Cheyenne
Ms. Smarty Pantsless
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2000
- Posts
- 59,553
November 5, 2001
BY TAMARA AUDI
FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER
On a Monday morning in Livonia, a group of mothers gleefully sent their children to class and their husbands to work, then gathered in Chris Thomas' living room. They passed plates of mini-bagels and mixed mimosas. They caught up on Kelley Risi's pregnancy (twin boys due in April) and talked about their summer vacations.
Around noon, a woman in a white striped shirt and navy pants arrived and began unpacking several large plastic storage bins. One woman mouthed, "Oh my god." Another clasped a hand over her face as items were set on a table.
When Kelly Anson finished setting up, she turned to the room. It was silent.
"OK, ladies," Anson said. "Are we ready?"
For the next two hours, she displayed her wares: body paints, kiwi-flavored gels, lotions, potions, games, and adult toys and "romance enhancers" that tested the imagination.
So long, Tupperware. Good-bye, home decor parties. Fare thee well, Mary Kay.
Women in the heartland have found something more fun than a solution to storing leftovers: the sex toy party. And in the last year, it has found its way into hundreds of living rooms across Michigan. Although no independent sales figures are available, companies that sponsor the parties say they are
generating millions of dollars for a burgeoning industry. From her corner of the living room, Thomas' 77-year-old aunt, Eileen McCallum, raised her eyebrows and lowered her glasses.
"Can I ask you a question?" she said to Anson, a stern expression creasing her face. She paused. "Where was this stuff 40 years ago?" The room erupted in laughter.
"Honey, it's not too late," Anson shot back. "We got it for you now!"
Sex toy parties are nothing new in many parts of the country. But they had never really caught on in the Midwest or the Bible Belt until recently. In the last two years, Ohio, Kentucky, Louisiana and Michigan have become the
top moneymakers, say national promoters of sex toy parties.
And since the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, sex toy party industry officials said they have seen a 40-percent increase in business. Men and women, sexologists and sex toy party hostesses say, are paying more attention to their intimate relationships.
"It's escapism. Things are so depressing right now and people need something else to focus on," said Kristin Gottschalk, a sex toy distributor who has recently booked parties in Oakland County. On Thursday night, she ran a party in Troy for a group of women who booked her after Sept. 11.
Party hostesses said they believed having the parties at this time is important for mental health and for the economy.
"As much of a tragedy as that was, I felt strongly that we just had to go on with life. That's what this party was," said Karen Croley, 31, a day-care operator who lives in Lansing. Croley hosted a sex toy party Sept. 14.
Intimacy has become more important to Americans since Sept. 11,
psychologists and sexologists said. Seeking physical closeness is a natural response to disaster, they said. And the sex toy party industry is benefiting. Even before Sept. 11, the sex toy business was expanding in Georgia, Texas, North Carolina, and South Carolina, said Patty Brisben, co-owner of Slumber Parties Inc., a national sex toy party business based near Cincinatti.
Before Sept. 11, Slumber Parties recruited about 30 saleswomen a month. In October alone, they recruited 130, said Chris Cicchinelli, Slumber Parties vice president. Those numbers speak to the new demand for intimacy-enhancing products, and to recent layoffs, he said.
Last year, Anson said she and her group of 60 Michigan saleswomen sold $1.3 million in sex products for Slumber Parties. Anson's was the first sales group to hit the million-dollar mark. The company has 337 distributors in Michigan, more than in any of its 43 other states. Last year's total sales for Michigan were $3.5 million, Cicchinelli said.
What in the world is going on?
Sheri McGiveron says she has the answer. The one that nobody likes to hear. Cover your ears. Avert your eyes. Skip this next paragraph.
"Mothers have sex, too," said McGiveron, a mother from Holt, near Lansing, who puts on sex toy parties for a national company called Sweet Sinsations. "And it seems like now they're not embarrassed to admit it. Why wouldn't they be interested in sex, or in pleasing their partner? Because they go to church? Because they're Little League moms? What we do isn't dirty or
raunchy. It's geared toward keeping relationships healthy."
Having saturated the male market, the sex industry is turning its attention to women.
"Viagra boosted sexual functioning for the men, and left their partners in the dust. We're in an era right now where the pendulum is swinging away from the male and now we're looking at the partners of the male," said Patti Britton, a PhD in human sexuality and sex coach for iVillage.com.
Sex toy saleswomen say their best customers are women in their mid-30s to 60s in long-term relationships that need a little kick. Alice Patterson, founder of Sinsational Parties, based in Carterville, Ill., said she has done parties for groups of lesbians and male-female couples. Other distributors have done all-male parties for gay and straight men. Distributors say they do not allow anyone younger than 18 to attend.
All-female parties of married women are the most common and profitable, said party business owners.
"It's nice to be able to talk about this stuff honestly," said Carry Cox, 35, of Romulus, who went to the Livonia party. "You're with your friends, so it's OK."
Women used to communicate sexual information to each other through rituals that have disappeared in the modern world, said Tomi-Ann Roberts, a specialist in gender and social psychology at Colorado College in Colorado Springs.
"These parties have the potential to be empowering for women. Men have all kinds of opportunities to talk about sex," Roberts said. "The living room party creates a context for women to talk about sex in a culture that doesn't let women express themselves as openly as men."
But the parties could have a downside if they reinforce the idea that "women have to be sexual and sexually attractive all the time," Roberts said.
At parties in Michigan it is not unusual for mothers and daughters to attend the parties together, and for husbands and boyfriends to encourage their partners to attend -- and spend.
"When my husband found out what kind of party this was, he said, 'Take the card. Spend whatever you want.' He's never said that before," said Debbie Rioux, 30, of Wixom.
Rioux put $210 on the credit card and walked out of the party with a pink bag filled with purchases. Most of the women at the party said theyspent at least $100. In two hours, Anson sold $1,400 worth of sex products. She keeps halfof the profits.
At the end of the party, women filled out order forms privately with Anson behind the closed doors of Thomas' dining room. While the ordering system is meant to offer some measure of privacy, some of the women shared their purchases with their friends, hoots of laughter coming from all corners of
Thomas' living room. Thomas is now a saleswoman for Slumber Parties.
But even Thomas has to draw the line somewhere. From the kitchen, she eyed her mother, who was sifting through a pink bag of newly purchased products. Thomas fought to remain cool and progressive, listing the reasons it was OK to have your mother at your sex toy party:
"I mean, everyone has sex right?" she said. "It's the year 2001, right?"
Contact TAMARA AUDI at 313-222-6582 or audi@freepress.com.
BY TAMARA AUDI
FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER
On a Monday morning in Livonia, a group of mothers gleefully sent their children to class and their husbands to work, then gathered in Chris Thomas' living room. They passed plates of mini-bagels and mixed mimosas. They caught up on Kelley Risi's pregnancy (twin boys due in April) and talked about their summer vacations.
Around noon, a woman in a white striped shirt and navy pants arrived and began unpacking several large plastic storage bins. One woman mouthed, "Oh my god." Another clasped a hand over her face as items were set on a table.
When Kelly Anson finished setting up, she turned to the room. It was silent.
"OK, ladies," Anson said. "Are we ready?"
For the next two hours, she displayed her wares: body paints, kiwi-flavored gels, lotions, potions, games, and adult toys and "romance enhancers" that tested the imagination.
So long, Tupperware. Good-bye, home decor parties. Fare thee well, Mary Kay.
Women in the heartland have found something more fun than a solution to storing leftovers: the sex toy party. And in the last year, it has found its way into hundreds of living rooms across Michigan. Although no independent sales figures are available, companies that sponsor the parties say they are
generating millions of dollars for a burgeoning industry. From her corner of the living room, Thomas' 77-year-old aunt, Eileen McCallum, raised her eyebrows and lowered her glasses.
"Can I ask you a question?" she said to Anson, a stern expression creasing her face. She paused. "Where was this stuff 40 years ago?" The room erupted in laughter.
"Honey, it's not too late," Anson shot back. "We got it for you now!"
Sex toy parties are nothing new in many parts of the country. But they had never really caught on in the Midwest or the Bible Belt until recently. In the last two years, Ohio, Kentucky, Louisiana and Michigan have become the
top moneymakers, say national promoters of sex toy parties.
And since the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, sex toy party industry officials said they have seen a 40-percent increase in business. Men and women, sexologists and sex toy party hostesses say, are paying more attention to their intimate relationships.
"It's escapism. Things are so depressing right now and people need something else to focus on," said Kristin Gottschalk, a sex toy distributor who has recently booked parties in Oakland County. On Thursday night, she ran a party in Troy for a group of women who booked her after Sept. 11.
Party hostesses said they believed having the parties at this time is important for mental health and for the economy.
"As much of a tragedy as that was, I felt strongly that we just had to go on with life. That's what this party was," said Karen Croley, 31, a day-care operator who lives in Lansing. Croley hosted a sex toy party Sept. 14.
Intimacy has become more important to Americans since Sept. 11,
psychologists and sexologists said. Seeking physical closeness is a natural response to disaster, they said. And the sex toy party industry is benefiting. Even before Sept. 11, the sex toy business was expanding in Georgia, Texas, North Carolina, and South Carolina, said Patty Brisben, co-owner of Slumber Parties Inc., a national sex toy party business based near Cincinatti.
Before Sept. 11, Slumber Parties recruited about 30 saleswomen a month. In October alone, they recruited 130, said Chris Cicchinelli, Slumber Parties vice president. Those numbers speak to the new demand for intimacy-enhancing products, and to recent layoffs, he said.
Last year, Anson said she and her group of 60 Michigan saleswomen sold $1.3 million in sex products for Slumber Parties. Anson's was the first sales group to hit the million-dollar mark. The company has 337 distributors in Michigan, more than in any of its 43 other states. Last year's total sales for Michigan were $3.5 million, Cicchinelli said.
What in the world is going on?
Sheri McGiveron says she has the answer. The one that nobody likes to hear. Cover your ears. Avert your eyes. Skip this next paragraph.
"Mothers have sex, too," said McGiveron, a mother from Holt, near Lansing, who puts on sex toy parties for a national company called Sweet Sinsations. "And it seems like now they're not embarrassed to admit it. Why wouldn't they be interested in sex, or in pleasing their partner? Because they go to church? Because they're Little League moms? What we do isn't dirty or
raunchy. It's geared toward keeping relationships healthy."
Having saturated the male market, the sex industry is turning its attention to women.
"Viagra boosted sexual functioning for the men, and left their partners in the dust. We're in an era right now where the pendulum is swinging away from the male and now we're looking at the partners of the male," said Patti Britton, a PhD in human sexuality and sex coach for iVillage.com.
Sex toy saleswomen say their best customers are women in their mid-30s to 60s in long-term relationships that need a little kick. Alice Patterson, founder of Sinsational Parties, based in Carterville, Ill., said she has done parties for groups of lesbians and male-female couples. Other distributors have done all-male parties for gay and straight men. Distributors say they do not allow anyone younger than 18 to attend.
All-female parties of married women are the most common and profitable, said party business owners.
"It's nice to be able to talk about this stuff honestly," said Carry Cox, 35, of Romulus, who went to the Livonia party. "You're with your friends, so it's OK."
Women used to communicate sexual information to each other through rituals that have disappeared in the modern world, said Tomi-Ann Roberts, a specialist in gender and social psychology at Colorado College in Colorado Springs.
"These parties have the potential to be empowering for women. Men have all kinds of opportunities to talk about sex," Roberts said. "The living room party creates a context for women to talk about sex in a culture that doesn't let women express themselves as openly as men."
But the parties could have a downside if they reinforce the idea that "women have to be sexual and sexually attractive all the time," Roberts said.
At parties in Michigan it is not unusual for mothers and daughters to attend the parties together, and for husbands and boyfriends to encourage their partners to attend -- and spend.
"When my husband found out what kind of party this was, he said, 'Take the card. Spend whatever you want.' He's never said that before," said Debbie Rioux, 30, of Wixom.
Rioux put $210 on the credit card and walked out of the party with a pink bag filled with purchases. Most of the women at the party said theyspent at least $100. In two hours, Anson sold $1,400 worth of sex products. She keeps halfof the profits.
At the end of the party, women filled out order forms privately with Anson behind the closed doors of Thomas' dining room. While the ordering system is meant to offer some measure of privacy, some of the women shared their purchases with their friends, hoots of laughter coming from all corners of
Thomas' living room. Thomas is now a saleswoman for Slumber Parties.
But even Thomas has to draw the line somewhere. From the kitchen, she eyed her mother, who was sifting through a pink bag of newly purchased products. Thomas fought to remain cool and progressive, listing the reasons it was OK to have your mother at your sex toy party:
"I mean, everyone has sex right?" she said. "It's the year 2001, right?"
Contact TAMARA AUDI at 313-222-6582 or audi@freepress.com.
Although I am looking for a mature man since I am now 40 years old myself!
