A series of questions

[mighty_one]

Lately I have spend alot of time browsing these boards and the crowd here seems like the right people to ask.
I am 21 and was raised in a very strict Mormon home. I was taught just not to have sex untill I was married and thats about it. However, I decided that lifestyle did not suit me and recently gave my virginity to my special guy.

The first night we made love the build up was slow, lots of kissing, rubbing, licking ect, mostly on his part, followed by penetration which didnt last long cause he didnt last long. We're talking under a minute. Needless to say I was dissapointed and also in shock that it happened so fast. What can I do to help him last longer?

The following night was just a blur of pleasure... and honestly he barely gave me a moment to collect my wits, I guess he was making up for the first night in both quality and quantity... He lasted a little longer, although each time he was inside he still came extremely quickly.

The next day though I was in agony. My hips, the actuall joint, was hurting so much, and it lasted for a week. Sitting down, standing up, twisting around, lifting, anything that required me to move my legs/pelvis joint brought tears to my eyes. Is that normal? Something I'll get over once I become accustomed to consistant sex?

And my final question, he's mentioned to me that he likes to be scratched and I am always willing to try anything once, but I'm hoping for some basic guidelines. Do areas and also any definite Don'ts would be useful.
Thank you so much in advance!

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[alphacat]

Sex can make you sore.... it is exercise, after all, and a kind you're not really used to yet, especiall not that strenuously
Your body should get used to using those muscles... if not, you can always go see a doctor. But I don't think you'll have a problem.

 

[UCE]

On quick cumming: if you guys do oral sex, suck him off until orgasm first, then wait awhile (half an hour or so) and then make love together. He should last much longer the second time. Oh, and tell him beforehand what you want to try so he doesn't crash after the first orgasm.

On scratching: wow, a new one even for me! Uh, start by asking him where he itches? Maybe he means the kind of scratching that some women do to men's back when they're really hot and enjoying things? Do you know which it is? If its the second, start lightly. When his passion gets intense you can scratch much harder and it will feel good to him rather than like pain.

On the hip: it sounds to me like you were in a bad position and a joint or tendon in your leg or hip twisted or was strained. Wait till it heals and then try some different positions. You may be vulnerable to joint injuries if you keep using that particular position. I have had my hip start hurting before when a guy pushed my legs over my head so they were stretched like a contortionist's. Some positions are just bad for some people.

Unda

 

[ullr]

Hello there mighty_one...

Should the problem (his) continue, there are also desensitizing lotions available tha can be applied to the head of his penis. (Hmmm. Where? Perhaps a sex shop--something likely easier to find online that in Mormonville).

Somtetimes it just takes some (or a lot) of experience for a guy; othertimes (especially among the sexually repressed, whether because of religious commitments or something else) it takes time for a man to know and see and CHERISH the fact that his woman enjot sex, and would like to enjoy it more, and would if the wood were more available! Sometimes it takes suggestion, or even insistence on your part that THIS is really really really what you want--and for him to grasp that he really reall REALLY ought to provide it! (I'm one of the men in the world who doesn't need a 2X2 reminder--but I know how men can be.)

Congratulations on your courage, and I hope you are using some form of contraception. I lived in SLC a year and know from personal relationships how conflicting this can be for an LDSer!

PLease report back sometime on how its all going. I hope you'll have a fun report!

--Orson
PS In the late 80s I had a girlfriend at BYU. She was an ultra-randy delite! and charmed me with tlaes of going with girlfriends to the only porno-theater in SCL, and being practically THE only sex-advisor her marrying woman-friends had about everything sexual...a role perhaps made somewhat obsolete byt literotica.com, although who would argue against the human touch? (Certainly material for erotic stories I ought to write--hey! If Richard Dutcher can do Mormon film noir, can Mormon porn be far behind?)

 

[Bent]

 

[NoRegrets]

What can I do to help him last longer?

Many men have to deal with this to some degree. Back in my early days I found a book called "Male Sexuality" (I think) by Bernie Ziebergeld (spelling?) It has exercises that really helped a lot. Now I can last as long as I like in most situations. I’m sure there are others as well. If you can't find it let me know and I will try to verify the title and author.

This is generally easy to deal with. Be as patient as you can and help him satisfy you in other ways of your mutual choice. After a few months of effort, things should be fine. Best of luck.

 

[Bent]