Adobe Acrobat suck my ass.

[OUTSIDER]

On my PC I have "Adobe Acrobat", I've never needed it until today and the first time I need it........it fucks up on me !!!!! WANKER !!.

Today I needed to print off a document thats important to me in real life, the site I had to go to only has the document in PDF (Adobe Acrobat) form, so I think hey I'm cool I have that so I try to download the doc only to be told.....and I quote.

"Unable to find or create the font 'NewJohnstonMedium' some characters may not display or print correctly".

So I think no worry I just happen to have Adobe Acrobat 5 (the latest version I believe) here on CD I'll just do a fast install and be right back on track in no time, only to get the self same statement come up again......so I called my Bro in law who has a much better PC than mine and he got the same thing to !!!!

Say what the fuck you like about Windows and Bill Gates, when I've needed them to work they've worked.

I hereby tell Adobe to go fuck themselves with a rusty razor blade

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

You should still be able to view and print the doc without the font - it will (should) substitute another font.

The problem is really neither with Adobe or Windoze. Believe me, I know this stuff - this is what I wrote software for at my last job (publication/prepress/imposition). You would have the same problem with a Postscript document, or PDF on any machine (MacOS, Linux, whatever) with missing fonts.

The problem is with the doc - it should have contained the font instead of relying on you to have it, unless the font is known to be a popular one (like Courier).

I prefer HTML for everything except printing, and then PDF works fairly well for making sure that you can share a document and it will print out from any computer - as long as the document creater does their job.

Unfortunately, too many people feel they must create docs with a thousand different fonts, half of them not included on the typical user's machine, and all of those not included in the doc itself.

 

[OUTSIDER]

I'll give it a try but when I downloaded it, it came out as gibberish but I'll try printing it off just to see.

Thank you.

 

[OUTSIDER]

LOL, I am now the proud owner of six pages of utter fucking gibberish........thats what I get for taking advice from a porn site

 

[Guest]

My, My, you are about a nasty asshole. People are trying to help you and all you can do is put them down. Serve you right if no one ever talked to you again on this web site

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

LOL, I am now the proud owner of six pages of utter fucking gibberish........thats what I get for taking advice from a porn site

Sorry I can't help you more - I have never heard of that particular font (there are so many). I would complain first to the document provider - it should work if they did their job right.

The two biggest problems we had with PS documents were missing fonts and bad Postscript code (MS apps make the worst PS). Postscript is actually a language so it is easy to fuck it up if you don't know what you are doing.

PDF on the other hand, is not a language - it is a dictionary based data format for describing pages. But it too can suffer problems from missing fonts, although usually not as bad.

With both doc formats, a considerable amount of time is spent by printing/publishing/imposition apps validating the file, fixing mistakes in the file, and finding missing fonts and images.

But the app can only do so much. Acrobat is not perfect, it does have its flaws (believe me - I've seen a lot of the code that goes into it, it isn't pretty). Still, I would go to the doc source first.

 

[OUTSIDER]

What a sad case you must be.

DOH you posted to fast STG this was for the troll.


Hey I've been trolled !.........woo hoo.

 

[Evil Kirk]

Reminds me of the time the M-5 computer tried to take over my ship. MY ship! It belongs to ME! I'll never lose you -- NEVER! I should have had Scotty melt the damn thing down and turn it into a zero gravity toilet so I could shit on it for the ENTIRE FIVE YEAR MISSION!

Any chance you can open it with SimpleText? If not, try copying all that gibberish and posting it into a word processor documents and changing all the fonts to Times or something -- even if the characters are gibberish your computer should be able to translate them.

If that doesn't work try getting somebody Scottish to melt down your computer and turn it into a toilet so you can shit on it for the NEXT FIVE YEARS!




_________________

"Fire!"

 

[OUTSIDER]

Sorry I can't help you more - I have never heard of that particular font (there are so many). I would complain first to the document provider - it should work if they did their job right.

The two biggest problems we had with PS documents were missing fonts and bad Postscript code (MS apps make the worst PS). Postscript is actually a language so it is easy to fuck it up if you don't know what you are doing.

PDF on the other hand, is not a language - it is a dictionary based data format for describing pages. But it too can suffer problems from missing fonts, although usually not as bad.

With both doc formats, a considerable amount of time is spent by printing/publishing/imposition apps validating the file, fixing mistakes in the file, and finding missing fonts and images.

But the app can only do so much. Acrobat is not perfect, it does have its flaws (believe me - I've seen a lot of the code that goes into it, it isn't pretty). Still, I would go to the doc source first.

Thanks mate I will be posting the gibberish off tomorrow along with a short pithy note.

You gave it your best shot unlike the troll who can only troll and is thus doomed to a life of failure and will probably die alone surounded by take out box's in a dingy one room apartment smelling of piss.

 

[OUTSIDER]

Reminds me of the time the M-5 computer tried to take over my ship. MY ship! It belongs to ME! I'll never lose you -- NEVER! I should have had Scotty melt the damn thing down and turn it into a zero gravity toilet so I could shit on it for the ENTIRE FIVE YEAR MISSION!

Any chance you can open it with SimpleText? If not, try copying all that gibberish and posting it into a word processor documents and changing all the fonts to Times or something -- even if the characters are gibberish your computer should be able to translate them.

If that doesn't work try getting somebody Scottish to melt down your computer and turn it into a toilet so you can shit on it for the NEXT FIVE YEARS!




_________________

"Fire!"

"She canny take na moore captin"......"the main crap reactor is near melt down and the dyshittyem crystal has the runs".

 

[Good Kirk]

Have you tried swaying the program with homey reason? It worked wonders for me on Veejur. Veejur had the entire massed knowledge of the known Universe, but I was able to "talk it down" with my idosyncratic human logic. Go figure.

Perhaps speaking to one of those very nice technical people might help. I quite enjoy the "hold" music. I find it very soothing, and it helps me concentrate before piloting through ion storms.




________________________

"But, Spock, we're human beings, flesh and blood..."

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Have you tried swaying the program with homey reason? It worked wonders for me on Veejur. Veejur had the entire massed knowledge of the known Universe, but I was able to "talk it down" with my idosyncratic human logic. Go figure.

Perhaps speaking to one of those very nice technical people might help. I quite enjoy the "hold" music. I find it very soothing, and it helps me concentrate before piloting through ion storms.

Bah! Veejur was just Nomad 2.0 with more bells and whistles. You did the same thing with Nomad, but didn't take a full length movie to do it. You are slipping!

 

[OUTSIDER]

I tried but I just kept getting some Scotish guy screaming at me that "she canny tek na moor captin".........!?!

 

[Evil Kirk]

That would be Sean Connery pissing about Brocoli offering him another Bond picture. That bastard gets better looking every year, and I look like I swallowed a meteor. That Scottish BASTARD! Sulu, fire! FIRE NOW!




__________________________

"I don't want my pain taken away...I NEED my pain!"

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

Good Kirk, get your butt in here and calm your evil twin down. Firing's not allowed on lit.

 

[OUTSIDER]

That would be Sean Connery pissing about Brocoli offering him another Bond picture. That bastard gets better looking every year, and I look like I swallowed a meteor. That Scottish BASTARD! Sulu, fire! FIRE NOW!




__________________________

"I don't want my pain taken away...I NEED my pain!"

The famous Scotish nationalist Sean Connery today said from his home in LA.......

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Any chance you can open it with SimpleText? If not, try copying all that gibberish and posting it into a word processor documents and changing all the fonts to Times or something -- even if the characters are gibberish your computer should be able to translate them.

I think Outsider is trying to get something he can print for a form or something like that - this is usually what people provide PDFs for. Copying it somewhere else, even if possible (which I doubt since it probably won't display correctly either) won't do.

Paperless office? Not quite there yet.

 

[OUTSIDER]

LMAO, Paperless office......that one always gives me a good laugh, they've been saying that for years.

 

[OUTSIDER]

I think Outsider is trying to get something he can print for a form or something like that - this is usually what people provide PDFs for. Copying it somewhere else, even if possible (which I doubt since it probably won't display correctly either) won't do.

Paperless office? Not quite there yet.

It is a form, other than that I can't say anymore as it's a private real life matter that need's to be sorted ASAP, so tomorrow I'll send off the gibberish with a note telling them why it's gibberish and why they'd better send me what I need by snailmail or else.

 

[freakygirl]

ummmm dumb blonde question here.. but can't you go find the font you need and download it? i've seen on several websites where you can download free fonts.. would this solve your problem? or am i just sticking my dumb ass into something i know nothing about?

 

[OUTSIDER]

ummmm dumb blonde question here.. but can't you go find the font you need and download it? i've seen on several websites where you can download free fonts.. would this solve your problem? or am i just sticking my dumb ass into something i know nothing about?

Thats not a bad idea except I have no idea where to look for this thing but I'll give it a try.

 

[freakygirl]

*look of surprise* GOOD IDEA????? me.. have a good idea?? omg.. gotta go write this one on the calendar.. i've NEVER had a good idea before.. *does the happy dance*

wait.. i'm doing a search.. and i've found nothing so far..

I'll see what is on my comp.. hell maybe i have it.. lol

 

[freakygirl]

nope, it's not on my comp.. dammit

ok.. off to do some more searching..

OUTSIDER! TURN ON YOUR DAMN ICQ!!!

 

[freakygirl]

ok, here is some stuff i found.. maybe it will help.. maybe it won't.. how the hell do i know.. i'm a comp idiot.. i just pretend to know what i'm doing




http://desktoppub.about.com/library...m?iam=dpile&terms=+fonts++for++Adobe++Acrobat



http://desktoppub.about.com/library/weekly/aa981110.htm?iam=dpile&terms=+fonts++for++Adobe++Acrobat


Good luck.. i'll be back later.. right now i have to go get my daughter from school

 

[OUTSIDER]

Thank you FG I went through twenty online font library's and found bugger all, this NewJohnstonMedium is rarer than rocking horse shit.

The two links you put up are great but their in tech speak and I'm just not wired that way so I'll just have to get them to snail mail it to me and hope it get's there in time.