Advice for the 20-somethings

[CeriseNoire]

I just read my work email and found out that as part of he 8th grade "goodbye" night, we'll be doing a little segment called "Advice we know you'll ignore but thought we'd give anyway". It got me thinking about a few things.

First, I give excellent advice, but I never take my own. (a certain feline Litster recently had fun pointing that out while on the phone with me )

Second, since I'm currently in transition, apparently suffering from a "quarter-life" crisis of sorts, I thought I'd ask the older and wiser folks of the AH: What advice would you give the average 20-something? Or alternately, what do you wish you'd known/done in your 20s?

 

[Vermilion]

I cant help with advice *for* twenties. But i sure as hell wish someone had told me, when a kid still, that being grown up ain't as good as it looks from a distance.
G'luck
x
V

 

[The_Fool]

Money isn't everything. When young, work to live rather than live to work. Understand that you will probably have four or five different careers and the first two or three won't count for much other than life experiences. Look for something to be passionate about rather than something that makes the most money. There is no such thing as a 30+ year career and a gold watch retirement. Plan accordingly.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

If I could advise the 20ish me, I'd tell her:

1. Never stay in a low paying, dead-end job out of loyalty to your boss or co-workers. It's a waste of time.

2. Don't spend five minutes in a relationship with someone who treats you like crap.

3. Always invest in your health.

 

[Carnevil9]

1. Don't take a job (or leave a job) because you like (or dislike) your boss or co-workers. They will always come and go.

2. If you're a male, date women over 40. They are much more into sex and less into playing games.

 

[maggot420]

Get a good bed and good shoes. You are going to spend alot of life in either one or the other.

 

[john-the-author]

I would have 20-somethings read a great book called "The Richest Man in Babylon" by George F. Clason. It's easy reading and it's easy to do; you just have to do it. And it really, really works.

I'd also have 'em buy the biggest whole-life insurance policy they could. (Sounds so fuddy-duddy-ish, right?) But the rates on what you can get when you're in your 20s and your health is good are really low compared to what you can get when you're in 40 or 50, even if your health's been great. And despite whatever you may think, you really will want to have more life insurance when you're older than you think you need now. I'm trying to buy $500k of insurance right now because I need more than the $125K I'd had for 20 years. It's a lot more expensive when you're 51, diabetic, and have had heart problems. For some reason, the insurance companies think you're a poor risk and (can you imagine???) want to charge a whole lot more. Bastids!

 

[jomar]

Pay yourself first.

Travel and see the world (before you settle down with spouse and family - if you choose that route).

 

[Guest]

If I could do things all over again:

1. I would believe in my power to be whomever I desired.
2. I would have laughed each and every day.
3. I would have taken the time to appreciate everything around me and reveled in the beauty.
4. I would have embraced those around me and told them how much they meant to me.
5. I would have jumped off the pity pot and remembered that there are so many people out there suffering worse than I ever could have
6. I would say I LOVE YOU and meant it every day.

but now that I'm older...not all that much wiser, I try to do these very things.

 

[rgraham666]

Don't take life so seriously. It's not permanent.

 

[glynndah]

Say "yes" more often than you say "no".

 

[WRJames]

So much depends on who you are and what you want to do. Personally, I didn't waste my twenties working -- and I have never regretted that. When I did finally break down and get a (more or less) regular job, I caught up with the people who had been working since college within a year or two. I think a lot of companies just keep their twenty-somethings on ice, aging them until they're mature enough to take on real work.

However, I've more or less drifted through life -- more of a random walk than a driven journey. My children, on the other hand, have both been going in a straight line since birth, and they are both in their mid twenties now. So I'm not really telling them to take detours. However, once you start to raise kids, everything changes, and you are going to have quite a few years where that is a real limiting factor. So if you can afford it, now is the time for some exploration.

(Of course, now I'm retired, the kids are out of the house, so I'm back where I was in my twenties -- and it's great).

If you have any money you can invest -- this is the time when a little bit of invstment can really pay off in later life. Find a good agressive mutual fund and hope that it works out for you.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Take life seriously - you only get one of them.

If you are a woman and you feel you won't be fulfilled unless you have children, get busy.

Never forget your purpose in life is your own happiness. That doesn’t mean one lives in a permanent state of giddy glee, of course. It's about lifelong flourishing and well being, expressed by the Greek term eudaimonia. A technical definition is, “the successful pursuit of a vast array of physical, mental, and spiritual goods in the context of a life-long plan of values.”

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

Work hard, save well, and don't leave the "Future" you to take care of the "Present" you. You're to-date the most capable generation in history, utilize it.

 

[impressive]

Second, since I'm currently in transition, apparently suffering from a "quarter-life" crisis of sorts, I thought I'd ask the older and wiser folks of the AH: What advice would you give the average 20-something? Or alternately, what do you wish you'd known/done in your 20s?

Follow your heart NOW. It gets a LOT harder once you're saddled with more responsibilities (kids, debts, etc.).

 

[angela146]

If you haven't had children, find out if you *can*. Don't assume. Find out if your husband/wife can. Don't assume.

Don't invest time nor energy nor delay gratification in the hopes that it will pay off later. You will get screwed.

Don't invest "political capital" in an employer. The people in whom you invest won't be there in five years.

Do invest time and energy in *friends* of *all* ages. Don't ask anything in return. Your payoff is having happy friends.

Do invest time and energy in your children, nieces, nephews etc. as if they were your best friends.

Do invest *money* now, even small amounts of money will help. Put it into a bankruptcy-proof vehicle (i.e. a 401k if you're in the U.S.). Invest in long-term growth (e.g. SnP500). Eventually, (when you have a couple of million in today's money) begin to withdraw half of the *earnings* above inflation. "Half" because that will allow the capital to continue to grow.

Don't *ever* borrow against the fund or withdraw from it, no matter what. Declare bankruptcy if you have to.

 

[Stella_Omega]

For those who are first and foremost creative, I would say;

You do not need to make your art your career. Find yourself a job that makes you not entirely miserable, and learn to take joy in your art for it's own sake. Don't try to defines yourself solely by your talent-- that isn't the whole of you.

To those who are uncreative, I would say; There is as much joy in perfecting a skill as there is in creating "art." Do something else-- grow tomatoes, learn to cook, sew, play with old clocks. Don't let yourself be defined solely by your job-- that isn't the whole of you.

 

[Monazwx]

If I could advise the 20ish me, I'd tell her:

1. Never stay in a low paying, dead-end job out of loyalty to your boss or co-workers. It's a waste of time.

Thank you. I'm leaving my job in June.

Advice:

If you save now, you won't have to work so hard later.
Be loyal to your friends. Without them, you only have your family (and who wants that!).
Enjoy life while you're young; that way, you'll have fond memories to cherish when you're not so young.

 

[CeriseNoire]

There's no place like the AH to give me warm fuzzies.

I've just been questioning things a lot because shown quite a bit of poor judgment in the last few months. On the other hand, now that that's behind me, a lot of possibilities have presented themselves where the future's concerned. I suppose it's only human to panic a bit when standing at a crossroad.

That said, thanks to many of the responses here, I'm a little less worried. Seems like (if I go by the majority of what's been suggested here), I'm actually doing a lot better than I thought. Now all I have to do is make some crucial decisions. Even gave myself a deadline :geek emote:

 

[trysail]

Do invest *money* now, even small amounts of money will help. Put it into a bankruptcy-proof vehicle (i.e. a 401k if you're in the U.S.). Invest in long-term growth (e.g. S&P500). Eventually, (when you have a couple of million in today's money) begin to withdraw half of the *earnings* above inflation. "Half" because that will allow the capital to continue to grow.

Don't *ever* borrow against the fund or withdraw from it, no matter what. Declare bankruptcy if you have to.

That is sound advice. The sooner you start, the better off you'll be. The more time you allow it to operate, the more you permit what Einstein called the "second most astonishing miracle of the universe" (i.e., compounding) to work.

ETA: ...and DO USE Vanguard!! (They are the ONLY company that is owned by its clients and that goes a long, long, long way toward minimizing conflicts of interest). As a result, Vanguard's fees and expenses are usually the lowest. They are the ONLY company out there that competes by keeping fees and expenses as low as is possible.

 

[ms.read]

Don't look down on your past, even if you've had a lot of bad things happened to you. Don't let it define who you are going to be in the future. Love yourself and the people around you. We all have faults, it's what makes us unique.

 

[Guest]

Know what you want, and not what is expected of you. When we are young it is all fuzzily melded together, then you get older and you ask, WTF have I been doing with my life?



Don't limit yourself one one minute for the opinions of others, but do cultivate your relationships. It is complicated, since most relatioships seem to be about other peope assuring themselves you will do what they want, and if you won't, well, they pass judgement.

I will stop blabbering now.

Maharat

 

[oggbashan]

Try anything once as long as it isn't actually illegal, health-damaging and doesn't frighten the horses. Oh, and don't try Morris Dancing. Just watching it damages your sanity.

Don't say "I can't" to doing something artistic or creative until you've given it a good try.

Don't be afraid of making a fool of yourself. You are allowed to do that when you're young. You have to wait until you're very old to be an idiot again.

Og

 

[Guest]

........

 

[keeblercrumb]

Believe in people. If they ultimately are not worth it, it is their failing, not yours. The pain of loss and humiliation will fade but the loneliness that comes from not trusting people will haunt you forever. Lead with your heart.

If you are with your chosen other... Stop teasing each other with all the things that made you smile when you first met. After a couple of years, no one is laughing and the teasing just hurts. Say only nice things to each other.

Every day you will have a thousand chances to do or say something nice to your chosen other. You will never do all of them... try to do most of them.

Be honest, to yourself and others.

and

be nice.



And thanks for asking.

-KC