A statement more prophetical than political

[Merlins Boon]

I wrote this a few months after the Sept. 11th attack and it was published in my college's Literary Arts magazine. However, I wanted to share it with any who would be willing to read it. I'd enjoy any feedback you give me, whether on my writing style, on the content, or anything else. Enjoy.


http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=59244

 

[Star At Sunrise]

Your stuff

Foresight is 20/20
by Merlins Boon ©
There is no peace for the human race. Death is bred in their bones. Conflict and strife are their meat and drink. So it is when they gorge themselves upon the banquet feast that is war, they ignore everything else, so consumed by their unholy lust for blood. Yet when it's over, they seek to set things right, to recreate the sweet illusion of peace, and forge the tenuous alliances and treaties once again, with every intent of breaking them when they time will serve them best. It is a pattern, one that is as old as time, for it is the pattern of war, and war never changes. The Roman's waged war to gather slaves and wealth. Spain built an empire from its lust for gold and territory. Hitler shaped a battered Germany into an economic superpower. But war never changes.

However, the world does not stop for war, and the warmongers never seem to realize this until it's far too late. The first signs of the prophecy have come to pass, from the Book of Orwell, chapter nineteen verse eight-four. Ashcroft the Tyrant and his presidential puppet have given birth to the Patriot, whose virtue is viciousness. The fires of a new war burn across the sea, but even the deepest waters will not stop this inferno from engulfing the world. When the voices of the people can no longer be heard over the din of violence and bloodshed, they will answer with a war of their own making, and all the forces of oppression will crush them beneath their iron fist. The New World Order will be instituted, people will become as slaves, and humanity's darkest hour will come. So it was foretold by the Prophet Orwell, just as the Prophet Atwood predicted the enslavement of women, and the Prophet Bradbury, in a dream, saw the destruction of all knowledge. As harrowing and as unprecedented as they may be, these are the signs of our time, the markings of our generation. The words of the Prophets are coming to pass, one by one they are being made into reality. How long will we wait before something is done? How many will suffer and die before we step forward to say "enough"?

In all honesty, it is doubtful that anyone will read and believe. No one listens to the words of the Prophets and no one heeds the rants of a madman. Still, we must turn away from the idea that safety is better than freedom. We should remember that our forefathers believed that it as better to die on your feet than live on your knees. The priority here is that there are those we love and must protect, and that there are those who have labored to raise man to something higher than the Beast. For their sake, we must fight. For their sake, we cannot let injustice and oppression be born in this, the land of the free. Otherwise, we prove ourselves to be nothing but a lie. This has gone beyond a simple battle for our individual freedom...it has become a struggle for the very lives of our children and our children's children.

Our mothers and fathers have handed us the future. What is done with it is now left up to us.

---

Well, very interesting, but the reason it's probably gotten few responses is because it's not really a poem, but more of an editorial opinion piece. It may belong in a different discussion.

It's very passionate and that's always good. And no one loves to pile on Ashcroft more than me, but I thought the biblical allusions were a bit heavy handed. As a partisan myself, it just seems more effective to me if you can couch your ideas in such a way that it seems more like a natural average opinion than something that even slightly appears to be written with a partisan agenda (The comments on Ashcroft and Bush). It's just more effective because any average reader will notice a partisan angle, and then take the rest of your comments with a grain of salt.

But otherwise it's very passionate. I hate to repeat myself, but sometimes I repeat myself.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I dunno. It kind of looks like prose poetry to me: a series of sentences that form a cohesive whole, has a point, but little structure or form.

All poetry is op/ed.

Overall, though. Heavy on the imagery and short on reason. Kind of like a hellfire and brimstone revivalist's sermon. The kind you get at one in the morning on day five when only the rabidly pious still sing "We Shall Gather at the River."

I disregarded the message before sentence three because the imagery trivialized the message with fanatacism. That may or may not have been the intent, but whatever your imagery was intended to do was completely lost on me.

 

[Star At Sunrise]

Ed's Operation

All poetry is op/ed.


Poetry is only opinion?! I read poetry to hear emotional truth! It's more like "creative reporting!"


I disregarded the message before sentence three because the imagery trivialized the message with fanatacism.

That's exactly what I mean by partisan tone turning an average reader off.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Double D is my favorite

I think I see what he(?) was trying to do with the tone. He was trying to make a profound statement with it. I think, though, that it failed to make that statement.

There should be a good balance between metaphor and message. One cannot overwhelm the other. You get metaphor heavy and you lose it.

As a prose poem, if that is what it is, the message fails. He might have been better off approaching it from a satirical angle than a metaphorical one. Something ala Swift, perhaps.

What is emotional truth? Paradigm. What is paradigm? Opinion. There are no facts, only perspectives. I like poetry cause it likes to shift paradigm on itself, which is kinda cool.

 

[Merlins Boon]

It's not meant to be a poem. It's not long enough to post in the stories section, so I had no choice but to put it in the poems area. I guess that was my mistake, I should have left it off all together.

This piece wasn't meant to be a comprehensive statement about politics or the way of the world. If you've ever read 1984, A Handmaid's Tale, or Farenheight 451, then you'd understand the meaning behind this work. It was made out of fear, pure and simple. It is emotion and nothing more...based on facts, yes, but not a fact in itself. It is meant to be a prophetic warning, it is meant to instill fear and dread about an uncertain future. Bush and Ashcroft are simply where they are. Their role in this piece is minor at best, simply because they are one piece of the puzzle.

The Patriot refers to the USA PATRIOT Act that was passed only a few days after September 11th. It sanctioned a number of actions that were previously unthinkable in the U.S. and by signing it into action, the government has set a very, very dangerous precedent concerning the privacy of it's citizens.

"Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious." - Oscar Wilde

Like I said, it wasn't meant to be a poem. It wasn't meant to give some profound meaning or message.

What it is about is conspiracy, paranoia, and above all, fear. Fear of an unknown future and fear of how much we can trust the people who rule our lives.

I know I'm being a little defensive, but I do appreciate your feedback. Thanks.

And yes, it is "He"