A story I wrote years ago…99% true

[Gmac77]

https://www.literotica.com/s/a-classy-parisienne-lady


i wrote and published this years ago about an experience I had when living in Paris. Would be interested to hear what others think of the story after all this time.

Bear in mind…this was my first attempt at writing anything!

 

[ElectricBlue]

I gave it a five, because once it got going it was quick and spicy - worth the long preamble (which was a bit of a tourist brochure, but no big deal because of that). There's virtually no characterisation and little personality, minimal motivation, but who cares in such a short story with rollicking sex? As I say, spicy.

The pedantic writing police might call you on various things, but I overlooked all that - it's an easy read. A more serious piece would need a closer edit and tighter writing, but for this quickie, I don't think it matters.

 

[CurvySassyAJ]

I liked it as well. Nice job, especially knowing this was your first effort.

I hope that you continue to write, fantasy or experience based stories, in a fashion that pleases you.

 

[sunsetsandsea]

Very well written and reads well for a story of 3.5k words. The world-building of Paris worked for me, but as mentioned above, you could have honed this in with more characterisation.

Other than the odd lewd gesture (licking her lips, playing with lighter), there was little to no foreplay, which I would have liked. Admittedly, it would have been difficult to include it in that length.

The paragraph at the end though, it contains a lot. In one line you mention a shower scene, the character giving her oral and her giving the character a blowjob. The shower could have been foreplay to clean his feet after being in some disgusting fountain. Then you've two oral sex scenes that could lead to main act itself. Missed opportunity here. They would have been written quite well given your writing style.

Keep writing.

 

[Gmac77]

Very well written and reads well for a story of 3.5k words. The world-building of Paris worked for me, but as mentioned above, you could have honed this in with more characterisation.

Other than the odd lewd gesture (licking her lips, playing with lighter), there was little to no foreplay, which I would have liked. Admittedly, it would have been difficult to include it in that length.

The paragraph at the end though, it contains a lot. In one line you mention a shower scene, the character giving her oral and her giving the character a blowjob. The shower could have been foreplay to clean his feet after being in some disgusting fountain. Then you've two oral sex scenes that could lead to main act itself. Missed opportunity here. They would have been written quite well given your writing style.

Keep writing.

Really appreciate your words ….generally very positive and honest, which means a lot. Thanks, Graeme

 

[Gmac77]

I liked it as well. Nice job, especially knowing this was your first effort.

I hope that you continue to write, fantasy or experience based stories, in a fashion that pleases you.

Thanks Curvy, nice to get positive feedback! Cheers, Graeme

 

[Gmac77]

I gave it a five, because once it got going it was quick and spicy - worth the long preamble (which was a bit of a tourist brochure, but no big deal because of that). There's virtually no characterisation and little personality, minimal motivation, but who cares in such a short story with rollicking sex? As I say, spicy.

The pedantic writing police might call you on various things, but I overlooked all that - it's an easy read. A more serious piece would need a closer edit and tighter writing, but for this quickie, I don't think it matters.

Thankyou, you are clearly experienced so your comments carry gravitas! Many thanks fir taking time to feedback. Cheers, Graeme