Advice??? I just cant shake her!!!

[Guest]

A year in a half ago my ex boyfriend started cheating on me with this girl sunshine. It was easy for him to do because we dont live in the same state cuz Im in college Eventually it broke us up mostly because of his lying and her constant harrassment of myself. Till this day I still cant shake her. Shes turned my personal web page forum into a battle of words between the two of us. Over my old car that they had impounded. She constantly instant messages me, calls and treatens me. Telling me that she and he are going to sue me for over 50,000$$$ in emotion damages. I dont understand how this can happen. Shes the one harrassing me, stalking even. I have no idea how to get a hold of her untill she comes to me. I block her but she only uses other names or other payphones. Ive informed her that she cant get away with this but what cant I say. The cops dont do anything about stalkers! I dont think I have any rights or it at least it feels that way. What should I do? I cant shake her or him for that matter. He calls saying shes imposing on him and she calls saying he and she are gonna make sure I never have a dime of my own money. Im ranting! Sorry, Is there anything I can do to stop her from bothering me?
Bruised and Bullied

 

[Scruffy]

Kneecap her.

Easy, Peasy, Japanesey

 

[Guest]

if only

I could ..... but im not that kind

 

[ksmybuttons]

Dear Bruised and Bullied:

It sounds like you are center ring in a three ring circus. Change your name, visit a plastic surgeon and move.

Don't feed the trolls.

 

[Scruffy]

Re: if only

I could ..... but im not that kind

Hire someone who is.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

First, get an unlisted number and only give it out to those who really need it (your parents, employer) with explicit instructions to not give it out to anyone else regardless of who they are and what they say. Tell them that if they give it to anybody else they won't get it again - no second chance. Tell your employer you are being stalked and make sure that all people who have access to your personal info know they are under no conditions to give out your personal info - to anyone. Tell them that anyone who needs to know already has that info. Be very serious about it.

A cell phone instead of a landline often works well. If you have voice mail or a phone answering machine, do not leave a personal message on it, stick with the default message (usually something like "leave a message for xxx-xxx-xxxx"). If you must record a message, have someone else of the opposite gender record a message, but leave it generic and do not have your name in it. This works fine for some people I know who are stalked.

Second, move and do the same thing with your address. Get a PO box before you move and use your old address as the reference address they require. If you get dinged for it you can always claim you forgot to tell them of the change. Have all of your mail sent to the PO box.

I don't know what kind of website you have, but if it is interactive then you are kind of screwed in a way as anybody anywhere can access it if you want others to have public access. This is a complex issue that has a lot of variables that without more details I can only guess at. If she is hacking into your web site, and it is non-interactive, then either learn how to make your web-site more secure or find someone who can. There are ways of keeping most hackers from hacking a web-site.

Finally, consult a lawyer if you can afford one - he/she can advise you of legal remedies. Keep all interactions with this person documented. Write everything down. Even if you haven't written anything down yet, and can't remember everything or much, write down as much as you can with as much detail as you can, including dates and times as close as you can remember them. Record all phone conversations and other correspondance. Such documentation is extremely useful should you find a legal remedy, or if they actually try to make good on their threat to sue you (which I doubt they will).

 

[Dragonette]

A year in a half ago my ex boyfriend started cheating on me with this girl sunshine. It was easy for him to do because we dont live in the same state cuz Im in college Eventually it broke us up mostly because of his lying and her constant harrassment of myself. Till this day I still cant shake her. Shes turned my personal web page forum into a battle of words between the two of us. Over my old car that they had impounded. She constantly instant messages me, calls and treatens me. Telling me that she and he are going to sue me for over 50,000$$$ in emotion damages. I dont understand how this can happen. Shes the one harrassing me, stalking even. I have no idea how to get a hold of her untill she comes to me. I block her but she only uses other names or other payphones. Ive informed her that she cant get away with this but what cant I say. The cops dont do anything about stalkers! I dont think I have any rights or it at least it feels that way. What should I do? I cant shake her or him for that matter. He calls saying shes imposing on him and she calls saying he and she are gonna make sure I never have a dime of my own money. Im ranting! Sorry, Is there anything I can do to stop her from bothering me?
Bruised and Bullied

Stalking is a crime, but sadly hard to prove.
Police should try harder and your phone company should try to trace the calls

As to the internet, even harder, never put personal details and use a hotmail or yahoo account.

Heres a site about stalkers, I know it won't help you, but knowledge is good.


http://www.antistalking.com/Default.htm

 

[YogiBare]

They are getting off on the fear that they are creating in you. Have you tried totally, and persistently ignoring them, no matter what they say? Refuse to talk when they call, and hang up? Do you need to have the web site, or can you close it down for awhile? Have you called the police, or are you assuming that they will do nothing, before talking with them? You might try having a lawyer write a "cease and desist" warning letter to them at your ex-boyfriend's address.

Good luck.