Advice about a guy

[Guest]

Ok, this may sound silly but I need some advice.

I really like this guy, I've known him for over 5 years and I've liked him for 4 years. I'm 19 and he's 22. I thought these feelings would go away eventually, just like all my other crushes, but they just keep getting stronger.

I've never asked him out (as in a date), but I have invited him to group things and he never goes. The main reason I haven't just asked him out is that I don't want to ruin the friendship we have if he says no. And since he's said no to everything else, it looks like he would say no to a date also, but I'm just so attracted to him.

Normally I'm not shy about guys, and I'm not afraid to just ask someone out. And I'm not afraid of rejection usually, but I like him so much that it scares me.

I'm worried he doesn't find me physically attractive and also that he doesn't view me as anything other than a friend.

Any advice on this situation would be welcomed!

 

[alltherage]

My guess is it comes down whether or not you can live with not knowing for certain what his answer would be. Why would a rejection of an invitation for a date harm the friendship? If the friendship is strong enough it will survive. It ought to at least. I think maybe this is not an all or nothing situation. If on the other hand you dated for some time and then had a breakup i think the friendship would be threatened. Ask yourself what you are willing to risk and when you fine the answer to that follow where that leads. BTW: I think most mens are very flattered when a woman asks them out. They are as nervous as us under all the bluster and fuss.

 

[nomdeplume]

I agree with Alltherage. It sounds like you are putting too much pressure on yourself. Ask him out for lunch or something were the two of you can go, without any of your friends, but where there are plenty of other people. Try not to treat it like a date. You seem to need to get over the barrier of asking him something that he will agree to doing, so try and pick something he's interested in, even if you're not.
The key here is to treat it like an occasion that friends do all the time, you know, football, drinking, fishing, walking....etc,etc. The more times you do this, the more chances you will have for intimacy if the chance presents itself.
As I said though, don't class it as a date, this will take the pressure off.

 

[Guest]

Just

Wouldnt you rather know what might happen then always wonder what could have had happened. take your chances and ask him out..and well if he doesnt want to..yeah it hurts but damn atleast you know and maybe nowwww you can move forward...to something most likely better for you.
smile!!!

 

[Aaron26]

.....

 

[SweetBrat73]

I agree with Aaron26

 

[Babydoll5272]

I agree

I couldn't agree more with the post above. If you truly like this person, and as you said the feelings are getting stronger. Then you need to at least find out if there is any potential romantic future for the two of you.

It may turn out the answer is no, then what have you really lost? True you had romantic feelings but you still have a good friend, and now the truth is out there and you two can move on and begin a stronger friendship. On the otherhand maybe he has been waiting to see if you are interested in him to make the first move!

Whatever the decision you owe it to yourself to know the answer and to be happy!

Best of luck
DOLL