather than lamenting what you don't have.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Have a go at the technique on this thread. If you can find and break in your G spot (though some women don't appear to have one) it can make orgasms through penetrative sex a little more likely.

I agree with Erika though. If it just isn't going to happen, incorporate more clit stimulation into the sex you have and count yourself lucky because some women simply cannot cum at all.

 

[pinkflames]

OK, I feel a little odd posting this, but here goes. I am a 27/f and I have never once orgasmed during intercourse. Not even got close to it. I don't know why, as I enjoy it, have tried various positions and speeds, etc. I can get myself off easily with a vibe, and hubby can do wonderful things with his hands and tounge but absolutely nothing happens during sex. And this is not only true of when I am with my husband, but before we were togther and I was with other men. I have tried fantasizing about things that can nearly make me come just sitting in a chair, lol, while making love but still nothing. Any suggestions?

When I was 27, I had never ever orgasmed during intercourse either, even though I regularly did through clitoral stimulation. Then, during my next relationship I would rub my clitoris at a certain point during orgasm and we would sometimes end up having simultaneous orgasms. I didn't start having orgasms without direct clitoral contact until I hit 40, even so it's not as strong as one from masturbation.

 

[touchy_miss]

When I was 27, I had never ever orgasmed during intercourse either, even though I regularly did through clitoral stimulation. Then, during my next relationship I would rub my clitoris at a certain point during orgasm and we would sometimes end up having simultaneous orgasms. I didn't start having orgasms without direct clitoral contact until I hit 40, even so it's not as strong as one from masturbation.

I dont find that clitorial orgasm is as strong as a vagina/g-spot one. Whether or not I have an orgasm during sex depends on the guy. I have the sense that it has something to do with the dimensions of the penis as they match my vagina...and maybe the bend/angle..that just stimulates that g-spot perfectly. My current partner is not someone I can vaginally orgasm with...i have to manually stimulate my clit. He does give quite a nice gspot massage though, with his fingers...you can get instructional video of these in places... Do miss the other type though

Has anyone found that having their asse filled during sex helps a vaginal O along a bit?

 

[satindesire]

I dont find that clitorial orgasm is as strong as a vagina/g-spot one. Whether or not I have an orgasm during sex depends on the guy. I have the sense that it has something to do with the dimensions of the penis as they match my vagina...and maybe the bend/angle..that just stimulates that g-spot perfectly. My current partner is not someone I can vaginally orgasm with...i have to manually stimulate my clit. He does give quite a nice gspot massage though, with his fingers...you can get instructional video of these in places... Do miss the other type though

Has anyone found that having their asse filled during sex helps a vaginal O along a bit?

Anal is rather painful for me, so I can't reach orgasm with anything touching/penetrating there.

 

[Leerotica]

I found I can have a vaginal O through anal sex. I'm so glad my hubby talked me into it, and to think I avoided it for so long. It is amazing, drives my hubby wild as well.

 

[touchy_miss]

I found I can have a vaginal O through anal sex. I'm so glad my hubby talked me into it, and to think I avoided it for so long. It is amazing, drives my hubby wild as well.

glad you said that...same goes for me

 

[phelon]

OK, I feel a little odd posting this, but here goes. I am a 27/f and I have never once orgasmed during intercourse. Not even got close to it. I don't know why, as I enjoy it, have tried various positions and speeds, etc. I can get myself off easily with a vibe, and hubby can do wonderful things with his hands and tounge but absolutely nothing happens during sex. And this is not only true of when I am with my husband, but before we were togther and I was with other men. I have tried fantasizing about things that can nearly make me come just sitting in a chair, lol, while making love but still nothing. Any suggestions?

I'd say go with Sweet Erika:
Few of the women i have been with can have an orgasm without some kind of direct stimulation at some point.. sometimes that means me using my fingers on them, or a toy. sometimes it meant them using their own fingers or a toy.

i have noticed, once they have an orgasm sometimes a solid followup from me could push them into a second without the extra stimulation...
also if they get their with help.. then usually it makes a habit and the amount they need can reduce some..

 

[SweetErika]

I dont find that clitorial orgasm is as strong as a vagina/g-spot one.

See, I'm the opposite: orgasms from the right clit stimulation are far more intense and pleasurable for me. Clit stimulation combined with very specific types of vaginal & g-spot, and sometimes other kinds of, stimulation, produce my best orgasms, hands down.

It's a good illustration of how we're all different, the problem with cookie-cutter approaches and the importance of experimentation, eh?

 

[frisky-leo]

I am 27 as well, and I can count on one hand the Os I have had from vaginal intercourse.
The first time I was on top, tilting my hips forward to engage my clit. That dosent always work for me tho.
I used to think there was something wrong with me, but have learned that my body just responds better to different stimulation, mostly on the clit. Its still very rare for me to orgasm with my partner, but I try to just let what will happen... happen.

I totally agree with experimentation. Just enjoy playing around and I am sure one day you will get a wonderful surprise.

 

[Shadowann2]

See, I'm the opposite: orgasms from the right clit stimulation are far more intense and pleasurable for me. Clit stimulation combined with very specific types of vaginal & g-spot, and sometimes other kinds of, stimulation, produce my best orgasms, hands down.

It's a good illustration of how we're all different, the problem with cookie-cutter approaches and the importance of experimentation, eh?

I completly agree with this part.

Things would be easier if we were all alike, but not nearly as interesting!

 

[A_Kefka]

Half the fun is figuring out what a woman likes, as long as she isn't afraid to let you know when you find it.

 

[PoeticMusings53]

OK, I feel a little odd posting this, but here goes. I am a 27/f and I have never once orgasmed during intercourse. Not even got close to it. I don't know why, as I enjoy it, have tried various positions and speeds, etc. I can get myself off easily with a vibe, and hubby can do wonderful things with his hands and tounge but absolutely nothing happens during sex. And this is not only true of when I am with my husband, but before we were togther and I was with other men. I have tried fantasizing about things that can nearly make me come just sitting in a chair, lol, while making love but still nothing. Any suggestions?

Its difficult without a circus penis or manual stimulation during intercourse, but just fully penetrating and then gyrating my pelvis against hers works some of the time.

 

[breezyblue]

I agree with shadowann2 - try not to worry about it. I am also in the club of women who just cannot orgasm from vaginal intercourse (21/f). Although I too would love to be able to cum in this way, right now it is just not in the cards so to speak. I find it comforting to know that there are many people in this boat - there is not something wrong with me, and that someday down the line things may change - but that day is not today and I am ok with it. I can cum however via rubbing myself while in the missionary position and by working together we have been able to cum simultaneously more than a few times - you may find that this works for you too. Good luck, and i can't stress enough to not worry over it and make sure both yourself and your partner do not feel like there is something amiss - everyone is different and it may be that this is just the way things are for now.

 

[wi_mama]

I have only managed to orgasm twice in my life (and he really had to try for it!) and neither was all that earth shattering. I get nothing from masturbating with a vibe, using a pillow, shower, or anythingelse. My hands are the worst, it just starts to dry up and hurt.

Do you guys have any unique suggestions? Btw, I have no available for assistance so I need something I can do on my own.

Thanks!

 

[touchy_miss]

g-spot massage and female ejaculation

Check out this article on gspot massage:
It's a "how to"
weve tried it with wonderful results:
http://www.infosex.com/g-spot.htm

And this one on female ejaculation. Ive been lucky enough to experience it during sex but never knew where the "ejaculate" came from. FE is aparentely much more likely from g-spot massage....very informative (though from what I've read elsewhere also debatable)
http://infosex.com/female-ejaculation.htm

 

[pinkflames]

See, I'm the opposite: orgasms from the right clit stimulation are far more intense and pleasurable for me. Clit stimulation combined with very specific types of vaginal & g-spot, and sometimes other kinds of, stimulation, produce my best orgasms, hands down.

It's a good illustration of how we're all different, the problem with cookie-cutter approaches and the importance of experimentation, eh?

I think we need to remember that we are all just variations of NORMAL.

 

[touchy_miss]

I have only managed to orgasm twice in my life (and he really had to try for it!) and neither was all that earth shattering. I get nothing from masturbating with a vibe, using a pillow, shower, or anythingelse. My hands are the worst, it just starts to dry up and hurt.

Do you guys have any unique suggestions? Btw, I have no available for assistance so I need something I can do on my own.

Thanks!

bumping it up for wi mama guys....

 

[pinkflames]

I find a really filthy fantasy helps more than any particular technique.

 

[Maizie29]

I never had an orgasm during sex until my husband 7 years ago. Until then the only way I could get off was manual stimulation of my clit, with my fingers, (which at the age of 20 and below usually turned the guy on so much he was done before I could finish anyway LOL) But when I met my hubby the very first time we had sex he made me orgasm just from sex alone with no stimulation to my clit at all. He just hits the right spot I guess......and seems to hit it in nearly every position. I'm just damned lucky

 

[Maizie29]

yes he does, and yes I am I praise God and say Halleluiah every day I assure you