A Study in Insanity

[Guest]

So I wrote my calculus paper a few days ago. As usual I walked out wondering why the hell I put myself through such torture. (Is that degree really worth the slow, painfull death of my poor ill equipped brain cells - hehe)
I sat down with a few of my (equally depressed) friends. So in an amusing bid to cheer ourselfs up we all made up alist of the things we are secretly dying to do during an exam we know we have absolutely no chance of passing.
Here's the top contendors.
1. If it is a math or science exam, answer in essay form, arguing the relativiety of the question to the subject.
2. If it is long answer oressay form exam, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Draw dagga leaves.
3. Bring exotic dancers.
4. Find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs or my sexual preferences. be ridiculous.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, the agents are here. I should have taken the green pill. Damn the Matrix." and run off.
6.A few minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
7. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers, decorate it with erotic art.

8. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For maths try using Shakespearean speech.
9. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
10. Bring a permanent marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

11. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after an hour to go to McDonalds).
12. Every now and then, clap twice very loudly. If the instructor asks why, tell him or her in a very patronizing tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is clap activated"

13. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
14. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

15. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

16. Bring a water pistol with you. Need I say any more?
17. Bring cheat sheets and staple them to the exam with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
18. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
19. Answer every question with the lyrics to a song. Preferrably a vulgar or sexually suggestive one.
20. Bring a voodoo doll with very large .. erm assets. Croon to it as you write. Glare jealously at anyone who looks at you.


Made my little brain cells dance with delight as I imagined the look on my lecturers face.

 

[MagicaPractica]

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, the agents are here. I should have taken the green pill. Damn the Matrix." and run off.


8. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For maths try using Shakespearean speech.

I've never seen the movie but I like the idea of number 5 on principle.

Number 8 sounds like a really great and viable way to mess with a teacher's head on any exam essay. They couldn't complain because you used an older language. It should still be understandable to them.

 

[cloudy]

1. If it is a math or science exam, answer in essay form, arguing the relativiety of the question to the subject.

This one is my favorite, and probably one I could do really well.

(darlin', please don't post in that color and font....hurts the eyes)

 

[MagicaPractica]

It is a tad bright, isn't it? But it was funny.

So I wrote my calculus paper a few days ago. As usual I walked out wondering why the hell I put myself through such torture. (Is that degree really worth the slow, painfull death of my poor ill equipped brain cells - hehe)
I sat down with a few of my (equally depressed) friends. So in an amusing bid to cheer ourselfs up we all made up alist of the things we are secretly dying to do during an exam we know we have absolutely no chance of passing.
Here's the top contendors.
1. If it is a math or science exam, answer in essay form, arguing the relativiety of the question to the subject.
2. If it is long answer oressay form exam, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Draw dagga leaves.
3. Bring exotic dancers.
4. Find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs or my sexual preferences. be ridiculous.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, the agents are here. I should have taken the green pill. Damn the Matrix." and run off.
6.A few minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
7. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers, decorate it with erotic art.

8. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For maths try using Shakespearean speech.
9. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
10. Bring a permanent marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

11. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after an hour to go to McDonalds).
12. Every now and then, clap twice very loudly. If the instructor asks why, tell him or her in a very patronizing tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is clap activated"

13. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
14. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

15. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

16. Bring a water pistol with you. Need I say any more?
17. Bring cheat sheets and staple them to the exam with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
18. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
19. Answer every question with the lyrics to a song. Preferrably a vulgar or sexually suggestive one.
20. Bring a voodoo doll with very large .. erm assets. Croon to it as you write. Glare jealously at anyone who looks at you.


Made my little brain cells dance with delight as I imagined the look on my lecturers face.

 

[starrkers]

18. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.

Hmm, that would certainly raise a ruckus where I did exams - it was the basektball stadium of the college.

It was way away across the sports fields; painted white; and always freezing.

Nickname: Siberia.

 

[R. Richard]

9. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

As much as it pains me to do so, I must take you to task for item 9. Have you no sense of tradition??? You must bring our dog with you and have the dog eat the exam. The dog patiently ate our homework assignments, now you are going to deprive the dog of its big moment??? SHAME!

 

[WRJames]

I had friend who went to the University of Kansas with a year of AP credit -- and it took him five years to graduate! This is quite a trick at that school because if you get below a C average they kick you out. He more or less got either A's or F's.

One summer he came back home -- he had 3 A's and 2 F's that semester -- or maybe it was the other way around. So I asked him how he had managed to fail his courses. For one, the homework was due on Friday, and he had always handed it in the next Monday -- got no credit for ir, and failed the course. The other course he failed because he couldn't find the room for the final exam.

So I asked him, straight man that I am -- where was the final?

In the classroom.