It is well written and I'm sure that it will be well received here. A woman writing a story like that is a sure hit.
Now for the long version...
Oh it could have been so much better! You really set the bar high for yourself. You picked a story line and a Point of View that makes this a very personal and emotional story but you left all of those things out!
The whole idea behind the story is how it feels to have those things being done to you. It's the emotional paradox of wanting and not wanting, guilt and freedom, passion and fear, frustration and release. Tell us all of that. Or more accurately, take us through those emotions.
Your story very adequately described the mechanics of what went on. You have no trouble telling us what they did to "you" but you don't tell us how you felt when they were doing it. How did you feel when you saw three guys about to fuck you? How does feel to have a cock enter your arse for the first time? How did it feel to lick the cum from a guy's cock after it was just in your arse? Where you disgusted, pleasantly surprised, aroused, what?
You chose to write this from a very personal point of view so you have to make the reader feel as humiliated, confused, excited, violated, happy, said, etc. and your character did.
Some writers can't do that very well but I can tell that you can. You have a very good beginning here and will be very popular.
I agree with Mr_Neb. It will be received well here because it is the type of story a man can jack off to ... not too long and plenty of fucking. In short, porn. But it can be erotica if you take the time to develop your characters, and it can be better with proofreading to eliminate typos.
One tool you can use is inner voice. Set off the girl's thoughts in italics. Example: I want to cum so much. It seems to turn me on. I can't help myself. I must obey.
You use quotation sometimes, but in other cases you don't where it would be effective. Example:
She is whispering in my ear telling me what a hot little bitch I am and that she wants me.
But you could have written:
She whispers in my ear, "You are a hot little bitch. I want you."
You use the present participle extensively, but this can be monotonous. Why write I am moaning and whimpering and her fingers and mouth are driving me mad. when you could equally say: I moan and whimper. Her fingers drive me mad. This is still present tense, first person which is your POV.
Avoid passive voice, which is weak. Instead of I am pushed about. , write They push me about.
In your intro you describe your dress, but nothing else about yourself. Sasha is described only as a beautiful blonde. The men are young and powerfully built. You can aid the readers' imaginations with better imagery of the people, not just the acts.
