Admire

[Nightbird]

This week at work they had a Secret Santa. You know, where you receive gifts and a little note attached hinting at who the gift giver is.

Some of them were very creative and quite fun and it got me thinking. Secret Santa's are kind of like Secret Admirer's.

So I'm wondering, have you ever had a Secret Admirer? Have you ever Secretly Admired somone?

I had a Secret Admirer once, she originally PM'd me here on Lit and then it evolved into emailings. She, hid behind a user name and I enjoyed emailing with her but never did find out who she was. It was a lot of fun, and kind of exciting all at the sametime. I kind of miss it, I miss having that odd but unique social interaction.

So, anyone else experience anything like this?

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Secret Admirers...

I can say I have never sent someone anything in secret, probably because I'm a very shy person in real life. I have liked people yes and kept my thoughts or feelings to myself, or shared with a friend, but I wouldn't consider me being their secret admirer.

I think a secret admirer has to do something to let you know that someone out there likes them. I've not been lavished with romantic emails or PM's... Yes... I know I have "THAT THREAD!" but a secret admirer would know about "THAT THREAD" and wouldn't do things to draw away my interest from them with nasty PM's either.

Would I want to know them? I think I would... I would want to converse with them, see if we had things in common, and who knows, maybe we'd be friends and maybe not. Perhaps they would learn what the real Red is like and find they don't like her, thus ruining their fantasy...

 

[Nightbird]

See thats the advantage to being a Secret Admirer though.. Especially with today's technology..

You can create an email account / Yahoo Account / Lit Account use a user name that can't be linked to you and converse with the person you admire.

Secret Admirers...

I can say I have never sent someone anything in secret, probably because I'm a very shy person in real life. I have liked people yes and kept my thoughts or feelings to myself, or shared with a friend, but I wouldn't consider me being their secret admirer.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

See thats the advantage to being a Secret Admirer though.. Especially with today's technology..

You can create an email account / Yahoo Account / Lit Account use a user name that can't be linked to you and converse with the person you admire.

See... then it borders on telling a lie?? Doesn't it, because your not truly you anymore, you've created a fantasy.

 

[Nightbird]

No, you can still be yourself. Just not reveal your identity.. But you can still allow your personality to come through.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

No, you can still be yourself. Just not reveal your identity.. But you can still allow your personality to come through.

Hmmm... I have 2 alts I use on the SRP's and I use them only over on those threads, but... I know those alts hold a part of my personality in me, but they also have their own too. A new name is a shield, sometimes people can't seperate the shields from the true self. I think to admire someone from afar is great, but to admire them up close is better. Why not get to know them as you in the first place? If you're going to go to the trouble of making something up... why not be honest in the beginning and just say...

"You know... I've liked you for a while now and I'm to shy to tell you, but I wanted you to know. I admire you and if you'd like... maybe we could talk sometime or just write each other.... "


See... no harm in something straight and direct and no lies were spoken.

 

[Nightbird]

Right.. But you posted that as RH&F... Not using your real name.. (Don't do it here in public)

When I Private message here I use my handle Nightbird, but I don't hide behind it..It is me, the same person I am in real life.

Sometimes it can be scarey admitting you admire someone..Especially if your a woman.. Guys can be kind of aggressive..

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Right.. But you posted that as RH&F... Not using your real name.. (Don't do it here in public)

When I Private message here I use my handle Nightbird, but I don't hide behind it..It is me, the same person I am in real life.

Sometimes it can be scarey admitting you admire someone..Especially if your a woman.. Guys can be kind of aggressive..

I've posted as Red in PM's to people and sometimes as my nickname on the threads... someone would have to really be a lurker 24/7 to know my nickname. I go from Red, to RH&F, to my nickname to my real name on whim with friends. In a PM and on the boards I'm me... In an email... I'm me. There is no hiding behind that. I'm open about myself as open as I can be without betraying someone's trust.

Scary yes... if a person is happy with being a secret then forever be a secret, but if they want something more... then they can't suddenly pop up after months of conversation and say... "Hey... I'm not only so and so... but I'm also... this person, the one from this place..."

 

[Cathleen]

It wouldn't be secret if you used your known identity. Secret is fun - to a point.

 

[Nightbird]

I disagree.. I think it would be ok to use a user name to get to know someone first and be safe about it.

And then if after getting to know the person on line your still attracted to them, then privately tell them who you are.

Or don't tell them at all and continue the secret. Like I said above it's kinda fun..

 

[mischevious eye]

It would be hard to be a secret admirer with pm because you always know who they are from.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

As long as it if fun for both parties.

 

[Nightbird]

Not if you use an Alt..

And for example if you were to PM me all I know is your Lit User handle.. Mischevious Eye.. I wouldn't know your real name or anything about you.

It would be hard to be a secret admirer with pm because you always know who they are from.

 

[Cathleen]

Not if you use an Alt..

And for example if you were to PM me all I know is your Lit User handle.. Mischevious Eye.. I wouldn't know your real name or anything about you.

I can tell you a few things about him. LOL I'm definitely getting punchy.

 

[mischevious eye]

I can tell you a few things about him. LOL I'm definitely getting punchy.

please only tell her nice things.

 

[Nightbird]

Oooops... Umm I know my Av pic is confusing, but it's my favourite Christmas Av..

I'm actually a him and not a her.

please only tell her nice things.

 

[Cathleen]

Oooops... Umm I know my Av pic is confusing, but it's my favourite Christmas Av..

I'm actually a him and not a her.

You know, I wondered about the av.

I can tell nice things, actually I only know nice things about ME. He's quite humorous and loves to tease.

 

[Nightbird]

So how about it all you lurkers..

What are your thoughts about Admirers? Or being Admired? Don't be shy, speak up.

 

[mischevious eye]

Sorry about before.

I feel like I need to post with a person for awhile before I would pm them.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

So how about it all you lurkers..

What are your thoughts about Admirers? Or being Admired? Don't be shy, speak up.

Now... lurkers... aren't they like admirers in disguise?

 

[Cathleen]

So how about it all you lurkers..

What are your thoughts about Admirers? Or being Admired? Don't be shy, speak up.

You might have to show something to draw the lurkers out... so let's see it big boy!

definitely over tired.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Over tired... lol, I'm off to bed, enjoy your night, Cat... I wanted to mention, beautiful av... very classy.

 

[Cathleen]

Over tired... lol, I'm off to bed, enjoy your night, Cat... I wanted to mention, beautiful av... very classy.

Thanks Red, sweet dreams to you.

 

[Nightbird]

Ok Cate I'll show off my banana!

Now will some of you lurkers post.. Please..?

 

[Missingmeds]

I don't know about the lurkers, but as a blabberfingers I am stopping in to say....(see sig line).