Abnormal people: When did you first realise you were....

[NoJo]

...gay/straight/bi/submissive/dominant/kinky/bestial/necrophilic?

I posted a thread here, decades ago, called Comix & Me, about my continuous love of comic books since I was a little kid, which has continued right up to now, sixty years later.

I've just found on my hard drive some of the images I posted to that thread (the image links are long dead). One of them, which I first saw in one of my brothers Mad comic (not Mad magazine, this was the earlier, racier Mad): I must have been eight years old when I saw it, but from that moment, I realised 1) I liked girls, and 2) I was a submissive.

So when did you first realize you weren't normal?

Oh, here's the image, drawn by the late great Wally Wood:

 

[Djmac1031]

I think the better question is: when did you realize your kinks or sexual proclivities were NORMAL?

I was raised in a strict religion; I was taught all my sexual thoughts and desires were a "sin" unless I was married.

Even masturbation was sinful. Looking at a woman with lust? SIN.

It wasn't until I broke free of religious mind control that I finally understood my desires didn't make me a deviant bound for Hell.

It just made me HUMAN.

 

[KeithD]

1970, at the Dumfries rest stop on I-95 south of Washington, D.C. The kicker was that I was on my way to interview for a security-clearance job in the intell community. They didn't ask the right questions, I got the job, and I was able to keep it at bay until Bangkok happened seven years later.

 

[NoJo]

I think the better question is: when did you realize your kinks or sexual proclivities were NORMAL?

I was raised in a strict religion; I was taught all my sexual thoughts and desires were a "sin" unless I was married.

Even masturbation was sinful. Looking at a woman with lust? SIN.

It wasn't until I broke free of religious mind control that I finally understood my desires didn't make me a deviant bound for Hell.

It just made me HUMAN.

Not really what I was asking, we all come to terms with "it" eventually, but when were you first aware of your personal "it"?

 

[NoJo]

1970, at the Dumfries rest stop on I-95 south of Washington, D.C. The kicker was that I was on my way to interview for a security-clearance job in the intell community. They didn't ask the right questions, I got the job, and I was able to keep it at bay until Bangkok happened seven years later.

So you only discovered it as an adult? My gay son knew from, like 5. Or rather he knew, but he didn't know he knew. The rest of his family did. My stepdaughter, on the other hand, was well into her 30s before "realising" she was lesbian.

I think people really do know what their sexual preferences are, very young. But accepting it is of course something that might (tragically) never come at all.

 

[nice90sguy]

I don't think that finding out that your fetish is normal is that hard these days.

My earliest memory of getting turned on by something (which is kind of what I think the O.P. is asking), is looking at naked store mannequins, and feeling funny "down there". I'm pretty sure that I that I was in a pram at the time. The store was right by the house I lived in.

 

[Djmac1031]

Not really what I was asking, we all come to terms with "it" eventually, but when were you first aware of your personal "it"?

No offense meant, I fully realize you were being tongue in cheek with the whole "abnormal " thing.

Believe me, being brought up religious didn't stop me from being a "perv."

It just took well into my adult years to stop feeling guilty about it lol.

 

[lovecraft68]

I think this thread is going to walk a fine line considering many people discovered their kinks for the first time at a very young age.

I distinctly recall having a dream about a girl I went to school with. I had her tied to the cafeteria table, and she was completely dressed except for her feet being bare and I was kissing and touching her feet while she begged me to stop.

Age? You don't want to know

 

[lovecraft68]

...gay/straight/bi/submissive/dominant/kinky/bestial/necrophilic?

I posted a thread here, decades ago, called Comix & Me, about my continuous love of comic books since I was a little kid, which has continued right up to now, sixty years later.

I've just found on my hard drive some of the images I posted to that thread (the image links are long dead). One of them, which I first saw in one of my brothers Mad comic (not Mad magazine, this was the earlier, racier Mad): I must have been eight years old when I saw it, but from that moment, I realised 1) I liked girls, and 2) I was a submissive.

So when did you first realize you weren't normal?

Oh, here's the image, drawn by the late great Wally Wood:

View attachment 2205722

Mad was only in comic form for a handful of issues. It became a magazine because of the comics code and Gaines way around the comics code was to produce black and white magazines. Mad was published by EC famous for Tales of the Crypt and other horror comics which the code banned. Those tales would also come back in B&W mags like Creepy and Eerie etc...

 

[SimonDoom]

My orientation and identity have remained constant since I was very young, but as something of a late bloomer I didn't act on things for a while. I've recognized myself as having a keen interest in naked women since I was young, but I never really thought of it as a "kink," so to speak. I thought it was normal to want to get my hands on a Playboy magazine when I could, or read the dirty parts of bestselling books, or sneak glances at pretty girls that might be showing off more than they meant to.

I had a sneaky interest in porn and erotica for a long time because my ex's attitudes did not permit me to express my interest openly. I didn't really start reading erotica until I was well into my 30s.

It was until my late 40s, post-divorce, that I really started figuring out what interested me. I recall taking the bdsm test and thinking, Well, that's interesting.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I can remember being only 4-5 years old and somehow being fixated on ladies' feet. I remember feeling funny when I would see a pair of pretty lady feet and I remember fantasizing about touching them, kissing them... even though I had absolutely no idea why I wanted that. It took quite some time to realize my fetish and to realize I liked when women were sexually dominant. Even today it seems so strange to me, as otherwise I am assertive in a non-aggressive kind of way and I have a mind of my own about everything, even when I am up against many.

 

[lovecraft68]

I can remember being only 4-5 years old and somehow being fixated on ladies' feet. I remember feeling funny when I would see a pair of pretty lady feet and I remember fantasizing about touching them, kissing them... even though I had absolutely no idea why I wanted that. It took quite some time to realize my fetish and to realize I liked when women were sexually dominant. Even today it seems so strange to me, as otherwise I am assertive in a non-aggressive kind of way and I have a mind of my own about everything, even when I am up against many.

See my post....and I'll ask you. Do you have any idea where that could have come from? For me it was a mix of feet with bondage and about the same age(I was in kindergarden) so where does that come from?

I once asked a therapist that when I was going in my twenties and they tried to blame the fact I grew up in traumatic environment, but feet?

FWIW nothing has changed. If my wife decides to put her feet, bare or in stockings up on the coffee table its pretty much foreplay.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

See my post....and I'll ask you. Do you have any idea where that could have come from? For me it was a mix of feet with bondage and about the same age(I was in kindergarden) so where does that come from?

I once asked a therapist that when I was going in my twenties and they tried to blame the fact I grew up in traumatic environment, but feet?

FWIW nothing has changed. If my wife decides to put her feet, bare or in stockings up on the coffee table its pretty much foreplay.

Hell if I know... I had a very vanilla childhood, with nothing that would make those kind of thoughts appear. I had very vanilla and non-domineering women around me and the society I grew up and my family were relatively patriarchal, albeit in a decent kind of way, as my mother had her say as well. So I suppose it had to be in me from the very start? Genetic foot fetish and femdom?

 

[AwkwardlySet]

See my post....and I'll ask you. Do you have any idea where that could have come from? For me it was a mix of feet with bondage and about the same age(I was in kindergarden) so where does that come from?

I once asked a therapist that when I was going in my twenties and they tried to blame the fact I grew up in traumatic environment, but feet?

FWIW nothing has changed. If my wife decides to put her feet, bare or in stockings up on the coffee table its pretty much foreplay.

Well, bondage is a lot more about control than other things, but if you exhibited such thoughts from kindergarten age, it can hardly be about environment, unless you grew up in a bondage parlor

Jokes aside, I really do believe those desires are inherited mostly, with upbringing and childhood experiences doing its part as well, unless we are speaking about real traumas.

 

[lovecraft68]

Hell if I know... I had a very vanilla childhood, with nothing that would make those kind of thoughts appear. I had very vanilla and non-domineering women around me and the society I grew up and my family were relatively patriarchal, albeit in a decent kind of way, as my mother had her say as well. So I suppose it had to be in me from the very start? Genetic foot fetish and femdom?

The only correlation I can make is maybe the violence I witnessed triggered darker things as far as bondage because I was all about control in my younger fantasies and into my late teens, until I ran into an older women who made me realize I was a true switch that could be either top or bottom.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

The only correlation I can make is maybe the violence I witnessed triggered darker things as far as bondage because I was all about control in my younger fantasies and into my late teens, until I ran into an older women who made me realize I was a true switch that could be either top or bottom.

Switches were always a mystery to me, as I've never wanted to be the one sexually dominating a woman. So I can easily understand being dominant or being submissive, but wanting both? You weirdos!

 

[lovecraft68]

Switches were always a mystery to me, as I've never wanted to be the one sexually dominating a woman. So I can easily understand being dominant or being submissive, but wanting both? You weirdos!

Its the cool form of being Bi-polar.
I realized later on that the foot fetish was a sign of a submissive desire because foot worship is big in femdom

 

[KeithD]

So you only discovered it as an adult?

I was so self-absorbed that I didn't realize for some time that I was bi. I wasn't particularly interested in sex at all until I decided that one was supposed to marry when they came out of undergraduate college. My wife had to pursue me and propose. Luckily, she was far more experienced than I was. My sexual world opened up in the 70s when I was assigned to Bangkok.

 

[nice90sguy]

I was assigned to Bangkok

..which presumably you did

 

[gunhilltrain]

1970, at the Dumfries rest stop on I-95 south of Washington, D.C. The kicker was that I was on my way to interview for a security-clearance job in the intell community. They didn't ask the right questions, I got the job, and I was able to keep it at bay until Bangkok happened seven years later.

Pardon me, but what happened in Bangkok?

 

[drobert44]

1970, at the Dumfries rest stop on I-95 south of Washington, D.C. The kicker was that I was on my way to interview for a security-clearance job in the intell community. They didn't ask the right questions, I got the job, and I was able to keep it at bay until Bangkok happened seven years later.

I got my Secret Clearance in 1970, as an Army Lt.............couldnt get a Top Secret.......

 

[gunhilltrain]

I can remember being only 4-5 years old and somehow being fixated on ladies' feet. I remember feeling funny when I would see a pair of pretty lady feet and I remember fantasizing about touching them, kissing them... even though I had absolutely no idea why I wanted that. It took quite some time to realize my fetish and to realize I liked when women were sexually dominant. Even today it seems so strange to me, as otherwise I am assertive in a non-aggressive kind of way and I have a mind of my own about everything, even when I am up against many.

One of the things I've gleaned from being on Lit for a while is that nobody is truly "normal." Some people are just better at hiding it than others.

That fits in with Carl Jung's theory of The Shadow Self.

https://academyofideas.com/2015/12/carl-jung-and-the-shadow-the-hidden-power-of-our-dark-side/

They also have a video on it for those who wish to pursue it further.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

It might have been in first grade, when our classmates found out that she and I bathed and slept together when we stayed at each other's house. They said we were sinners, but we said they were the weird ones. After all, we weren't even related.

 

[drobert44]

When I began dating sissies at 70............go ahead and laff!

 

[KeithD]

Pardon me, but what happened in Bangkok?

My story portfolio makes pretty clear what was on offer in Bangkok.