About my friends...

[Xenobia]

When I met them they were two girls, but one of them is having the sex change operation. He's (I'll call him Sam) living as a guy now, and his theipist said to have everyone refer to him as "him" and his male name and stuff, which is totally no problem for me.

His mother is very upset. She has a gay son, and then my friend, and she's upset about the operation and refuses to refer to him in any way and mostly blames Sam's fiancee for everything from money problems to the sex change.

This summer the whole family is moving to Idaho this year and I think that maybe Sam and "Sally" shouldn't go with them. They aren't supportive to Sam's desision and undermine his choice and his and Sally's relationship.

I don't know how to best state my opinion, or even if I should.

Also, I'd like to say that I'm kinda jealous of Sam and Sally, since Sally loves Sam no matter what sex he is, since its the person inside she cares about.

Anyway, advice?

 

[Raimondin]

When I met them they were two girls, but one of them is having the sex change operation. He's (I'll call him Sam) living as a guy now, and his theipist said to have everyone refer to him as "him" and his male name and stuff, which is totally no problem for me.

His mother is very upset. She has a gay son, and then my friend, and she's upset about the operation and refuses to refer to him in any way and mostly blames Sam's fiancee for everything from money problems to the sex change.

This summer the whole family is moving to Idaho this year and I think that maybe Sam and "Sally" shouldn't go with them. They aren't supportive to Sam's desision and undermine his choice and his and Sally's relationship.

I don't know how to best state my opinion, or even if I should.

Also, I'd like to say that I'm kinda jealous of Sam and Sally, since Sally loves Sam no matter what sex he is, since its the person inside she cares about.

Anyway, advice?

I think in this case friendship matters more than family. They need your 100 % support! Unconditionally, since (as you stated) the family is not going to be supportive. They are your friends, and this takes lots of courage to go through with this. Not an easy transition for anyone to make. I think if you try to turn the jealous thing into 'well wishing them the best' you'll feel a whole lot better about yourself. Anyway, opinions are always best left or kept to oneself. "Love, friendship, hath no wall, borders, bounderies..." Best of luck to you, and them.

 

[Xenobia]

Thanks,

I'm not jealous in a bad way, more in a "No one will ever love me like that" way. I of course always wish them the very best, which is why I've got concerns about the move.

They'll be moving WITH people who don't support them to a place that isn't very pro active AWAY from friends who do support them.

I think I will talk to them about it.

 

[Raimondin]

Thanks,

I'm not jealous in a bad way, more in a "No one will ever love me like that" way. I of course always wish them the very best, which is why I've got concerns about the move.

They'll be moving WITH people who don't support them to a place that isn't very pro active AWAY from friends who do support them.

I think I will talk to them about it.

Yeah, I know you didn't mean jealous in a bad way. Don't we ALL wish we could find Love like that! Yes, then maybe it would be good for you to talk to them about it. They are very lucky to have you as a friend.

 

[cygx1]

Hi everyone. I am not a big poster (this is my first to the GLBT forum) but thought that I would toss my $0.02 in on this issue.

I think you should definitly express to your friends your feelings about the trip, but only make your opinion known once. I had a similar situation dealing with a friend I care about once and after much thinking and soul searching I decided that would be the best path to take. He didn't follow my advice and I am not sure what his long term happiness will be as a result, but he at least knew I cared and I felt I had at least tried in my own limited way to help without feeling like I was slamming him with my opinion and risking adding a void between us.

I also think you should definitly make it known to the couple how wonderful you think they are together and how you hope to find that for yourself some day. It may help reaffirm your advice and help them see how special and wonderful their relationship is. It would also get that feeling you have out in the open.

Finally, I am sure you will find someone who loves you unconditionally some day. You obviously care about your friends. People like you deserve to find their perfect mate in this world.

Again, just my $0.02...