Active Help to die

[Laurel]

So yesterday we took Aiko (my kitty) to the vet for her rabies & FeLV booster shots. While in the waiting room, an older couple came in with what appeared to be healthy dog. The woman was crying. Listening to their conversation with the nurse & receptionist, I figured out that they'd brought the dog in to be euthanized. Apparently, that particular dog breed (whatever it was, can't remember offhand) has serious health problems as it ages. They'd "been through this" with other dogs of the same breed, and had "waited too long" to euthanize the dogs before. This time, they took the dog in as soon as it started showing symptoms.

I was aghast. Pain or no pain, discomfort or no discomfort - life is precious. When the doctor came to the waiting room, the dog tried to bolt out the door - it KNEW what was going to happen and it DIDN'T WANT TO DIE. I wanted so badly to grab the leash and take off running.

As for me, I don't care if my arms are gone, my legs are twisted bits of meat, and I'm stoned to the gills on morphine. So long as blood pumps through my body, I want to live. Period. The idea that we should end a life because of pain is ridiculous. Consciousness is precious. This life is a one shot deal. Once it's over, it's over. The end, finito. No possibility of cure, no miracles, no turning back. While you're alive, anything's possible.

I could never euthanize my kitty if she ever got ill. It's not fair to deprive her of living. Unless she found a way to articulate to me that she wanted me to kill her, I won't. Otherwise, I will take the fact that she's still alive as a sign that she's fighting. When she stops fighting, she'll die on her own. I don't think this is cruel. I don't think putting animals to death is humane. I think it's easier on the owners, but I think the animals (if they could talk) would want one more snuggle, one more game of catch, one more bowl of kibble. I'll do my best to make every day of Aiko's life as happy as possible, and I'm not going to deprive her of a second of life.

Manu and I have the same views on this, so I don't have to worry about putting him to death. He and I have both vowed to fight it out, pain or no pain, no matter what happens. If, however, things were different and he had a living will with specific instructions, I would abide by his wishes no matter how much I disagreed.

 

[Problem Child]

The sanest poster of the night award goes to:

(the envelope please)

SIREN!

As for me, just pull the god damn plug.

 

[Problem Child]

I got my Australian sheherd from the animal shelter.

My yellow lab just puked on the floor.

What's that tell you?

 

[Cheyenne]

My parents have living wills- I will have to decide if they live or die. I have a living will- my sister gets that honor in my case. I asked a friend first, and he said no, he could never make that decision for me.

Will I be able to do it if and when the time comes and one of my parents needs me to speak for him/her? I don't honestly know. I'm with Laurel- I couldn't even take my cat to the vet to have him put down when I knew I should. He died with me at home.

 

[Laurel]

Re: I got my Australian sheherd from the animal shelter.

My yellow lab just puked on the floor.

What's that tell you?

That maybe you shouldn't let him drink bourbon after 8pm?

 

[Problem Child]

Re: Re: I got my Australian sheherd from the animal shelter.

My yellow lab just puked on the floor.

What's that tell you?

That maybe you shouldn't let him drink bourbon after 8pm?

it was tequila.

 

[Laurel]

Well, shit, then. No wonder. I would've probably puked on your carpet too.

 

[Comshaw]

Over the last 6 months I've had the opportunity to give this subject some long hard consideration. You see my best friend was diagnosed with advanced renal cell cancer last October. The doc's gave him about 6 to 8 months to live. He's been through an extensive series of kemo and thing do look promising, but there are still some live cells in his lungs.
Bill and I have spent several hours talking about this, death with dignity. Will I help him die when it's time? Should I?
Should I be so damned greedy and heartless that I demand he uses all means to stay alive, no matter how painful it is for him?
I cannot. We will all die. It is a fact that no one gets out alive. One day each and everyone of us will face that moment.
Over the years I've had to euthanize pets that have grown old, or were mortally injured. Yes it hurt. No I didn't want to kill any of them. But should I let a dog suffer A long agonizing death because I'm too much of a coward to end it's suffering? We once had a black cat, OD was her name. We had her for 7 or 8 years, then one day her kidneys failed. There was nothing we could do, she was dying. We could have let her die naturally, let her body be poisoned by her own waste. But I took her to the vet and held her while she was injected. I held her as she died, then took her home a buried her.
I loved that long haired, little black cat and did what was necessary to ease her dying. Can I do any less for a friend that's like family? Would I do any less for my wife, my kids, my siblings? It would eat at my insides for the rest of my life, but I would assist in any way I can. Do I consider this honorable? No, greedy. I'm hoping there will be someone there, with the same thoughts, when it's my turn. No one gets out alive. All we can do is help those who need it. Sometimes that means helping those we love to die.
Comshaw
Now

 

[genderbender]

What a Profound Topic!

I've done training as a hospice volunteer and presently volunteer through a non-profit agency that provides spiritual support to persons dying. My first client died last December. She became a dear friend during our nine months of weekly meetings.

So many of you have spoken both eloquently and poignantly about being with loved ones dying. Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm presently providing support to my former wife who suffers from a serious bone infection which may take her life. I'm humbled by this whole journey we're taking, which surely ends in our death. Not one person on this board, nor any of their friends will be alive in 100 years.

A quote from the Buddha speaks to me and I'd like to share it with all of you.

"The universe and its inhabitants
are as ephemeral as the clouds
in the sky;
Being born and dying are
like a spectacular dance or
drama show.
The duration of our lives is like
a flash of lightning or a firefly's
brief twinkle;
Everything passes like the flowing waters of a steep waterfall."

Buddhists suggest that understanding this truth will provide encouragement for living our lives fully. I'm still learning how to do that. Gratitude for the life we've been given and kindness toward those with whom we share these precious years seem to be the only correct responses.

 

[LAVA GODDESSS]

wow.

I personally was there as my Oma (grandma) had the 'plug pulled'. That was hard. So very hard. But that is her wish. I have kept an open mind through all of these emotional threads.

I read Laurel's, and well....her reasoning makes sense. I previously agreed that life should be terminated if willing, and in a vegatative state.

Now, when it comes to my kitty...my doggy......my mother or father (not in that order)

I won't. Let em keep kicken. Thank you Laurel for that post.

 

[wolfy]

Freedom.

Personally I think that the ultimate loss of freedom is when you no longer can choose to die. Life is precious and should be enjoyed to it's fullest. But life can also be hell. People are very good at making life hell for others.
If a person is in constant torture, can't sleep without drugs, can't think straight and is still in pain all the time and suffering....that person in my opinion should have the right to die. It of course would be their choice, but we should make that choice as easy as we can for them.

I think any sentient race should have some built in mental ability to end thier life at any time. I realize since most people are depressed at one time or another, that this might drastically reduce our population, but I'm not sure if thats really a bad thing.

If I was seriously ill and all I was able to do was pretty much lay there and suffer i'd want to die. I would fight really hard to get better if it was possible, mainly because I love my wife and wouldn't want to leave her. If I didn't have Siren I would give up alot easier thats for sure.

I wish we didn't have all the choices we do now and all the ways to keep people alive. The responsibility of keeping loved ones alive through extreme methods should never fall on anyone.

I strongly believe that every person has the right to do what they wish with themselves as long as it dosn't harm anyone else. Even tho it may harm those that love you, If your life is a living hell, you should not be forced to suffer any longer then neccesary.

This of course is only my opinion and i'd never force anyone to make a choice for another. While it is your right to die...I believe it's also your right not to have to order anyones death.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

I have a plan as usual.......

I have the Sparky Kronkite (it's not for everybody) "No Drool Rule."

That is, I have a plan - barring "total tradgedy" - that tradgedy being that I might loose my mind, my ability of reason........

Barring that.

If I ever - no matter what age I might be - become unable to feed myself, go to the bathroom by myself or drink a glass of water - without spilling it all over my chest (hence the No Drool Rule) - totally unassisted - I will take myself out.

Sparky snuff. I will do it in a way that will appear natural.

I will not mentally, physically or financially - burden my family and loved ones.

I will not.

Uber Spark has spoken.

 

[wolfy]

No drool rule? Is that legal?

Wouldn't that devestate the trailor parks all across america? Or was that your plan Sparky?

 

[His Whimsicality]

When your body but moreso your mind is completey messed up so that you´re completely useless and can´t do anything and you´re going to push the daisies anyway in the next 3 month, then I´d rather die now, also because I strongly believe that we continue after this life.

Hell, if I knew that I´d go mad because of Kreutzfeld-Jakob disease or something, then, after all the necessary things have been made and said, I´d even do myself in while I´m still sane, that way it´s quicker and less painful for my relatives etc. as I´m much for the dignified way of dying.

 

[genderbender]

How about some real writing on the subject of dying!

Coming to the woods’ edge
on my Sunday morning walk,
I stand resting a moment beside
a ragged half-dead wild plum
in bloom, its perfume
a moment enclosing me,
and standing side by side
with the old broken blooming tree,
I almost understand,
I almost recognize as a friend
the great impertinence of beauty
that comes even to the dying,
even to the fallen, without reason
sweetening the air.

I walk on,
distracted by a letter accusing me
of distraction, which distracts me
only from the hundred things
that would otherwise distract me
from this whiteness, lightness,
sweetness in the air. The mind
is broken by the thousand
calling voices it is too late
to answer, and that is why it yearns
for some hard task, lifelong, longer
than life, to concentrate it
and make it whole.

But where is the all-welcoming
all-consecrating Sabbath
that would do the same? Where
the quietness of the heart
and the eye’s clarity
that would be a friend’s reply
to the white-blossoming plum tree?

Wendell Berry
The Sabbath Poems
1987 - I