A shameless plug?

[Liar]

Satire? Sure. But it's still fuckin' cute.

----------

Tom Cruise Sues over Unauthorized Use of Image on Butt Plug
By Phil Maggitti
Oct 7, 2006, 08:52

HOLLYWOOD - Tom Cruise has filed a $50-million lawsuit against Holesome Fun Incorporated, the world's largest manufacturer of sex toys, over the company's alleged unauthorized use of his image on its new Mission Insertable butt plug.

Mr. Cruise is also demanding "the immediate and complete withdrawal" of the Mission Insertable butt plug from Holesome Fun's Dark Side of the Moon catalog and from any and all persons "currently harboring" this device.

"My client is tired of being the butt of jokes about his sexuality," said Mr. Cruise' attorney Marvin Keister. "The Mission Insertable butt plug is offensive not only on its face but also in its subversion of an orifice that Scientologists believe is next to godliness.

"L. Ron Hubbard taught Scientologists to respect their large—and their small—colons as the pathway to better physical and mental health; and although Mr. Cruise endorses regular high colonic cleansing and Vitamin K enemas, he is offended by the notion of butt plugs in general and of those with his face on them in particular."

Trey Guccione, CEO of Holesome Fun, responded angrily to Mr. Cruise' lawsuit.

"Like I'm sure Tom's never been shitfaced before," said Mr. Guccione. "He can take his lawsuit, hold it sideways, and stick it where the sun don't shine."

The device at the bottom of this controversy is a 3-inch silicone statuette designed to be inserted into the anus and rectum for sexual pleasure. A butt plug can be inserted during sex or it can be worn while its user is gardening, shopping, or attending the theater.

Butt plugs, which can be worn by men or women, gay or straight, were invented in Greece about 350 BCE. Since then butt plugs have been worn by historical figures (Alexander the Great, Hannibal, and Julius Caesar), musicians (Tchaikovsky, Boy George, and Mick Jagger), and opinion shapers (Gertrude Stein, Barney Frank, and Matt Drudge).

George Washington is rumored to have been wearing a wooden butt plug when he crossed the Delaware to attack the Hessians at Trenton. That, say some Washington scholars, explains he was standing up in the boat during the crossing.

In related news, 17 percent of the respondents to a recent Postcards from the Pug Bus poll believe Tom Cruise was fired by Paramount because of his penchant for wearing butt plugs.

http://www.pugbus.net/artman/uploads/butt_plug_140.jpg

 

[CharleyH]

Just a bump because LOL - its funny! Thanks Liar.

 

[arienette]

That's fucking hilarious.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

It would seem Tom C fucked up. At least he was getting his face out there. He's obviously not going to be making movies again.

 

[Liar]

It would seem Tom C fucked up. At least he was getting his face out there. He's obviously not going to be making movies again.

Correction: IN there.

 

[Guest]

George Washington is rumored to have been wearing a wooden butt plug when he crossed the Delaware to attack the Hessians at Trenton. That, say some Washington scholars, explains he was standing up in the boat during the crossing.

he was moaning quietly and not just from potential victory.


Liar.
why cant you be a chick?

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Shitfaced!



This reminded me of reading some of Sher's posts.

 

[Guest]

Satire? Sure. But it's still fuckin' cute.

----------

Tom Cruise Sues over Unauthorized Use of Image on Butt Plug
By Phil Maggitti
Oct 7, 2006, 08:52

HOLLYWOOD - Tom Cruise has filed a $50-million lawsuit against Holesome Fun Incorporated, the world's largest manufacturer of sex toys, over the company's alleged unauthorized use of his image on its new Mission Insertable butt plug.

Mr. Cruise is also demanding "the immediate and complete withdrawal" of the Mission Insertable butt plug from Holesome Fun's Dark Side of the Moon catalog and from any and all persons "currently harboring" this device.

"My client is tired of being the butt of jokes about his sexuality," said Mr. Cruise' attorney Marvin Keister. "The Mission Insertable butt plug is offensive not only on its face but also in its subversion of an orifice that Scientologists believe is next to godliness.

"L. Ron Hubbard taught Scientologists to respect their large—and their small—colons as the pathway to better physical and mental health; and although Mr. Cruise endorses regular high colonic cleansing and Vitamin K enemas, he is offended by the notion of butt plugs in general and of those with his face on them in particular."

Trey Guccione, CEO of Holesome Fun, responded angrily to Mr. Cruise' lawsuit.

"Like I'm sure Tom's never been shitfaced before," said Mr. Guccione. "He can take his lawsuit, hold it sideways, and stick it where the sun don't shine."

The device at the bottom of this controversy is a 3-inch silicone statuette designed to be inserted into the anus and rectum for sexual pleasure. A butt plug can be inserted during sex or it can be worn while its user is gardening, shopping, or attending the theater.

Butt plugs, which can be worn by men or women, gay or straight, were invented in Greece about 350 BCE. Since then butt plugs have been worn by historical figures (Alexander the Great, Hannibal, and Julius Caesar), musicians (Tchaikovsky, Boy George, and Mick Jagger), and opinion shapers (Gertrude Stein, Barney Frank, and Matt Drudge).

George Washington is rumored to have been wearing a wooden butt plug when he crossed the Delaware to attack the Hessians at Trenton. That, say some Washington scholars, explains he was standing up in the boat during the crossing.

In related news, 17 percent of the respondents to a recent Postcards from the Pug Bus poll believe Tom Cruise was fired by Paramount because of his penchant for wearing butt plugs.

http://www.pugbus.net/artman/uploads/butt_plug_140.jpg

It's excellent, Liar, thank you.




Wonder if Tom buddies with Senator Rick Santorum?

http://www.spreadingsantorum.com/index2.html

Definition: Santorum
Pronunciation: san-TOR-um
Function: noun
Etymology: Savage Love - 05/29/03
1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.

 

[AchtungNight]

I remember the Tom Cruise who a long time ago was a class act, a good person. A person who saved the lives of children about to be trampled by a panicked crowd at the screening of his film Minority Report. Who rushed to the aid of a woman being mugged in London. Who turned in a long string of stellar performances in great films ranging from the psychologically provocative and very human Rain Man to the hilarious and highly quotable Jerry Maguire to the action-packed and well-characterized Top Gun and Last Samurai to the powerful and well-plotted Collateral. These days he is sadly no longer that man. Instead he has become a pale shadow, a caricature forever trying to justify himself to the world. And not just himself either, but a vague ill-defined philosophy that seems less attractive the more we hear about it from him (sorry, Tom, but that's the honest opinion of this longtime classic pulp sci-fi fan). Thank God I no longer care about the latter that much and can accept it as having some good qualities due to writing out my problems with it through erotic celebrity parody. {sighs} It's sad that this has happened to Tom, and even with his recent brief acts of kindness (like his apology to Brooke Shields or his playing the Good Samaritan on a highway a few months back), he still has a long way to go. Tom, you have become so full of yourself you have made yourself irrelevant in the eyes of most of the world. I pity you greatly, and I pray for you too. Why I do somewhat sympathize with your disgust over having people stick an object depicting you up their ass (I'd be disgusted too, if it were me), and your anger over people who don't know you or really want to getting all confused about your sexuality, I really wish you'd get over it and concentrate on living your life. Remember- a closed mind is a reactive mind, and you claim to already know how bad the latter is. In the grand scheme of things, an erotic toy with your visage on it really doesn't matter much and can in fact be considered complimentary from a certain point of view. Shrug it off and concentrate on things that are more important. Like, say, your career, your family, or the girl you still need to marry. This is no big deal, and I hope you and Holesome Fun can resolve it soon.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I guess this explains the whole couch-jumping thing.

 

[Guest]

I guess this explains the whole couch-jumping thing.

BWAH!