Actual financial responsibilities in a divorce.

[Tomh1966]

I keep reading stories where the husband gets stuck with alimony plus child support PLUS paying half or all of the mortgage.

My issue is paying half or all of the mortgage. Is this typical? I was under the impression the ex pays it out of her earnings + alimony + child support.

Anyone have actual real-life information? Please state where you are generically. IE 'Texas' or 'UK'

 

[soflabbwlvr]

That question cannot be answered in a vacuum. The answer depends on a variety of circumstances too long to catalog here. Keep in mind, divorce laws vary from one jurisdiction to another. In some US jurisdictions, there is little to no alimony. Regarding paying half the mortgage, a common arrangement is the wife gets the house and husband gets to keep his pension. In that case, the husband would not usually be required to pay half the mortgage. It is her asset. Or, if he is required to pay half the mortgage, then it is classified as a form of alimony payment.
In other cases, the wife may be awarded possession of the house until the last child reaches the age of majority, after which the house is to be sold and the proceeds divided between the husband and wife. In that case, it makes perfect sense that the husband pay half the mortgage since it is an asset which grows in value with the passage of time and reduction in the mortgage.
But these are just generalized scenarios. What ultimately occurs depends on the laws of that jurisdiction and the specific factual circumstances of the parties.

 

[SimonDoom]

In most states in the US it's now based almost entirely on economic formulas that are based on things like the number and age of the children, the relative time that each child spends with each parent, and the relative income of the divorced people. But keep in mind that the two parties can enter a settlement that governs things. That's what happened in my situation.

You can find child support calculators for the state of California, for instance. So you might try that and plug in the facts and numbers and see what they yield.

 

[WCSGarland]

I will add the note that a lot of the stories are not necessarily based on reality.

IOW, what the writer is writing may just be a plot device.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I keep reading stories where the husband gets stuck with alimony plus child support PLUS paying half or all of the mortgage.

My issue is paying half or all of the mortgage. Is this typical? I was under the impression the ex pays it out of her earnings + alimony + child support.

Anyone have actual real-life information? Please state where you are generically. IE 'Texas' or 'UK'

In Texas, a divorce decree is a highly negotiated legal document bounded by state guidelines for things like alimony, child support, community property separation. It can be as simple or as complex as the parties involved want it to be. Some couples spend thousands of dollars in legal fees arguing over ashtrays that neither of them even want or need. Others make it as simple as possible just to get it over with. It all comes down to how antagonistic the couple is. In my divorce, I bent over and took one up the ass because my ex is legitimately crazy(BPD). It would have cost me more than it was worth to fight it. Funny thing is, she never paid her lawyer.

As to your specific question about the house, some divorces force the sale of the house with the two parties splitting the proceeds. In cases where the house is awarded to one of them(My ex got the house. I filed a quit claim to the deed, surrendering all rights to the property.) Basically, it's hers now and she is responsible for all expenses pertaining to the house. It's up to her to figure out how to make the money to pay for it.

 

[Britva415]

He can't be obligated to pay the mortgage unless he's still the borrower of record, and in such a situation he probably still has his name on the property's title. How realistic is that as a divorce outcome? Not very.

What more often happens is that (assuming they don't just sell the house and split any proceeds) the home is refinanced and retitled in one person's name. Sometimes the court or the divorce agreement might specify a level of alimony payments/income which the refinance applicant can use as one of the documented funding sources for the payments on the new mortgage.

But as noted, this doesn't come out of nowhere, it isn't something unilaterally imposed by the court. Lots of negotiation by both sides is involved. Doesn't mean someone doesn't still feel screwed if the settlement after negotiation is very one-sided. This can definitely happen.

And the character might say they're paying for the ex-spouse's mortgage, even if the actual documents say otherwise. So, for the purposes of a story, we don't have to scratch at the paint too much.

 

[Lifestyle66]

When it comes to those stories of a cheating wife and an aggrieved husband being slammed unfairly in divorce court, read those things in context. It's just a story. The author is writing a caricature of the unfairness of some situations in divorce.

I have known two wives who lied in court to gain sympathy from a judge, claiming abuse from their husbands, in their attempt to get the judge to squeeze more out of him. I know of one husband who not only lied in court by having hidden assets but also enlisted the aid of a police officer friend to assist in defaming his ex-wife in court. And I wouldn't discount the possibility of a bad judge exceeding his authority in declaring a judgment, which then would be overturned on appeal.

Ultimately here in LitE burn-the-bitch world, it's just a story.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

It's really hard to say. I work for a law firm in FL. I'm not a lawyer though, and we don't generally handle divorce cases. We've done a few where it was helping out a long term client and it was a straightforward case.
With that caveat in mind, child support is based on a preset formula as a function of income.
Spousal support comes in a variety of flavors, but the rule is that absent exceptional circumstances the higher earning spouse shouldn't end up with less money than the person they are supporting.
They are also all temporary, basically designed to help the lower earning spouse until they can become self supporting. They can't not work and expect to live off spousal support forever.

I don't think there is a way to require someone to pay a mortgage. I have seen a case where the wife got custody and retained the house until the youngest child turned 18 or she got remarried at which time the house must be sold and the proceeds split. Lots of legalese about her having to maintain the house to a reasonable standard, and his share was proportional to the length of time they'd shared the house.