Abortion on demand huh?

[LadyVer]

Yeah, I'd say that there were. But the bible has a lot of half-assed stuff like that. Like the whole, having animals fuck while looking at striped sticks to get them to have stripes. Or that some water fowl have 4 feet. There's quite a bit that I wouldn't try at home.

I don't recall the animals and stripes thing, but the Bible covers a lot of territory.

 

[CandiCame]

I don't recall the animals and stripes thing, but the Bible covers a lot of territory.

That one guy, who's name I can't remember, who fooled his old blind dad into thinking he was his hairy apeish brother and then had to run like hell to his uncle's place before his dad kicked his ass, and his cousins lived there with their dad and one of them was super hot and he was like, "Hey, wanna get married, even though we're really closely related"

And she was like, "Yeah, let me ask my dad"

And her dad was all, "I don't know, he seems kinda like a lazy shit. Tell you what- make him work his ass off for 7 years then you can marry him."

And he did, but they tricked him into marrying her sister and then made him work for another 7 years, and then he got to marry his hot cousin, and he was like, "this is kinda bullshit. You worked me for 14 years, tricked me into marrying a chick I didn't want to marry, give me some goats and sheep and shit."

And the uncle/father-in-law (because that's how biblical people roll) told him he could have the striped animals so they could tell whose was whose. But then he gave all his striped animals to his own son, so the nephew-son-in-law was all, "OH THAT IS BULLSHIT" so he made the non-striped animals that were left look at striped sticks while they were fucking to get them to be striped. And that totally worked. Because the bible doesn't give 2 shits about animal husbandry.

Which is not the weirdest thing in that story. By a long shot.

This has been: Bible Stories with Candi; an agnostic raised in the Bible Belt

Edit: That dude's name was Jake. I just assumed it would be more Jewish than that.

 

[CandiCame]

I googled that description rather than looking it up because it's 4:30 am and if I slept I'd be in bed, and I'm just too lazy to go through the bible, and apparently that story is Genesis, like the sega, book 30, verses 25-43

Specifically:

(v. 37) Jacob, however, took fresh-cut branches from poplar, almond and plane trees and made white stripes on them by peeling the bark and exposing the white inner wood of the branches.

(v. 38) Then he placed the peeled branches in all the watering troughs, so that they would be directly in front of the flocks when they came to drink. When the flocks were in heat and came to drink,

(v. 39) they mated in front of the branches. And they bore young that were streaked or speckled or spotted.

(v. 40) Jacob set apart the young of the flock by themselves, but made the rest face the streaked and dark-colored animals that belonged to Laban. Thus he made separate flocks for himself and did not put them with Laban's animals.

(v. 41) Whenever the stronger females were in heat, Jacob would place the branches in the troughs in front of the animals so they would mate near the branches,

(v. 42) but if the animals were weak, he would not place them there. So the weak animals went to Laban and the strong ones to Jacob.




And I really think, were you to try that at home, it'd work as well as the church filth water abortion.

 

[LadyVer]

That one guy, who's name I can't remember, who fooled his old blind dad into thinking he was his hairy apeish brother and then had to run like hell to his uncle's place before his dad kicked his ass, and his cousins lived there with their dad and one of them was super hot and he was like, "Hey, wanna get married, even though we're really closely related"

And she was like, "Yeah, let me ask my dad"

And her dad was all, "I don't know, he seems kinda like a lazy shit. Tell you what- make him work his ass off for 7 years then you can marry him."

And he did, but they tricked him into marrying her sister and then made him work for another 7 years, and then he got to marry his hot cousin, and he was like, "this is kinda bullshit. You worked me for 14 years, tricked me into marrying a chick I didn't want to marry, give me some goats and sheep and shit."

And the uncle/father-in-law (because that's how biblical people roll) told him he could have the striped animals so they could tell whose was whose. But then he gave all his striped animals to his own son, so the nephew-son-in-law was all, "OH THAT IS BULLSHIT" so he made the non-striped animals that were left look at striped sticks while they were fucking to get them to be striped. And that totally worked. Because the bible doesn't give 2 shits about animal husbandry.

Which is not the weirdest thing in that story. By a long shot.

This has been: Bible Stories with Candi; an agnostic raised in the Bible Belt

Good summary of the story. I just read a few remarks about creationism over on Amazon. I saw a link on Lit's story site on erotica news and clicked on it. Apparently dinosaur porn stories by two Texas women are doing well there. Their stories are about 15 pages long and sell for $2.99. Anyway, the reviews, or comments, about the books are hilarious.

 

[CandiCame]

Good summary of the story. I just read a few remarks about creationism over on Amazon. I saw a link on Lit's story site on erotica news and clicked on it. Apparently dinosaur porn stories by two Texas women are doing well there. Their stories are about 15 pages long and sell for $2.99. Anyway, the reviews, or comments, about the books are hilarious.

We have a creation museum not 20 minutes away from a major geological survey where an assload of fossils were found.

...one of the many reasons I don't wanna raise a kid in rural ky.