Adolescents Too Fond of Oral Sex

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Adolescents overfond of oral sex

Bettina Arndt writes in The Age that teens are too fond of oral sex:

Last year Neil Mitchell reported a scandal over girls offering sexual favours, including oral sex, during lunchtime at a Melbourne Catholic school. More recently year 8 and 9 boys at a Sydney private school apparently hired a hotel room and invited girls over for a competition to see who could be serviced most quickly - a competition which, as an adolescent specialist quipped, would be over fairly quickly with boys of that age.

 

[angela146]

Let me set issue of 8 and 9 year olds aside for the moment and focus on age 11+ (in the US that would be middle school and high school).

The article gets all huffy about adolescents having oral sex but does not make the case as to why it's bad. In fact, it goes off on a tangent of girls being uncomfortable with their bodies and therefore giving oral sex to boys ... but ... it goes on to admit that boys are coming around to the idea of giving oral sex also.

The reality is that many boys give oral sex (or at least hand sex) to girls but they are usually embarrassed to do it in front of others.

It is, in fact, the boys who are less comfortable with their sexuality at an earlier age. They talk a lot about having done it but are scared shitless of actually doing it.

Girls are (generally) more sexually aggressive then boys (i.e. making more sexual advances on boys than boys do on girls) in the early teen years for one simple reason: girls bodies (generally) develop a year or two sooner than boys of the same age.

Now, to the point: teenagers are going to have sex. They have been having sex for many many years. The age at which they start has been getting younger over the years, but that is primarily because they are physically maturing much earlier then they have in the past.

Yes, it's possible to transmit STDs with oral sex, but it's much less likely than with intercourse. Plus, oral sex does not cause pregnancy.

I, for one, applaud today's teenagers for having the restraint to experiment with oral sex and delay having intercourse. It's a way of satiating the curiosity and intense desires that they all have without taking as much risk as our generation did.

 

[Pure]

Well, Angela, given such depraved views and tastes it would not surprise me if you hung around porn sites--perhaps 'literary' ones-on the 'net.

Next you're going to be saying that neither virginity nor fidelity matter.

 

[Clare Quilty]

The reality is that many boys give oral sex (or at least hand sex) to girls but they are usually embarrassed to do it in front of others.

It is, in fact, the boys who are less comfortable with their sexuality at an earlier age. They talk a lot about having done it but are scared shitless of actually doing it.

Boys will do anything a pretty girl wants (read lets) them to do. At least that's the way it was when I was a boy.

 

[herecomestherain]

Who is Bettina to say that a young woman engaged in giving a blow job doesn't feel powerful, sexy and turned on. I did.

From a Melbourne based Aussie a couple of quick comments. You can pretty much discount anything that Neil Mitchell has ever said or is likely to ever say. Bettina used to be okay then kind of got side tracked in the last couple of years and her articles tend to have a moral tone that irks me.

I commend her comments about education and information regarding health. Perhaps we need to teach young women how to ask for what they might like too.

Year 8 and 9 students are around 12, 13, 14.

 

[SlickTony]

I'd feel better about it if I got the impression that there was some reciprocity going on.

 

[angela146]

Well, Angela, given such depraved views and tastes it would not surprise me if you hung around porn sites--perhaps 'literary' ones-on the 'net.

Next you're going to be saying that neither virginity nor fidelity matter.

Thank you Pure...

Actually, since I gave my virginity to my husband and I've never been unfaithful* to him, it would be hypocritical of me to take a position against either virginity or fidelity.

Having said that, I am strongly in favor of fidelity (defined here as being faithful to one's wedding vows). I also think virginity belongs to the virgin and is his/hers to do with as she/he pleases.

(*I've had sex with other people but only after we were married and always with his permission).

 

[Pure]

OK, Angela,

my prurient interest is getting the better of me.

The reality is that many boys give oral sex (or at least hand sex) to girls but they are usually embarrassed to do it in front of others.

You mean to tell me the 12 yr olds girls are saying "You can't fuck me, but eat my pussy!"

(*I've had sex with other people but only after we were married and always with his permission).

Like I said, you're definitely depraved. My kinda person. If you ever want someone to 'watch'....

 

[cantdog]

you can't fuck me, but eat my pussy

Well, yeah. That's the way I remember it, and very clearly, too. They didn't strike the bargain in so many words, but yes indeed. And that was further back than you might think.

cantdog (50 years old now)

 

[angela146]

You mean to tell me the 12 yr olds girls are saying "You can't fuck me, but eat my pussy!"

Oh, more along the lines of "You can't fuck me but if you touch me down there I might think about sucking you off... if I feel like it."

(*I've had sex with other people but only after we were married and always with his permission).Like I said, you're definitely depraved. My kinda person. If you ever want someone to 'watch'....

I'm starting to write up some of our escapades as stories. That will give you a fly-on-the-wall view.

But back to the topic at hand...

Originally posted by Cantdog
Well, yeah. That's the way I remember it, and very clearly, too. They didn't strike the bargain in so many words, but yes indeed. And that was further back than you might think.

Late 1960's? Would you be willing to tell us more about what it was like to be a teenager in the late 60's?

Is my understanding correct that girls would have been "sprouting" at age 12 back then rather than 9 or 10 as is typical now?

My teen memories are from the late 80's and early 90's. I was an early bloomer and had a woman's body by age 10.

 

[cantdog]

Oh, more along the lines of "You can't fuck me but if you touch me down there I might think about sucking you off... if I feel like it."I'm starting to write up some of our escapades as stories. That will give you a fly-on-the-wall view.

But back to the topic at hand...
Late 1960's? Would you be willing to tell us more about what it was like to be a teenager in the late 60's?

Is my understanding correct that girls would have been "sprouting" at age 12 back then rather than 9 or 10 as is typical now?

My teen memories are from the late 80's and early 90's. I was an early bloomer and had a woman's body by age 10. [/B]

11 or 12, some later. Twelve was about the normal time, I guess. Some thirteens had enormous breasts and full hips, looked seventeen. They must have begun developing and menstruating a year before; these things don't go on overnight. Some twelves were certainly women.

I have written extensively about what it was like to be a teenager in that time, but none of it is postable here on Lit. The one time I did moot one of those stories, the site rejected it.

The POV character, said in the story to be fourteen, saw a date rape occur. For Lit. purposes, I made the seventeen-year-olds eighteen, but they were seventeen when I myself saw the incident happen from the grass behind that tent. I was thirteen, not that it matters. But for Lit, even to have a young person see any "sex" was enough to dump the story.

In that time, a developed woman at ten would have been remarkable but not unheard of. We eat a lot more hormones and the like in our Republican meat now.

cantdog

 

[cantdog]

Link to the rejected story

This is the link to the thread in "Story Ideas" where I posted it.

cantdog

edited to add: This is the continuation of the story.

I have nearly a novel on it now, but there's hardly any sex.

cantdog

 

[angela146]

We eat a lot more hormones and the like in our Republican meat now.

I'll reply to you post later on but right now I have to think seriously about "eating Republican meat" (versus eating Democrat meat).

Hubby is an independant with Democrat leanings. I have actually given a couple of BJs to a Republican friend of ours and he did seem to be hornier than hubby usually is. Of course, it was the first sex he had had in a long time so I'm not sure it was his party affiliation that made the difference.

(Tongue firmly planted in cheek).

 

[cantdog]

Well, I must say that really isn't, as you note, a reply.

To the post, I mean.

ten, Jesus. And that was late in your circle. Yeah, I believe it. I am acquainted with an eleven, lissome but a decided woman all the same.

It must make fourth and fifth grade as bad as middle school was for us.

No wonder kid's lit is so much more sexualized. They're an audience that knows what they like to read about.

cantdog

 

[angela146]

ten, Jesus. And that was late in your circle.

No, I was early. However, that was twenty years ago. Today, as I understand it, 9 - 10 is about average for a first period.

Yeah, I believe it. I am acquainted with an eleven, lissome but a decided woman all the same.

It must make fourth and fifth grade as bad as middle school was for us.

It would be interesting to hear from a grade-school teacher on this subject. My husband is a high school teacher and deals with 14-18 year olds, which is another world entirely.

No wonder kid's lit is so much more sexualized. They're an audience that knows what they like to read about. cantdog

Hmm... Can you cite some examples of "more sexualized kid's lit."? Are you thinking of books like "Beasus and Ramona?" (I know I spelled that wrong). This is part of a series of books about a girl going thorugh that age range. Or are you saying that kid's lit today is actually talking about sexual activity?

 

[SlickTony]

I always thought that the so-called joys of childhood were vastly overrated, but I wouldn't be a kid nowadays for all the gold in Acapulco. They're political footballs. Anything in the world that someone doesn't approve of, all he has to do is raise the howl, "Think of the chilllllllldren!" and people's thought processes just shut down. OTOH, kids can be charged as adults at increasingly younger ages. Society's attitude towards children is seriously fucked up.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I always thought that the so-called joys of childhood were vastly overrated, but I wouldn't be a kid . . . charged as adults at increasingly younger ages. Society's attitude towards children is seriously fucked up.

Folks only like the concept of children ( and most likely, the conception.) They don’t like the actual child itself. They won’t pay to see that all of them are fed, or have adequate health care. To keep them penned up out of mischief, but ignorant, is all the schooling most folks are willing to support.

Folk sit about in their cliques deciding whether it was because the kids have it so soft that they form themselves into cliques and start shooting each other in school, or whether it is the fault of the kind of entertainment that the folks don’t enjoy, which turns the kids into homicidal maniacs. In that way, a logical distinction can be drawn between shooting assault weapons at human-shaped targets, which is defensible, and pressing buttons to activate ersatz weapons that blow away tiny replicas of people, which is what causes all the trouble.

The folks think long and hard before deciding that to turf any kid out of school, who gives the faintest indication that he may cause trouble in the future, will make the kid into a better citizen. If he actually commits a crime, the folks’ legal representatives already have a record of the kid’s antisocial behavior, to justify charging the kid as a fully-grown criminal adult.

As you can see, I am most impressed by the high value that folks place upon both their own, and their neighbors’ children.

 

[cantdog]

People are generally scared to death of their young people. No coffee shop can choose its clientele. The choice is the other way around. Some bars become biker bars, some gay bars, and often the owner had another thing in mind.

We had a coffee shop which had an internet table or five, and it suddenly became a meeting place for young people. I was hanging with young people a lot at the time, so I saw it go down first hand.

The neighbor businesses pulled up all the park benches for five blocks; they were "attracting the wrong element."

The businesses claimed the coffee shop was driving away customers with the same wrong element. The police harassed the place, it finally had to close, in a welter of silly repressive scenes.

cantdog

 

[SlickTony]

It would help if the kids themselves would try to be more political. Sometimes it can be immensely effective when they do. I believe it was young people who got McDonald's to stop using styrofoam clamshell boxes, and a few years back kids were collecting pocket money to buy and remit slaves in the south of Sudan. (Of course apparently even Colin Powell cannot get the Sudanese government to admit that they are behind the Janjaweed militias that are ethnically cleansing Darfur, but that's another story).

 

[herecomestherain]

Hey CantDog, I felt sad when I read your post about the coffee shop closing and I think you are right, folks are scared of young people.In the late 70's my parents owned a little cafe in a country town of 2000 people, complete with those old fashioned booth type seats. That place was the centre of the world for socialising if you were a teenager, very few other places existed...we sold thousands of bottles of coke and other stuff.

And you know those kids respected my parents for letting them stay and making them welcome way after their purchases were finished, if a busload of tourists arrived looking for lunch the kids would know the seats were needed, if they'd finished they'd go for a stroll and drop by later. I'm not saying it didn't get loud and all over the place occasionally, I'm just agreeing that young people need places to be, where they can just hangout and talk.

I read this article a while back, it's quite an interesting perspective. (You don't need to register to read it, just click proceed to article)

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/03/19/1079199429228.html?oneclick=true

 

[cantdog]

Herecomes,

(How silly it is sometimes to use these names in the vocative)

Just hanging out and talking is so very important, both with friends and for couples. A place of that kind is gold.

I helped to run one myself while I was still fourteen and fifteen, through an extraordinary set of circumstances. It was called the Garden of Eden Coffeehouse. I tried, some ten years or so ago, now, to create some such place again, since the need is as great as ever. This was soon after the internet coffee shop had been finally forced to close.

I could raise no interest except among the Universalist church, where the minister thought it a splendid idea. Then the UU church's roof caved in at one corner, and the trustees suddenly lost interest in nearly every project but the Roof Committee! After the furor of the roof began to fade, the minister left for a position out of state.

But I still feel sad for the poor buggers. They are below drinking age and so have no place to light. They flit instead around and around in their cars, eventually meeting in a parking lot (car park for you, I think) until the cops drive them off because the neighbors or the owner has complained. One car park succeeds the next. The ones without cars do the same thing, only earlier in the evening and with a smaller range of travel. If you follow me.

Good for you to have run a haven of that kind. I am very proud of the Garden of Eden, and you should be, too.

 

[mismused]

Not sure what this has to do with oral sex, but. . .

Just read this article, and thought some might find it interesting:

"Bizarre Physical Effect of Watching TV

Children and adolescents who watch too much television may actually experience early-onset puberty as a result. That's the word from Italian researchers who concluded too much TV may distort the hormonal balance of teenagers.

The BBC News Online reports that scientists from Mayer Hospital at the University of Florence in Italy found that when children did not watch any television for one full week and instead played sports, read books, and engaged in other activities, they experienced a 30 percent jump in melatonin levels, the hormone that is thought to prevent early puberty. "This is statistically a very significant result," lead study author Robert Salti told the BBC. "It suggests that an excess of television (viewing) can modify some hormones." If the research findings are confirmed, it would be the first physiological effect of TV viewing on young people. Of course, many believe excessive exposure to TV sex and violence has a damaging psychological effect on kids.

Salti's sure-to-be-controversial hypothesis: The light and radiation emitted from television screens and computer screens disturbs the production of melatonin, the hormone that regulates the body's internal clock, which may be a factor in influencing the start of puberty. Levels are lowest in the morning and highest around 8 p.m. when the body prepares for sleep. "There is a big difference between the children of today and those of thirty years ago," Salti told the BBC. "Today they spend very many hours, five or six a day in some cases, in front of the TV." The instances of precocious puberty are increasing worldwide. Salti says some girls as young as 7 are entering puberty."

Also read somewhere that a nine year old girl was impregnated by someone in her family, I think in Nicaragua, or Honduras. TV, or something else making her enter puberty??

mismused

 

[SlickTony]

I doubt television has that much to do with it. In fact, it sounds like a crackpot theory. My son is approaching puberty at much the same age his dad did, and he watches even more television. Plus, all the video games! I think it's all the hormones in the animal feed, plus superior nutrition.

 

[cantdog]

It would help if the kids themselves would try to be more political. Sometimes it can be immensely effective when they do. I believe it was young people who got McDonald's to stop using styrofoam clamshell boxes, and a few years back kids were collecting pocket money to buy and remit slaves in the south of Sudan. (Of course apparently even Colin Powell cannot get the Sudanese government to admit that they are behind the Janjaweed militias that are ethnically cleansing Darfur, but that's another story).

Grassroots organizing is so incredibly effective. All over the country groups of neighbors have banded together to force correction of pollution problems or other difficulties that the political and governmental systems were ignoring.

I saw one here in town where a stream would periodically stink to high heaven. After being ignored and watching their children be sick long enough, they made some real noise at EPA and the City Council, the National Guard (whose plane de-icers flowed direstly off the tarmac into the stream) and anyone else they could reach. They've set some big efforts in motion with no budget at all.

Kids have done the same. Anyone can.