Abs is PMSing...

[ABSTRUSE]

Here it is guys, from a hormonal bitches' point of view.

My mood? In one moment I'm sweet as can be but in the blink of an eye I'll chew off your head like a praying mantis during mating season.

I'm bloated and my tits hurt and not in a good way, imagine taping waterballoons to your hairy chest.

I can go to an all you can eat buffet and pull up a chair, snapping and growling at anyone who got too close.

I pray daily to the Goddess of Menopause to send me some hot flashes and get this over with.

It's not a blessed woman fertile loving giving rebirthing new age earth mother fucking wonderful thing....it's a godamn once a month ride down the red rapids trip to hell accompanied by a chocolate coated salt lick and a Cosmo reading week of heating pads and Midol while a pillow is stuffed between your legs.

Wanna know what cramps are like? I'll tell ya, cause I'm on a roll......Imagine doing 400 situps and then having the biggest guy in the gym punch you in the stomach for 20 minutes....then imagine how it feels the next day....that's kinda what cramps are like.

So since it's best I stay clear of the threads here goes:

My mood: need I say?
Do I delete shit?: Who cares?
what am I listening to?: the voices telling me to strangle the shit out of anyone that asks....are you on the rag?
The Welfare state: I'm a white trash food stamp mother.
Person in History I'm most like?" Lizzie Borden.
Can I kill a Character?: was Aileen Wornos (sp) a nun?
Can a top be topped?: Yes and a bottom can be bottomed.
Someone boosted your stories?: Hunt them down and hurt them

See me in a week for flirting, plugging, reading, cajoling or being human. I'm binging and purging till then. Lives may be lost.


this thread is now open for anyone else in need of a hormonally imbalanced rant and bitch. For those who take offense, get over it...I'm not aiming anything at anyone directly, this is a general bitch so if your overly sensitive...put me on your ignore list...or join the rave.
I must go and sacrifice a human now...or kick something hard.

 

[cloudy]

Join me for some hormonal shit-kicking. He gets home around 5:00, can you be here by then?

Let's say it all together, "oh, shut the fuck up."

oh....

I you.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Join me for some hormonal shit-kicking. He gets home around 5:00, can you be here by then?

Let's say it all together, "oh, shut the fuck up."

oh....

I you.

Oh shut the fuck up.

 

[zeb1094]

Here it is guys, from a hormonal bitches' point of view.

My mood? In one moment I'm sweet as can be but in the blink of an eye I'll chew off your head like a praying mantis during mating season.

I'm bloated and my tits hurt and not in a good way, imagine taping waterballoons to your hairy chest.

I can go to an all you can eat buffet and pull up a chair, snapping and growling at anyone who got too close.

I pray daily to the Goddess of Menopause to send me some hot flashes and get this over with.

It's not a blessed woman fertile loving giving rebirthing new age earth mother fucking wonderful thing....it's a godamn once a month ride down the red rapids trip to hell accompanied by a chocolate coated salt lick and a Cosmo reading week of heating pads and Midol while a pillow is stuffed between your legs.

Wanna know what cramps are like? I'll tell ya, cause I'm on a roll......Imagine doing 400 situps and then having the biggest guy in the gym punch you in the stomach for 20 minutes....then imagine how it feels the next day....that's kinda what cramps are like.

So since it's best I stay clear of the threads here goes:

My mood: need I say?
Do I delete shit?: Who cares?
what am I listening to?: the voices telling me to strangle the shit out of anyone that asks....are you on the rag?
The Welfare state: I'm a white trash food stamp mother.
Person in History I'm most like?" Lizzie Borden.
Can I kill a Character?: was Aileen Wornos (sp) a nun?
Can a top be topped?: Yes and a bottom can be bottomed.
Someone boosted your stories?: Hunt them down and hurt them

See me in a week for flirting, plugging, reading, cajoling or being human. I'm binging and purging till then. Lives may be lost.


this thread is now open for anyone else in need of a hormonally imbalanced rant and bitch. For those who take offense, get over it...I'm not aiming anything at anyone directly, this is a general bitch so if your overly sensitive...put me on your ignore list...or join the rave.
I must go and sacrifice a human now...or kick something hard.

Always available for kicking my dear! *hugs -gentle hugs*

Or...

Get over it and you definitly don't want hot flashes! Those are an everyday occurance in my house and it ain't fun! Hot and sweaty, not in a good way, one minute, cold as ice the next!

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Let me get refills for your ammo and duck behind this wall.

 

[English Lady]

If it'll help -you can kick me.

I you abs, even when you're a bitch.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Always available for kicking my dear! *hugs -gentle hugs*

Or...

Get over it and you definitly don't want hot flashes! Those are an everyday occurance in my house and it ain't fun! Hot and sweaty, not in a good way, one minute, cold as ice the next!

sounds like you need new appliances.

 

[zeb1094]

sounds like you need new appliances.

Tell me about it. She's been on and off hot flashes since 1985! when she had her histirectomy. What a painful life I lead! Spending a week with you while your PMS'ing would be pure pleasure.

 

[TheEarl]

<offers chocolate with outstretched arm>

I can get you a punching bag if that'll help?

The Earl

 

[English Lady]

<offers chocolate with outstretched arm>

I can get you a punching bag if that'll help?

The Earl

Awww, you are just the sweetest.

I want a nibble!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Tell me about it. She's been on and off hot flashes since 1985! when she had her histirectomy. What a painful life I lead! Spending a week with you while your PMS'ing would be pure pleasure.

Oh...you don't know what pain is until you've lived with me.



and stop being nice in this thread, it's a bitch thread godamnit so start bitching people!!!!

 

[Guest]

Here it is guys, from a hormonal bitches' point of view.

ABS, even at your touchy titty, life hating, fuzzy bunny kicking worst, you are a woman I admire!

I've always imagined that cramps were someone trying to pull my uterus through my hipbones via my knees using a tow truck and 300 test nylon line tied off on my spine. If I ever find the summabitch, he's gonna have to learn to like puree of everything.

I'm blessed, though, My PMS lasts about 20 minutes to 2 hours. Of course, I once put my fists through my laptop during that 20 minutes to 2 hours...that was expensive. Another time, just pre-Christmas, I tried to put my head through a wall. We still have the dent. Haven't killed anyone yet, though. At least, the bodies weren't there when I went back.

And, just to underline I fully understand the injustice of it all and have great sympathy, in 2003, I was on my period from July 2nd through mid February 2004. Then I did it again the following July because life hates me.

Anyone who asks me "are you on the rag" will discover how much damage can be done with a set of car keys and a bottle of Purell.

 

[zeb1094]

Oh...you don't know what pain is until you've lived with me.



and stop being nice in this thread, it's a bitch thread godamnit so start bitching people!!!!

I am bitching, bitch! I'm bitching about my life! So get over it!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I am bitching, bitch! I'm bitching about my life! So get over it!

Little bitch.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

ABS, even at your touchy titty, life hating, fuzzy bunny kicking worst, you are a woman I admire!

I've always imagined that cramps were someone trying to pull my uterus through my hipbones via my knees using a tow truck and 300 test nylon line tied off on my spine. If I ever find the summabitch, he's gonna have to learn to like puree of everything.

I'm blessed, though, My PMS lasts about 20 minutes to 2 hours. Of course, I once put my fists through my laptop during that 20 minutes to 2 hours...that was expensive. Another time, just pre-Christmas, I tried to put my head through a wall. We still have the dent. Haven't killed anyone yet, though. At least, the bodies weren't there when I went back.

And, just to underline I fully understand the injustice of it all and have great sympathy, in 2003, I was on my period from July 2nd through mid February 2004. Then I did it again the following July because life hates me.

Anyone who asks me "are you on the rag" will discover how much damage can be done with a set of car keys and a bottle of Purell.

Rage on!!! SISTAH!!!

 

[3113]

Always available for kicking my dear! *hugs -gentle hugs*

Hug low--but only if touch is welcomed. Sit in a chair, place hands at the lower back, gentle hug. Honestly. In some women that alleviates cramps. And if you can alleviate them...you get to live.

If no touching is allowed, then I recommend that you open the door quick and throw in chocolate. That should sate the bloodlust for a while.

Leaving Advil and hot, honeyed camomille tea at the door, Abs. Try not to scratch off all the wallpaper as you climb the walls.

 

[cloudy]

If no touching is allowed, then I recommend that you open the door quick and throw in chocolate. That should sate the bloodlust for a while.

That works for me. I'm at that "touch me and die" stage right now.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Hug low--but only if touch is welcomed. Sit in a chair, place hands at the lower back, gentle hug. Honestly. In some women that alleviates cramps. And if you can alleviate them...you get to live.

If no touching is allowed, then I recommend that you open the door quick and throw in chocolate. That should sate the bloodlust for a while.

Leaving Advil and hot, honeyed camomille tea at the door, Abs. Try not to scratch off all the wallpaper as you climb the walls.

that's so sweet and understanding,,, now I might cry cause hormones are hellish and make you into a multipersonalitied monster.....snifff......I smell cake.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

That works for me. I'm at that "touch me and die" stage right now.

Don't touch meh!!!!

 

[zeb1094]

Whipping up a double fudge triple deck chocolate cake as we speak! With dark fudge chocolate icing!

 

[cloudy]

Don't touch meh!!!!

bitch.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Whipping up a double fudge triple deck chocolate cake as we speak! With dark fudge chocolate icing!

don't sneak any of that @%$^&*# Splenda in there!!!

 

[3113]

that's so sweet and understanding,,, now I might cry cause hormones are hellish and make you into a multipersonalitied monster.....snifff......I smell cake.

Yeah. It's tough when some flowery, 30 second Hallmark card commercial can break you down into tears. (Hands Abs a box of Kleenex).

 

[zeb1094]

don't sneak any of that @%$^&*# Splenda in there!!!

Pure sugar and real fat, only the best for you bitch!

 

[cloudy]

don't sneak any of that @%$^&*# Splenda in there!!!

I still want that fucking Cadbury egg, damn it.

I'm broke, so no eggs.