Advice for New Authors

[shannon_est]

I received an email a couple of days ago from a guy who had read one of my stories. It was sent to him thru a friend of a friend of a friend (at least it's getting circulated ) He had an idea to write a story about him and a model and asked me for some pointers. My response to him is below. I don't feel like I'm an expert, having finished only 2 stories, and was wondering if y'all would be willing to share some of your thoughts.

I just realized as I pasted the copy of my email here that I forgot to point out paragraph spacing.


Pointers....

Hmmm... Where do I begin?

I feel the basic fundamentals of the English language are quintessential. Seems you have a grasp on basic sentence structure, punctuation, etc from your emails. It’s very distracting when reading a story that doesn’t have these basics. Makes it hard to read. My downfall is changing verb tenses, pick a tense and stick with it. A very helpful tool is Microsoft Word. It gets most of the typos and grammar mistakes. There are also several online spell and grammar checkers.

The next thing is realism. 12 inch cocks just aren’t all that realistic, definitely few and far between. Focus more on what he does with the cock, how it makes her feel, than the size. Things like that. That’s just one example, there are many things that can make an otherwise great story seem a bit off.

Characters and build up… readers want to know more than they got naked and fucked. Characters have personalities just as real people do. Let us get to know them by their likes, dislikes, conversations, how other characters see them. The build up to the sex act should be almost as good as the act itself, IMHO. What put them in that situation? How did they get from strangers to lovers, so to speak.

Consistency is another biggie. There’s one example that sticks in my mind, and I’m not even sure where I saw the story. This is just a paraphrase, as I do not have the story in front of me.

The woman is standing with her legs against the bed, the man removes her blouse. It falls to the floor.

The way I saw it in my mind was with him facing her and the blouse should’ve fallen on the bed. He could’ve pulled it off and tossed it in the floor, but it wasn’t written that way. Another mistake is changing a character name in the middle of a story. Doesn’t mean you have to stick with the original name you started with, just make sure you change the name throughout the story. Another thing I hate is the characters are (for example) at a restraunt having dinner, next thing you know they are in bed in the middle of doing the deed. I like to know how they got from point A to point B. This partially goes back to the build up, but how hard is it to include "After a short drive to his place, they were hardly able to keep their hands off each other.With the door barely closed behind them, they were already undressing each other." Something like that….again that’s probably more personal preference, but I think I’m probably in the majority rather than the minority when it comes to details like that. Also, things like color… if she was wearing a red dress before dinner, how is it that he just took off her black dress?

Vocabulary... Try to stay away from using too many of what I like to call "5 dollar words" ... the really big words that no one understands ... I feel I have a decent vocabulary, even though at times it doesn't show, but if I have to get my dictionary out more than twice during a story, I'm outta there. Using 'every day' language makes a story flow smoother IMHO. Though there will be exceptions to this, for instance the character is a doctor, lawyer, scientist, etc. then the dialogue might seem a little less real if they were using 50 cent words. Moderation I s'pose is the key.

One final thing I can think of for now… write what you’re comfortable with at first. Make an effort to proof read your own story. Reading it out-loud helps catch some mistakes that otherwise you might not catch. Then have someone else proofread your story.

Most of all… have fun! Try to learn from your mistakes and go forward. Writing erotica is not an art of perfection, its an art of sensation.

Good luck and feel free to email me anytime.

Shannon

 

[Weird Harold]

I don't feel like I'm an expert, having finished only 2 stories, and was wondering if y'all would be willing to share some of your thoughts.

Very good advice in your e-mail. I wouldn't worry too much about forgetting to mention paragraphspacing because you covered hat in your first point about knowing "basic sentence structure, punctuation, etc"

There are a couple of other specific problems that novice writers usually exhibit. Most of them,like paragraph breaks, actually fall under the general point about punctuation.

Ellipses: Avoid ellipses until you undestand exactly what they represent.

Dialogue: Use a separate paragraph for each person's dialogue. Avoid "Tom Swifties" (the excessive use of modifying dialogue tags,) and NEOMs (Never Ending Orgasmic Moans.)

 

[TheEarl]

All the advice I have is in my How Tos. I know this sounds very pluggy, but I would recommend reading The 10 Commandments as it's pretty much my accumulated knowledge on starting out as an amateur. If you like it, I do have another on writing good sex scenes.

Also, Weird Harold is constantly correct and I believe one of the only people who I referenced in the 10 Commandments to still be a regular on Lit.

The Earl

 

[tolyk]

All the advice I have is in my How Tos. I know this sounds very pluggy, but I would recommend reading The 10 Commandments as it's pretty much my accumulated knowledge on starting out as an amateur. If you like it, I do have another on writing good sex scenes.

Also, Weird Harold is constantly correct and I believe one of the only people who I referenced in the 10 Commandments to still be a regular on Lit.

The Earl

It's a worthwhile plug, the 10 commandments are great. In fact, it was reading them that made me actually stick around at Lit. I found the site through a friend and was browsing, and got your Howto, read it, loved it, started posting on the Author's Hangout.

 

[shannon_est]

Very good advice in your e-mail. I wouldn't worry too much about forgetting to mention paragraphspacing because you covered hat in your first point about knowing "basic sentence structure, punctuation, etc"

There are a couple of other specific problems that novice writers usually exhibit. Most of them,like paragraph breaks, actually fall under the general point about punctuation.

Ellipses: Avoid ellipses until you undestand exactly what they represent.

Dialogue: Use a separate paragraph for each person's dialogue. Avoid "Tom Swifties" (the excessive use of modifying dialogue tags,) and NEOMs (Never Ending Orgasmic Moans.)

Thanks!

Ellipses...
Personally I never use them in a story...
Though I am guilty as hell as using them in PM's, emails and posts.
Good point though!

Would you care to elaborate on "Tom Swifties" and perhaps give some examples good and bad?

 

[shannon_est]

All the advice I have is in my How Tos. I know this sounds very pluggy, but I would recommend reading The 10 Commandments as it's pretty much my accumulated knowledge on starting out as an amateur. If you like it, I do have another on writing good sex scenes.

Also, Weird Harold is constantly correct and I believe one of the only people who I referenced in the 10 Commandments to still be a regular on Lit.

The Earl

"Pluggy" it was not. That was the first time I had seen those. I suppose I was a bit overwhelmed when I first came to Lit, though. I lurk more than I post in the AH. Trying to learn a little bit every day. Thank you for writing those wonderful How To's and sharing them here.

 

[shannon_est]

It's a worthwhile plug, the 10 commandments are great. In fact, it was reading them that made me actually stick around at Lit. I found the site through a friend and was browsing, and got your Howto, read it, loved it, started posting on the Author's Hangout.

Glad you stuck around hon!

 

[TheEarl]

Would you care to elaborate on "Tom Swifties" and perhaps give some examples good and bad?

Swifties are generally the tool of the devil. Remembering that as a general rule works, although all writing rules are there to be broken if oyu can think up a good enough reason.

"I didn't mean to," he said sadly.
"That wasn't yours!" she said angrily.

God knows, I'm guilty of them on numerous occasions, but as a rule, they're cheap description. 'Sadly' and 'Angrily' are telling the reader something when it could be shown with a lot more style.

"I didn't mean to," he said. His lip quavered and I thought for a moment he was actually going to start crying.
"That wan't yours!" she said. She flung her arms up in an overdramatic gesture and her pretty features resolved into a scowl.

Much better.

The Earl

 

[TheEarl]

It's a worthwhile plug, the 10 commandments are great. In fact, it was reading them that made me actually stick around at Lit. I found the site through a friend and was browsing, and got your Howto, read it, loved it, started posting on the Author's Hangout.

God bless your little cotton socks and yours too Shannon. Glad I entertained.

The Earl

 

[rgraham666]

I'll disagree with using grammar checkers.

Maybe it's just the Luddite in me, but I have trouble trusting some computer programmer's idea of what 'proper grammar' is.

 

[rgraham666]

I'll also disagree with not using "5 dollar words".

I find I prefer using what I call 'rich language'. Certainly, it can be overdone, but I find using many different words in a story adds texture and flavour to it.

I don't get out the dictionary often, but my thesaurus sees a lot of use.

 

[shannon_est]

I'll disagree with using grammar checkers.

Maybe it's just the Luddite in me, but I have trouble trusting some computer programmer's idea of what 'proper grammar' is.

True, nothing will replace the human editor, but I appreciate the fact that Word has a grammar checker. Maybe because certain aspects of grammar are my downfall. More often than not, though, when using Word I click 'ignore' when it thinks something is wrong with my sentence structure. It does pick up a few things I've missed when I proof read. When I'm in doubt, I usually ask my editor. I find it hard to get past a particular part in a story if it seems iffy. I tend to edit as I go, which sometimes makes it hard for the story to flow smoothly.

I think I'm rambling again...

Sorry.

 

[shannon_est]

I'll also disagree with not using "5 dollar words".

I find I prefer using what I call 'rich language'. Certainly, it can be overdone, but I find using many different words in a story adds texture and flavour to it.

I don't get out the dictionary often, but my thesaurus sees a lot of use.

Overdoing was exactly my point. I did say 'not too many' as opposed to none. Sometimes we read erotica just for a quick fix and don't like to be tripping over words. Sprinkled throughout the story is fine, every other word in every sentence, IMHO, ruins a good thing.

The utilization of polysyllabic locution resonates in my cerebrum as nothing more than pretentious and ostentatious, initiating impediment of placid flux in an otherwise impressive narrative.

 

[Alex756]

I have to agree on the grammar check, I use it.

Not as a final have all end all, but as a .. hey did you MEAN for that sentence fragment to be there or WTF girl? this sentence is 6 lines long were you on something?

OK in a perfect world thr gramar checker would say such things, but at least popping up some sentences for me to reread is good

Also I do like to see the %passive. I am often WAY quilty, comes from too many papers on relatavism... so I need to watch passive like a hawk, and grammar check helps me do that.

-Alex

 

[shannon_est]

I have to agree on the grammar check, I use it.

Not as a final have all end all, but as a .. hey did you MEAN for that sentence fragment to be there or WTF girl? this sentence is 6 lines long were you on something?

-Alex

My personalized grammar check would have sound/voice and would say "Are you smokin' crack again? What the fuck is up with that?" Or maybe "Bitch... Pleaseeeee...."

 

[Weird Harold]

Would you care to elaborate on "Tom Swifties" and perhaps give some examples good and bad?

Swifties are generally the tool of the devil. Remembering that as a general rule works, although all writing rules are there to be broken if you can think up a good enough reason.

"I didn't mean to," he said sadly.
"That wasn't yours!" she said angrily.

TheEarl's examples are good ones for what I meant for novice authors to avoid, but they aren't technicly "Tom Swifties" -- they're not puns as well as redundant.

The name comes from a popular series of the thirties through fifties about a about a boy genious named Tom Swift. Tom Swift never just said anything; his dialogue was always tagged; usually with some sort of pun"

"That's my knife," Tom said cuttingly.
"Watch out for the broken glass," Tom shouted sharply.
"That's the best pudding I've ever eaten," Tom agreed smoothly.

Over the years, the outrageous and deliberate excess tagging of dialogue spawned a joke craze for "Tom Swifties" -- Things that were never in the books, but were humorous exagerations of an exagerated literary style -- and "Tom Swifties" or just "Swifties" became a term for over-tagged dialogue.

The primary purpose of dialogue tags is to assist the reader in identifying who is speaking, NOT, as many amateurs assume, to describe tone of voice or or other nuances. Tone and nuance are secondary function of dialogue tags and is not as necessary as novices believe.

Since most dialogue in fiction is between just two people, it is only strictly necessary to tag the first time each person speaks, often only the first speaker needs to be identified:

(Jack and Jill are the only two people in the scene: Tom Swifty Version)

"What do you want for lunch?" Jack asked.

"I don't know, what do you want?" Jill answered.

"How about a sheepherder's breakfast?" Jack responded, leering.

"Don't leer at me, you ape. What's a sheepherders breakfast?" Jill asked.

"Two Eggs, Hashbrowns, and a Piece of Ewe," Jack replied, leering more.

(Jack and Jill are the only two people in the scene: Tagless Version)

"What do you want for lunch, Jill?"

"I don't know, Jack. What do you want?"

"How about a sheepherder's breakfast?"

"Don't leer at me, you ape. What's a sheepherders breakfast?"

"Two Eggs, Hashbrowns, and a Piece of Ewe."


As novice writers try to tag every line of dialogue and avoid constant repitition of 'he said' "she said" they sometimes get to the point of of using every obscure way of tagging dialogue that has ever been used. The best way to avoid overdoing "he said, she said" is often to just leave the dialogue untagged except where absolutely necessary.

Different editors and authors will recommend some happy medium between my two examples but very few would recommend either example as the "proper" way to tag all dialogue.

The first is redundant and distracting, the second can get rather stilted because real people don't constantly refer to the person they're talking to by name every third exchange or so (a technique called internal tagging.)

I tend to under-tag dialogue and rely too much on internal tagging, but I've gotten very good comments on how I handle dialogue in spite of that.

 

[shannon_est]

As novice writers try to tag every line of dialogue and avoid constant repitition of 'he said' "she said" they sometimes get to the point of of using every obscure way of tagging dialogue that has ever been used. The best way to avoid overdoing "he said, she said" is often to just leave the dialogue untagged except where absolutely necessary.

"Ahhh, I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife.

Thanks so much for your explanation and examples. *raising hand* I'm guilty of over tagging. The 2nd story I wrote (which isn't on Lit) has quite a bit more dialogue than my first. I felt the whole he said, she said stuff was a bit much, but wasn't sure how to approach it. Now I know, or at least have a better idea. When I rewrite that story to conform to Lit's guidelines I will keep this in mind also.

 

[Ferawyn]

This seems like a good place to pop in a question about character thought in descriptive paragraphs. I often write in past tense, with conversations going on in whatever tense is required. Then when I want to express the thoughts of my character, I tend to put them in with the description, but in present tense. Like so:

He slowly walked towards them and saw their eyes widen in surprise. Except for the girl on the right? Now why isn't she surprised? He put on his slightly wicked grin and turned towards her.

This mixing has led to some muddled and confused paragraphs that I've had to rewrite or scrap entirely, so I would like to ask how others handle presenting character thought.

 

[Weird Harold]

This seems like a good place to pop in a question about character thought in descriptive paragraphs. I often write in past tense, with conversations going on in whatever tense is required. Then when I want to express the thoughts of my character, I tend to put them in with the description, but in present tense. Like so:

He slowly walked towards them and saw their eyes widen in surprise. Except for the girl on the right? Now why isn't she surprised? He put on his slightly wicked grin and turned towards her.

This mixing has led to some muddled and confused paragraphs that I've had to rewrite or scrap entirely, so I would like to ask how others handle presenting character thought.

Thoughts are dialogue and follow the same rules as dialogue except for punctuation -- instead of quote marks, use Italics when available or single quotes where they're not.

Some style manuals advocate not punctuating "internal dialogue" at all, but I've found, as you have, that not punctuating thoughts can lead to confusion.

He slowly walked towards them and saw their eyes widen in surprise. Except for the girl on the right? Now why isn't she surprised? He put on his slightly wicked grin and turned towards her.

or

He slowly walked towards them and saw their eyes widen in surprise.

Except for the girl on the right? Now why isn't she surprised?

He put on his slightly wicked grin and turned towards her.

Part of theproblem is that I don't know whether "Except for the girl on the right?" is part of the narration or part of his thoughts.

 

[shannon_est]

Thoughts are dialogue and follow the same rules as dialogue except for punctuation -- instead of quote marks, use Italics when available or single quotes where they're not.

Ok, since I'm reallyyy baddd with verb tense changes... is it proper for the verb in the thoughts to be in present tense, when the rest is in past tense? I think that was also part of Ferawyn's question too.

He slowly walked towards them and saw their eyes widen in surprise. Except for the girl on the right? Now why isn't she surprised? He put on his slightly wicked grin and turned towards her.

And thanks Harold for all your input on this thread so far. I have learned much so far.

 

[TheEarl]

I tend to mix in the thoughts into the descriptive paras as well.

She leaned back against the wall. Now what was she going to do? Johnny had already found someone else on the dancefloor and all she had for company was this tequila. Well, waste not, want not.

"Cheers," she said to no-one in particular, and downed the shot.

I think that's vaguely clear, although I'm not sure it's particularly good technique. However, as I said, rules in writing can sometimes be broken, if your reason's good enough.

The Earl

 

[Weird Harold]

Ok, since I'm reallyyy baddd with verb tense changes... is it proper for the verb in the thoughts to be in present tense, when the rest is in past tense? I think that was also part of Ferawyn's question too.

The verb tense for internal or external dialogue should be consistent with what the person would think or say -- that usually means present tense.

For example, in ferawyn's example, it wouldn't make much sense if the character thought Why wasn't she interested? because it something he's thinking at the time being described.

Dialogue of both types and monologues are literal transcriptions of what the characters say or think and people seldom speak or think in past tense about what is currently happening.

If a character catches someone in the act, they don't blurt out "what WERE you doing?" they blurt out what ARE you doing?"

On the other hand, if they wait until they've run off the interloper and are interogating the culprit after the fact, "what WERE you doing?" is the wording they'd use because they're talking about something that is in the character's past as well as in the reader's past.

Another example:

In narration, you'd write I asked what she was doing.

In dialogue you'd write "what are you doing?" I asked her.

 

[rgraham666]

The utilization of polysyllabic locution resonates in my cerebrum as nothing more than pretentious and ostentatious, initiating impediment of placid flux in an otherwise impressive narrative.

Damn, you're good.

That one made me want to gouge out my eyeballs.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

The best advice you can give anyone who really wants to learn to write is to read. Read the best stuff you can find, and read your ass off. Bathe in it.

Once you get past a basic command of the essentials, the quality of your writing is mostly determined by the quality of your reading.

 

[shannon_est]

Damn, you're good.

That one made me want to gouge out my eyeballs.

lmao My head hurt for a while after coming up with that one. lol