A Sexual Sestina

[touchofgrey910]

Wondering if I could get any feedback on this...

Bass bumps vibrations into the room,
A tangy rhythm has your body tangled up in mine,
Bodies meshed and moving together as one.
You laugh at the way we broke into a dance,
Forced by music and raw desire,
But the closeness seems pure.

And when the music slowed to soft and pure,
I loved that you were the only one in the room.
Because I was overwhelmed by this strict desire,
To make sure tonight you were mine,
And holding you close to me in this slow dance,
I know that you are the perfect one.

And when the song ends the clock reads one,
I kiss you in this moment so true and pure.
And you move ahead of me in a seductive dance,
I know that we are moving to another room.
Your heart racing as fast as mine,
And your eyes are filled with lustful desire.

And I would be lying if I said it wasn't my desire,
If I didn't want our bodies to lie as one,
Because I can feel your heat against mine,
And I can steal a taste of your body so clean and
pure.
And the temperature rises in the bedroom,
As you stand before me and continue to dance.

You strip you body naked during the dance,
And I remember the crazy sensation of desire.
And the memories of nights that occurred in this room.
But none will equal the power of this one,
Because tonight the passion and affection is so pure,
And your body is pulsating and stimulated as mine.

And with your body naked and so is mine,
We twist up in bed in another dance.
And when I fill you it feels so pure,
Filling you up and satisfying our desire.
And we come and come and come as one,
Experiencing heaven in this hot, dark room.

I hold you close and let out hips dance,
And when we have finally released this desire,
It returns so quickly and it is still so pure.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Is that a sestina?

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Looks like it - not the easiest form to attempt. Well done, touchofgrey910.

In a traditional Sestina:


The lines are grouped into six sestets and a concluding tercet. Thus a Sestina has 39 lines.

Lines may be of any length. Their length is usually consistent in a single poem.

The six words that end each of the lines of the first stanza are repeated in a different order at the end of lines in each of the subsequent five stanzas. The particular pattern is given below. (This kind of recurrent pattern is "lexical repetition".)

The repeated words are unrhymed.

The first line of each sestet after the first ends with the same word as the one that ended the last line of the sestet before it.

In the closing tercet, each of the six words are used, with one in the middle of each line and one at the end.

The pattern of word-repetition is as follows, where the words that end the lines of the first sestet are represented by the numbers "1 2 3 4 5 6":

1 2 3 4 5 6 - End words of lines in first sestet.
6 1 5 2 4 3 - End words of lines in second sestet.
3 6 4 1 2 5 - End words of lines in third sestet.
5 3 2 6 1 4 - End words of lines in fourth sestet.
4 5 1 3 6 2 - End words of lines in fifth sestet.
2 4 6 5 3 1 - End words of lines in sixth sestet.
(6 2) (1 4) (5 3) - Middle and end words of lines in tercet

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I couldn't for the life of me remember the format .. I did one once for one of the challenges and still cringe at the memory