Rambling Rose
My Aim Is True
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2001
- Posts
- 10,901
Because I couldn't have you feeling left out, you lying narcissistic self-absorbed sack of shit.
A Valentine For You, Fuckwit
- Thread starter Rambling Rose
- Start date
Because I couldn't have you feeling left out, you lying narcissistic self-absorbed sack of shit.
glamorilla
gorilla your dreams
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2002
- Posts
- 31,322
yeah!
what she said!
what she said!
Purple Haze
Literally Stimulated
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2000
- Posts
- 19,290
By Smoove B
Love Man
Erase all doubt from your mind, for tonight, you will know love. Let me tell you how I am going to lay it down.
This afternoon, while you are on lunch break, I will have a handpicked team of florists cover your desk at work with a mixture of sensuous-smelling rose petals. They will also leave a note reading, "Girl, you are most fine. I will pick you up at 8." This will show you and your coworkers that Smoove is the man for you, as well as give you a glimpse into the personal attention I will lavish on you later that evening.
I will also instruct the delivery person to wait and clean the flowers off your desk when you are done looking at them, so that you can continue with your work day.
At precisely 8 o'clock, I will arrive in a pearl-white car to pick you up and transport us to dinner at the city's finest European restaurant. I will tell the driver to take the most romantic, scenic route possible to the restaurant. On the way, I will have a sterling-silver thermos filled with hot chocolate from the Swiss chocolate region. If it is too hot for you, I will blow on it until it is the correct temperature.
When you have finished the cocoa, I will take the empty cup away from you and pack up the thermos. I will then nuzzle your neck and whisper complimentary remarks into your ear, including, "You are more beautiful than a thousand lakes," "You are extremely special to me," and "Your bone structure belongs in a museum." This will make you wet.
Damn, girl. I want to get freaky with you right now on my desk. I want to ride you like a bronco.
When we arrive at the expensive European restaurant, the owner will greet me warmly and comment positively on your attire. He will then personally lead us to a private table I have specially selected for our evening together. As we browse the menu, I will inform you that if multiple appetizers are your wish, I can make that wish come true.
When the appetizers arrive, I will feed them to you with my hands, which I will have hand-washed with special anti-bacterial soap to ensure their cleanliness. You will then eat an entree of your choice and a dessert. While we eat these various foods, we will discuss your fineness and also your hopes and dreams for the future. This will make you feel closer to me and, as a result, make you want to sex me wild.
After the meal, we will forgo transportation and walk the five blocks back to my apartment, because the night will be so fragrant and beautiful. I will hold your hand and stroke your wrist lightly with my thumb. As we approach my apartment, I will pull you close, and it will feel right. It will feel like we are two interlocking pieces of a sexy panther jigsaw puzzle.
If the moon is full, I will point it out to you.
When we reach my penthouse, I will remove your shoes and kiss you passionately for five to ten minutes. Just when you think you are going crazy with desire, I will lead you to my large, circular bathtub. There, I will strip you down and place your naked body gently into the perfectly warm water. Then, I will wash you with a towel of my choosing. Make no mistake, it will be the perfect towel for your beautiful body, fitting your every luscious contour. If the scented perfumes I have placed in your bath water are not to your liking, I will drain the tub and we will start over. But they will not be incorrect, so we will not have to. I know you, girl.
After I have dried and moisturized you, I will comb your hair. If, while combing your hair, you would like me to comb either faster or harder, please say so. While I am doing this combing, you will think you will know love, but Smoove is ready to take you to the next level.
This is when Smoove will lead you to his canopy bed. Keith Sweat will be playing on my bedroom stereo, creating the perfect mood for us to freak all night. And freak all night is what we shall do. Between freakings, we will laugh and tell stories, and I will rub your neck and back. Then we will freak again. This will go on until the break of dawn.
Damn.
When you wake up, I will make you French toast. If French toast is not what you desire, I will find another nationality of toast that suits you. I will not rest until I find this perfect nationality of toast, even if I have to swim all the way to Austria for it. After I find and make the toast, and you eat it, we will freak once more.
This is how the evening will go. This is how you will know love.
Smoove out.
Love Man
Erase all doubt from your mind, for tonight, you will know love. Let me tell you how I am going to lay it down.
This afternoon, while you are on lunch break, I will have a handpicked team of florists cover your desk at work with a mixture of sensuous-smelling rose petals. They will also leave a note reading, "Girl, you are most fine. I will pick you up at 8." This will show you and your coworkers that Smoove is the man for you, as well as give you a glimpse into the personal attention I will lavish on you later that evening.
I will also instruct the delivery person to wait and clean the flowers off your desk when you are done looking at them, so that you can continue with your work day.
At precisely 8 o'clock, I will arrive in a pearl-white car to pick you up and transport us to dinner at the city's finest European restaurant. I will tell the driver to take the most romantic, scenic route possible to the restaurant. On the way, I will have a sterling-silver thermos filled with hot chocolate from the Swiss chocolate region. If it is too hot for you, I will blow on it until it is the correct temperature.
When you have finished the cocoa, I will take the empty cup away from you and pack up the thermos. I will then nuzzle your neck and whisper complimentary remarks into your ear, including, "You are more beautiful than a thousand lakes," "You are extremely special to me," and "Your bone structure belongs in a museum." This will make you wet.
Damn, girl. I want to get freaky with you right now on my desk. I want to ride you like a bronco.
When we arrive at the expensive European restaurant, the owner will greet me warmly and comment positively on your attire. He will then personally lead us to a private table I have specially selected for our evening together. As we browse the menu, I will inform you that if multiple appetizers are your wish, I can make that wish come true.
When the appetizers arrive, I will feed them to you with my hands, which I will have hand-washed with special anti-bacterial soap to ensure their cleanliness. You will then eat an entree of your choice and a dessert. While we eat these various foods, we will discuss your fineness and also your hopes and dreams for the future. This will make you feel closer to me and, as a result, make you want to sex me wild.
After the meal, we will forgo transportation and walk the five blocks back to my apartment, because the night will be so fragrant and beautiful. I will hold your hand and stroke your wrist lightly with my thumb. As we approach my apartment, I will pull you close, and it will feel right. It will feel like we are two interlocking pieces of a sexy panther jigsaw puzzle.
If the moon is full, I will point it out to you.
When we reach my penthouse, I will remove your shoes and kiss you passionately for five to ten minutes. Just when you think you are going crazy with desire, I will lead you to my large, circular bathtub. There, I will strip you down and place your naked body gently into the perfectly warm water. Then, I will wash you with a towel of my choosing. Make no mistake, it will be the perfect towel for your beautiful body, fitting your every luscious contour. If the scented perfumes I have placed in your bath water are not to your liking, I will drain the tub and we will start over. But they will not be incorrect, so we will not have to. I know you, girl.
After I have dried and moisturized you, I will comb your hair. If, while combing your hair, you would like me to comb either faster or harder, please say so. While I am doing this combing, you will think you will know love, but Smoove is ready to take you to the next level.
This is when Smoove will lead you to his canopy bed. Keith Sweat will be playing on my bedroom stereo, creating the perfect mood for us to freak all night. And freak all night is what we shall do. Between freakings, we will laugh and tell stories, and I will rub your neck and back. Then we will freak again. This will go on until the break of dawn.
Damn.
When you wake up, I will make you French toast. If French toast is not what you desire, I will find another nationality of toast that suits you. I will not rest until I find this perfect nationality of toast, even if I have to swim all the way to Austria for it. After I find and make the toast, and you eat it, we will freak once more.
This is how the evening will go. This is how you will know love.
Smoove out.
glamorilla
gorilla your dreams
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2002
- Posts
- 31,322
i don't need no toast but you can butter my buns...
Rambling Rose
My Aim Is True
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2001
- Posts
- 10,901
Thanks for catching that. There's a valentine for you around here somewhere, Rhys.
Clean your box.
Clean your box.
Rambling Rose
My Aim Is True
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2001
- Posts
- 10,901
So far not one fuckwit in the bunch.
JerseyBoy
in search of...
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2001
- Posts
- 5,538
Happy V-Day Ms. Rose 
These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but LEAST romantic second line . . . .
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
but I only slept with you, because I was pissed
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling you lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but LEAST romantic second line . . . .
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
but I only slept with you, because I was pissed
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling you lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
